Tag: transsexual man

Re the post on your son K favoring you for some authority on things at the moment (which is I think wonderful in its own way) : I’m not sure if you’ve said before: is he aware of anything to do with you being trans? I’m wondering if you’d broached the idea with him before and that doesn’t affect how qualified you are for him to come to with even “guy’s stuff”. As a trans man, in times that I think about parenting, I wonder what I would tell my kids and how that would affect our relationship.

~ transmandad ~ Leave a comment

K knows I am trans – FAQ here – but he completely forgets and doesn’t know my junk is any different to a cis dudes. It doesn’t affect our relationship at all because he honestly needs to be reminded on occasion when it’s popped up again. 

But that doesn’t affect how I feel with regards to being “qualified” – he still exclusively comes to me for penis related things and puberty related things, which has been happening far more frequently as of late, and I guess those are the exact kind of things I don’t particularly feel qualified to answer, so to speak. Despite me knowing the answers to all of his questions. 

Regardless, it’s those situations which reaffirm to me that he literally forgets my junk is not exactly like his. Questions like “Dad, how do you handle random boners?” have been popping up frequently, and I guess explaining how to do the gentleman’s tuck to your kid feels kinda shitty when you’ve never actually needed to do it yourself. 

Do you have any fears of being inadvertently outed by your young son?

~ transmandad ~ Leave a comment

Sometimes, and he’s almost done it once when he was much younger.

But not so much now, as he completely understands that it’s not a secret, just not anybody’s business other than he, his Mother and I.

We gave him a list of people it’s okay to speak to about the subject, which is a short list comprising of very close friends and family – to ensure he always feels like he has people other than us he can speak to about it.

But in general now, no – I don’t hold that fear very strongly.

~ transmandad ~ Leave a comment

So, our lives have been thrown into chaos lately due to having to unexpectedly vacate the rental we are living in.

Alongside this, we had to put our beloved family cat down two weeks ago and little K hasn’t been taking it very well. They slept together every night, and K was smitten with our cat.

We’re surviving though. Wife got a new job with more hours, and we’ve secured the new rental which is not only cheaper rent, but far more suited to our family than the current rental anyhow.

I’d say with the amount I’m working, alongside my Wife landing that new job – we’ll have enough saved for a deposit on our own little house in 12 months time.

Life is hectic, but our love surpasses anything.

Growing Up.

~ transmandad ~ Leave a comment

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I feel as though K has crossed some kind of threshold into pre-pubescence in
the last couple of months. It’s natural for my Wife and I to occasionally
remark about him looking “grow up” in certain attire, or when he’s just had a
fresh haircut, or when he uses a particularly complex word in the correct
context.

But this time it’s actually different. He actually is growing up – I
can without effort envisage him as a teenager. He’s always been taken with
music, but now he puts his iPod on his speaker, closes the door and sings at
the top of his lungs. The way he interacts with the world around him has
changed, not necessarily in any negative capacity but more so with a general
feeling of growth. It’s difficult to articulate.

Last weekend, my Wife and I took K on a roadtrip to a small quiet rural town
that had a “great” skate park, according to friends. K is super into riding his
scooter, and it’s kind of hysterical because I grew up obsessed with
skateboarding – scooter riders being an active enemy in my youth.
I digress – he and I had such a good time together, me skating and him on his
scooter. We had the park to ourselves for hours, my Wife and our family dog
were going on short walks, playing fetch and watching alternately. K and I were
cheering each other on, doing lines around the skate park following one
another. Afterwards we walked to the nearby café and bought some lunch to eat
in the park, and then K and I played on the play equipment.
Our car was parked back over near the skate park – our gear already in the boot
but when K lamented at the fact we were going home, and asked for another 15
minutes at the skate park – it didn’t take long for either of us to oblige.
I think we’re going again this Saturday.

Hi, I need a little bit of help and I thought that you would be the most knowledgeable. My mom and uncle are saying that my personality has changed since being on t, that I’ve become more agressive. How do I combat this?

~ transmandad ~ Leave a comment

Do you feel you have become more agressive on T?

I guess this is a difficult question to answer; personally I can attest to the change in senation of anger itself. It is far more easy to access nowdays comparatively speaking, but that’s not to say I can’t control it because I most certainly can.

I think how we experience emotions changes when starting HRT, but how you respond to your emotions doesn’t have to.

It’s 1am here in America and I’ve had a bad headache and haven’t been able to sleep because I’ve been struggling so much thinking about my future. I have an unsupportive family and I’m at the point where I need to make changes in my life if I want to be happy. I felt really sad and depressed and have been crying so I came on tumblr to distract myself and your page came up in my suggestions. Your posts give me hope and I want to say thank you so much for sharing your personal experiences.

~ transmandad ~ Leave a comment

Hey man.

Thank you for the kind words.
You’re most certainly not alone, and feel free to message me any time you aren’t feeling great. It may take me a while to respond, because I’m super busy but I do read every single ask that comes into my box.

You future is going to happen regardless of whether you lay there worrying about it, I promise. It’s difficult to just “let go” but ultimately – that’s the best thing to do. I know it’s hard.

Distraction is a great therapy for a worried mind. I use this tactic all the time and it’s brilliant for us stress heads; check out something that makes your heart flutter, or your mind whizz, or watch cute cat videos on youtube, or watch a super interesting documentary.

This hasn’t been very helpful and I do apologize, but feel free to contact me any time you feel the need.

Hello. I’m not really sure how to ask this, so it may sound like rambling. I am 17, and FtM. I really want to adopt kids some day. I am worried they will hate me or maybe get bullied or something because of who I am. Is there a way that would be best to tell them who I was so they don’t freak out and disown me? A prime age? I know I am a big young to worry about stuff like this, but it taints my daydreams when my own kids turn against me or run away haha (but really…). Thanks!

~ transmandad ~ Leave a comment

Hey. Never apologize for asking a question, the only silly question is that which is left unasked.

I think becoming a parent when you are trans is always going to be fraught with “what if?” type scenarios. But ultimately; kids don’t give a fuck if you have three heads and are green, as long as you love and care for them.

It’s terrifying, but the only thing I can think of more terrifying is not living the life you truly want.

As an aside, here is a link about coming out to K, and here is a link to a great rescource pertaining to coming out to your kids called the “Little Boy Book” produced by FTM Australia, available in hard copy for a fee or for free in .PDF form.

How do you even come out to your parents? My father pretty much hates anything nontraditional and I’m afraid of losing him if I come out. What can I do to soften the blow?

~ transmandad ~ Leave a comment

Coming out is a very personal and intimate process, but there are several ways in which to come out and “lessen” the impact in can have on you directly.
I suggest writing a thorough coming out letter – it allows you to speak your mind without getting interrupted, and gives the reader an opportunity for information to sink in.

For what it’s worth, HERE is my “coming out” post.