It’s probably really strange, but I can’t actually remember how long I’ve been on HRT for, exactly. I do not know the date that I began testosterone, therefore everything is only an approximation.I think it’s coming up to eight years.
Tag: transmandad
Sleep Overs.
K had his best friend stay the night last night, and depite my best intentions this always makes me very anxious. Not only because I am terrified his friend will somehow walk in on me in the shower or toilet, but because we have to care for someone else’s child also.
K’s best friend is very much like him; geeky and full of eight year old energy. They spent thier time switching between playing the Xbox, Star Wars action figures and watching Transformers cartoons. K’s friend is allowed to stay up much later than K (10pm as it’s school holidays for K) and he also forgot his favorite teddy bear so he was finding it difficult to sleep. My Wife was amazing and sprung into action, setting K’s friend up on our lounge with fluffy blankets and a surrogate teddy with some quiet television on. She wandered in every so often and patted his head, reminding him that he was safe and just call if he needed anything.
It did take him until 12:30am to fall asleep, but he felt very comfortable in an uncomfortable situation. I was no good, haha, I was basically reminded of the times I couldn’t sleep and was stuck at friends’ houses when I was a child.
Anyway, it’s interesting seeing how little boys resolve conflicts. I was very proud of K when he abided by the whole “Guests choose/go first etc” rule – for an eight year old who’s used to being an only child that can be difficult.
K also woke up well before his friend due to thier different sleep patterns and simply sat next to where his friend was sleeping playing silently until he woke naturally. Good on him.
Now my Wife has taken them to an indoor playcentre for the morning, then to McDonalds for lunch afterwards and then we will take his friend home. I was thankfully offered to stay home instead, as she will just be reading to pass the time while they play. Whew! Haha.
I need to chill out about these things.
I was wondering if you could talk about how you had your son. Did you adopt? Did you do insemination? Was it a hard process to go through emotionally? I apologize if this is too personal, feel free to not answer and thank you.
I’ve answered this already, however I’ll indulge again because I’m bored.
My Wife had our Son naturally, with a man from a previous relationship. He was completely unplanned, and the relationship was never anything serious – his birth father left the scene when he was 2 weeks old. I met my Wife when our Son was 11 months old, and I am the only Father he has ever known.
He is aware that I am not his birth Father, I’m pretty sure. He mentions “When Daddy met Mummy” happening after he was born.
Often I get depressed because I am not able to biologically produce such a wonderful accident with my Wife the way my son was concieved. We don’t plan on having more Children, so this isn’t really an issue but it certainly makes me feel horrible. I wish more than anything that the simple act of loving my Wife physically could create such a amazing surprise.
Suggestions Welcome.
Once again, I’ve exhausted my list of ideas regarding posts relevant to this blog.
I am more than welcome to suggestions, although I can’t promise I will address all topics suggested as they may not be applicable or I may not have experience in that area.
Submissions are also welcome.
Calling out homophobia behaviour in my kid.
K is actually obsessed with video games and his ultimate goal in life is to design and create them for his profession. He’s eight.
Directly connected to this is the youtube videos he watches with walkthroughs and gaming commentary. My Wife and I monitored this at first, watched them with him. They’re usually older guys who use language that an eight year old doesn’t need to hear – so we sat him down and said we would continue to let him watch these sorts of videos as long as he understood that certain words have negative connotations and they can make people feel hurt when you use them. He’s been great, not one single swear word has exited his mouth besides from an accidental “shit!” when we were in the car one day. All it took was a stern look and he said “I am SO sorry, I honestly did not mean that, it just came out!”.
Sweet.
The other day however he said something along the lines of “so and so is gay!” – meaning whoever he was speaking about was bad.
Wifey jumped on this one straight away, asking what he meant by that, if he knew what gay actually meant etc. He knows about homosexuality – is a staunch marriage equality activist to anyone that will lend an ear (8!!! haha) but didn’t actually know what the word gay meant.
Once explained, he agreed that it’s ridiculous to say something like that in a negative way because “gay people are nice people and they just love each other!” – again, good.
I guess we missed the ball on that one, but it’s sorted now.
often, cisgender people may say “I would just live as a girl/boy if I was born to be.” or say “I would be happy if I was physically pretty/handsome as the sex I was born with,” what do you think of it? I sometimes think maybe if I had a stereotypically good social life, physically beautiful in social norms, I would have been fine being a girl. Have you ever felt that way in your transition? Have you ever regretted your medical transition economy-wise and time/effort-wise?
I have not regretted transitioning at any stage. For me it was clear cut: either I took this scary step of changing my life, or I ended my own life. It was literally what it came down to.
I could not see myself living as a woman, growing old as a woman. I couldn’t even see my own reflection in the mirror as a woman.
If I could have been happy living in the body I was born with I would have done it in a split second. I wish I was. I wish I wasn’t born this way, because it’s not easy. It never goes away. The dysphoria is always there, hacking away at me – despite my physicality now reflecting what it’s supposed to for the most part.
I don’t regret the amount of money I have spent on my transition, I just wish I didn’t have to spend it on fixing my body. I wish it could have been better spent by purchasing a house, opening a savings account for my son. So many other ways I could have spent, and be spending, the money it takes to transition.
Regret? not for a single second. I would be dead if I didn’t transition.
so if your definition of transsexualism is mostly based on medical status, have you yourself ever felt non-binary yourself? or has your gender identity changed at a time? not in regret, but just feeling complicated that in a social situation, you would feel less of a man, or a little different from cisgender men?
I’m not sure I understand the last part of this question, but I’ll answer anyway.
I have never felt “non-binary”. I have felt confusion early on because I was not aware transsexualism was “a thing” – that is, when I was young I was not aware people who were female bodied were able to transition. I always knew I was not female, but did not understand what it is that I was until I learnt about transition.
My gender identity has not changed over time, I have not felt more female or more male. I feel like myself, which is male.
I often feel like social situations with cisgender men are complicated for me, generally speaking I do this “to myself” – it is dysphoria and self doubt around physical appearance that make me uncomfortable in male-oriented social situations.
are you married stealth? if yes, how so? why so?
I am married, and I live stealth in my daily life. My Wife is aware of my trans history, and has been from the start.
I choose to live stealth because what is in my pants is not relevant unless it’s for medical circumstances or you’re about to have sex with me. For me, it’s simply a condition I was born with.
Topic Suggestions Welcome.
Once again, I’ve exhausted my list of ideas regarding posts relevant to this blog.
I am more than welcome to suggestions, although I can’t promise I will address all topics suggested as they may not be applicable or I may not have experience in that area.
Submissions are also welcome.
On another note: this blog has reached 70 followers. Thank you for your support and I hope you find this information valuable.
transmandad 