Tag: transmandad

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Whoa, things have been hectic here as of late.

There’s not long to go until Christmas, and we have only one weekend at home before we host Christmas for Wife’s parents and her family.

Needless to say, between work and preparing the house/land, I’ve not had much time to sit down and write. For that I do apologize.

All is well in our little family, though. K is so grown up now it’s beyond a joke – I feel like his maturity has soared in the last six months. It’s hard to put my finger on exactly what has changed, but all I know is I feel very blessed to have such an amazing little man as my Son.

K has had a big fear of swimming and putting his head under water in general since a rather horrific swimming lesson experience in Kindergarten where the teacher literally pushed his head under the water, and threatened him with a lack of Santa that year if he didn’t do it himself. Needless to say we fired that swimming coach, and it’s been a work in progress ever since.

We finally convinved him to give lessons another shot – I mean we live in Australia surrounded by gorgeous bodies of water, rivers and oceans. It’s just not safe if you don’t know how to swim around here.

So last week K had his first one-on-one, swimming lesson since Kindergarten. We didn’t tell the teacher how phobic he was, deliberately. She knew he was an absolute begginer but had no idea just how terrified he was at the thought of water over his head.

Within 10 minutes, K had jumped into the pool, had the water over his head and was doggie paddling across the width of the pool by himself.

This progressed to doing a series of Pin Drops – jumping feet first into the water, arms by your side and springing off the bottom. I was in awe. The instructor is absolutely brilliant, K was having the time of his life and although you could see his fear a little bit – he also knew he was very safe.

Proud is an understatement.

He says he can’t wait to go back this week, and can’t wait to finally go along with his school friends for group swimming next year.

SIde note: I am aware I need to review the Freetom Prosthesis! Had a little bit of a stuff around and I ordered it later than I anticipated by a few weeks, so I’m still waiting on it. Hopefully it will be here before Christmas and I promise to give a good review. I’m taking three whole weeks of around Christmas/New Year – I’ll have the time. Thanks for your patience.

~ transmandad ~ Leave a comment

So, my Wife found an old dvd filled to the brim with youtube videos I made from very early on in my transition. Obviously I’d deleted my channel a very long time ago – but it’s so odd to watch these videos and reflect on the past.
Also embarrassing. Super embarrassing.

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I’m not sure if I’ve answered this type of question previously or not, so I’ll give it another go.

K has difficulty peeing standing up. Well, that’s not entirely true – he just prefers to sit. I often lament this is because I occasionally sit at home and he’s seen me, but despite having his grandfather literally school him on peeing standing at our request – the kid still feels more comfortable sitting.

I can’t blame him to be honest, I mean it’s much more comfortable.

I didn’t feel comfortable showing him how to pee standing up because I felt my prosthetic wasn’t realistic enough and there would be awkward questions.

He pees standing in times such as camping, car trips, side of the road emergency pee-stops and the like. He is very able to pee standing, he just simply chooses not to!

Go figure.

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Job interview went really well, I’ll find out some time this week if I was successful. I sure hope I was.

Life here has been ridiculously hectic. Cleaning the old house and unpacking the new one, leaves us living in the middle of chaos.

K is doing really well, though – despite our attentions being placed on logistics rather than family time.

In K’s world – life is amazing. He got himself a girlfriend. Or rather, she asked him out – and it’s actually adorable. On the day they began “dating”, he waited for her after school in order to open the school gate for her.

Despite all the disruptions, we still managed to sit around the fire pit last night and toast some marshmallows, which K absolutely adores (who doesn’t!?).

I even got to sharpen my axe for the occasion, as we had no chopped wood. I love splitting wood.

Update.

~ transmandad ~ Leave a comment

I’m still alive! Haha. I’ve been super busy moving house (again!), working and preparing for my dream job interview this coming weekend.

Things are chugging along quite nicely here in the country.

Little K seems to have more of an attitude now, and we’re getting into obnoxious territory but my Wife is amazing at handling these things so I let her take the reigns.

Anyhow – don’t hesitate to ask questions. I’ll answer them, it may just take a day or so.

My wife and I are currently ttc and non disclosure was an easy decision for us. To you and other parents: If you were able to decide on disclosing or not, would you have? If you chose to do so, what would be your reasoning for it? Going to the Dr regularly or seeing a plastic surgeon is not uncommon today. Do you feel like it has some special relevance to being a parent or a person in general? I fail to see how feeling like a man and living as one means you have a secret that needs to be told.

~ transmandad ~ Leave a comment

I agree wholeheartedly;

there is no “secret” to be told. At all. Disclosure – especially to your children – is a very personal thing. If I had the choice over; I probably would still choose to disclose. My own Son was very, very confused about his own body in relation to my own – among many other reasons.

I feel as though me being trans has absolutely nothing to do with how I raise (or would raise) children, nor does it hold any baring on how I am as a human being in general.

I apologize if I didn’t answer your question properly.

Yes, I would choose to disclose if I had the option. I can’t quite articulate why I feel that way, though, and I know before my status was disclosed to him I was adamant he’d never know until he was older, if at any time.

It’s had no reflection on how he treats me. He still refers to his conception as though I was involved – “When your sperm met Mum’s egg and I was created….” and we don’t correct him. He knows what’s up.

Any other parents want to weigh in?

Wife’s discussion with my Father.

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I’ve been meaning to write about this for quite some time, but haven’t felt I had enough time to give it the attention it deserves.

Some weeks back, whilst visiting my parents in another state – my Wife and Father had a frank, honest discussion with each other.

Some background information: my Dad is disabled, due to a work car accident when I was only six years old. As a result, he’s semi-paralyzed from the waist down and was told he’d never be able to walk again. He cannot feel his legs and feet, amoung other things. He’s taught himself how to walk because he is a stubborn bastard, haha.

Anyway – my Wife was attempting to explain why I feel like I want lower surgery, and the barrier to that surgery for me. Dad could not understand why having a penis was so important to me – he kept saying “But, the penis doesn’t make a man! – he’s more of a man than half the guys with dicks…”

My Wife tried, several ways, to get him to understand that I know a penis isn’t integral to being male, but for me it’s important.

He said something to her which I haven’t been able to forget. He said “Look, if I kept thinking the way he does – that I need to have a functioning ‘normal’ penis in order to be a man – I’d have killed myself years ago. Mine doesn’t work. Nothing. Nadda. Nobodies home. Probably a bit too much information, but you get what I mean.”

Dad has a bit of trouble speaking to me about these types of personal things. It’s not been a usual occurance in his culture and family to have men speak to each other so honestly about such deep topics, so I wasn’t actually there for the conversation.

My Wife told my Father that he needed to tell me that. All of it. And whilst he agreed; it has yet to happen.

I keep thinking about the conversation they had and feeling bad. Because here’s my own Father – the strongest man I know. The most amazing Father and Husband and Brother and Son. And he feels like I do. Or has. Whatever. And here I am – able-bodied, healthy. Not disabled. And I have the nerve to whinge about not having a cock?

I guess this is why I never wrote about this previously, simply because I don’t know what else to say other than this particular conversation has had me thinking for several weeks.

Hi transmandad, I’ve just discoverd your blog here. I’m married to my wife and we are happy with our 2 year old son. But it has always been on my mind that i feel different. Diffrent from the other womans… 1

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(2) My breasts dont feel like they belong there. I bought a binder online. My wife thinks its a sports bra. I’ve bever been open about this to her. Well she knows i dont feel like a woman all the time…

(3) But here is the thing.. i strongly feel like i want to be a dad for my son. Im so confused. I look on the internet and see al those strong transman who live their own life and i get jalous .Telling my feelings is soo hard.. how did you handle this?..

Hey, thanks for messaging me. Apologies for how long my response has taken, I have been exceptionally busy with work and often forget to check this blog.

It’s certainly exceptionally difficult when attempting to work out where you fit on the gender side of things.
A couple of questions I asked myself and often encourage other people to ask if they’re questioning transition are:
– Can you see yourself living as a Woman for the rest of your life?
– Can you see yourself accepting yourself as a Woman?
– Do you need this so much that you are willing to risk negative reactions?
– Are you willing to take hormones and see Drs for the rest of your life on a regular basis?

They may seem harsh, but the first question is particularly telling. If you can see yourself living as a Woman for the rest of your life, even if you’re unhappy, you may way to reconsider transition.

~ transmandad ~ Leave a comment

I sincerely apologize for my absence, or lack of posting.

Recently I’ve undertaken a new business venture – in effect started my own business and have already filled my client spaces, so I am exceptionally busy.

I’m still able to respond to questions and asks, I just don’t have enough energy to formulate my own thoughtful posts at the present time.

Good things come to those who wait!

~ transmandad ~ Leave a comment

So, my inbox seems to have eaten a few questions.

If you’ve sent a question/ask in recently and I haven’t gotten to it, feel free to send it again.