Early thirties post-transition stealth Father and Husband
I would love to write more here, but I’m exceptionally busy with my studies, work and maintaining a household/ trying to raise a human being/be a husband.
If you’ve got anything you’d like me to write about, feel free to ask/submit.
I find it much easier when I’ve been prompted with something such as that.
I do have something I plan on writing about when I feel I have enough time to dedicate to the topic. I’m not really fond of being half-assed.
Happy Mothers Day to all the Mother’s out there, specifically Aussie Mum’s who celebrate today.
My Wife is sleeping in, K and I have each got her presents and made cards.
We are also cooking her bacon and eggs for breakfast together.
Dr Megan Hassall in Sydney, Australia.
This is a lovely message to wake up to, thank you. K is a wonderful child – very caring and considerate. It’s not only parenting but the people we surround ourselves with also influence K to a large degree.That’s not to say K is a perfect child, because there is no such thing. We sure do have our difficulties, especially lately with hormones coming into play.
Thank you again, this means a lot.
http://embed.ted.com/talks/stuart_brown_says_play_is_more_than_fun_it_s_vital.html
TED Talk: Stuart Brown – Play is more than fun.
I saw this in a class the other week, and it’s been something I’ve been thinking about off and on ever since. It’s made me reflect on my own experiences of play, my play history and how I can incorporate it more into my life with instances other than playing with K.
Today I had to take K to a class I had due to circumstances beyond my control. He was ridiculously excited to attend a lecture, enthralled with the magnitude of the library and kept saying “I can’t wait to go to University!”.
In short, it was probably the cutest thing ever.
Random influx of new followers; feel free to ask stuff.
Things have been turbulent recently for our family due to many things changing in our lives, so I’ve not been as attentive with this blog and for that I apologize. I am also mobile blogging so I apologize in advance for any errors.
K is going through a lot of changes recently alongside the ones we face together as a family, mainly due to a disrupted schedule and more recently – hormones. He’s been having a bit of difficulty controlling his temper, trouble with friends at school having disagreements and generally being a lot more obstinate at home. I’ve heard lines such as “you can’t tame me!” which while are endearing coming from the mouth of an eight year old are still somewhat out of character.
My Wife and I continue to create an environment which clear lines of communication can be had and despite his recent troubles he is being an absolute champ with the new changes that are taking place.
I’m really proud of him, and remind him of that regularly.
A Multitude of Happenings.
I apologize for the inactivity recently, I have been exceptionally busy.
My Wife is now working longer hours, as am I so K has had to learn a bit more resilliance lately. My Wife and I manage our schedules well, and prioritize family time with K each day and on weekends, it just all happens a bit later and for shorter periods during the week now.
K is having to go to after school care more due to aforementioned things, and being a trooper about it all. His schedule moreso than ours has had to be altered because of his extra curricular activities being placed around times one of us is not working, and while he’s voiced a few really valid complaints for the most part he completely accepts this new reality, and understands the good that will come out of it.
He’s growing so much every day.
My Wife and I have noticed his behaviour escalating rapidly lately, his emotions more unstable and volatile than usual. We agree it’s due to hormonal changes – this has been compounded by physical changes as well as emotional then verified anecdotally with other Parent’s. Anyway; both of us grew up in a house with Sisters, and seeing as my history is different from many other Father’s I tend not to be able to draw on my own experiences of boyhood as much.
I’ve been reading some literature, speaking to other Parents and generally just checking in with K a hell of a lot. He’s a Mumma’s boy, but I’m around in the evenings more so I cop the brunt of emotional situations.
Parenting is fucking difficult. There is no time when a Parent has ceased learning, right alongside thier child.
It is the most rewarding, beautiful, amazing thing – being a Father. Never have I felt so blessed.
I had a really draining conversation last night with my Wife regarding trans shit that I keep thinking about.
We spoke about my conflicting emotions regarding support groups, being stealth and me not wanting to assign the label trans to myself even though that’s what I am.
She’s really good at playing the devil’s advocate, and asked if I felt like I had internalised transphobia. That caught me off guard, and I was really quick to try and differentiate my feelings with those of internalised transphobia. I think that just made it look moreso. ha.
I have a lot on my mind.
We spoke about how my experience tends not to follow suit with other trans men that I have known, and my feelings of utter isolation.
It didn’t get anywhere, but it was nice to bounce those thoughts off an actual human being instead of them just swimming around in circles inside my head.
transmandad 