Early thirties post-transition stealth Father and Husband
I’ve seen it, and to be honest it looks super promising. That’s an understatement – I really, really, really want one.
What I don’t like however is the hefty price tag. I’m so dissatisfied with the majority of STP’s out there, that I can’t risk such a large sum of money on a “what if” right now.
Perhaps when I’ve sorted this whole needing-a-new-car thing out.
Back then, I had a gym membership. There isn’t a gym here, so my routine is different yet still somewhat similar.
I do 3 x workouts/week, minumum. Typically a major muscle group rotation followed by at least 30 minutes cardio. I also try and stick at least another seperate cardio session somewhere throughout the week.
As far as diet is concerned; nothing special here. I just count calories, get enough protien and I’m trying to be better about drinking more water. I really like coffee. I don’t like to eat too many processed foods; I kind of like what I buy to resemble something I could (or do) grow myself, then make food from combined ingredients.
1) Most of the time it comes from out and loud (opposed to just out) trans guys who have the privilege of being able to safely be out. They lack empathy, so they are unable to fathom why there are other trans guys who can’t be out, and their choice to be stealth usually comes down to them protecting their privacy and safety.
2) It implies that stealth trans guys do nothing to help other trans guys with their transition, or help with educating cis people. There are stealth trans guys who educated openly before going stealth, or who currently do behind the scenes work without disclosing that they are trans. It’s possible. To assume that stealth = not helping anyone else, is ignorant.
3) It implies that stealth trans men have an obligation to come out and tell everyone around that them they were born the opposite sex. This could put some people in danger, while other trans guys would rather just exist as a male without the “trans” lumped in front of it. That’s alright, please be decent and respect that, and never out these people without their permission. There’s always going to be trans people who are out, so don’t worry about the trans community not progressing. A few stealth trans guys who exist just like a cis male aren’t going to halt progress.
4) It implies you have two options – stealth, or out. In reality you can be somewhere in between, and that is alright too. Many trans people are somewhere in between because it’s not always possible to be 100% stealth or out.
5) It’s used to guilt stealth trans men into outing themselves, if that has not already been made obvious. What if that stealth trans man lived in a place where he would be beaten up if people he knew found out? Don’t be that person and make a trans person in an already uncomfortable position feel worse.
This was a lovely message to find in my inbox, thank you.
The entire reason why I began this blog was to let other guys know it can be done, you can transition and just live as male. Not as transmale. Just male.
You can have a Kid, get Married, whatever you want.
As an aside, I’d never heard of the #reallivetransadult tag – that’s an interesting concept.
Thanks again for the kind message.
Yeah, apologies for the horrible audio. If I ever make another video I’ll do a voiceover.
I prefer the Peecock for everyday use, only because the Freetom is a little too large for my packing preferences.
It’s impeccable as a sexual prosthesis, though.
I’ve been working out again this week properly since I was last really buff a few years back.
No idea if I will have enough in me to continue with the rate I’m going, but I hope it will at least boost my lately not-so-great self confidence/body dysphoria.
Something I’ve been thinking about/noticing lately – too much free time on my hands as my girlfriend is away.
When we were in my home town this year and went past the boy’s grammar school, my girlfriend asked if that was the school I went to when I was younger. I panicked a bit internally and deflected it the first time, but after she asked the second time I said yes, when in actual fact I went to the girl’s grammar school 15 or so minutes away. I don’t know if she forgot about my status or wanted to be affirming (weird way to go about it) but either way it put me in an odd place of having to deny an experience to my girlfriend.
Similar issue is that my girlfriend complains about period pain each month. I had periods for x amount of years and I’ll suggest shit that worked for me (moving about, orgasms, certain painkillers) and she gets a bit of a shit on about it, saying on a few occasions that I don’t know what the pain is like and to stop being a dick for wanting her to still do things those days. And I’m put in the same situation each time, I either have to say ‘you know I had those too right?’ and feel like shit for reminding myself I’m like this (and uncomfortable as all hell that I’ve talked about it with her..and scared she’ll imagine my pre-op/t genitals, or me having periods, or something that makes me less.. male..) or pass it off that I don’t have any idea what it’s like an have my knowledge/experiences erased.
I choose erasure. And while it’s the best option in the sense that it leaves me feeling less terrible inside, it still comes at a price that weighs on me sometimes.
I don’t know how to articulate it, and probably should have thought about that some more before I wrote this; but at times like this my decision to be stealth and ignore my past with my partner feels hard or limiting, because I can’t talk about things that maybe I’d like to. Or maybe it’s just that I’d like the option, without feeling like I had to check what I’m saying for ‘reminders’, I don’t know. I stand by being stealth, and not talking about my past with my girlfriend. It’s not an easy decision and it’s by no means perfect, but it leads to the least heartache most of the time. That said, it feels like I’m in a weird place sometimes, and I imagine it’ll feel like that whenever I choose to deny an experience.
This is a very important post and I want to thank you for articulating things I have never been able to.
I met my now wife when I had just begun physical transition. At that stage, I was still getting misgendered occasionally (although I had been living as male for a while) and I was much more open about my situation, because I felt I owed an explanation to those around me.
So they know, and always have. It’s been a blessing, to be honest – they’re wonderfully supportive and certainly don’t see me as less of a Father to thier Grandson, or less of a man in general due to it. They were of course trepidatious at first, but I feel that was more due to me being a new presence in thier Daughter’s life than me happening to have been born female.
My Father-in-Law literally tells me that I’m his “Favorite Son-in-Law”, and my Mother-in-Law approves greatly of our Marriage.
So I guess my situation is different, but if they can see how thier Daughter feels about you – and you give them no reason to doubt your integrity; there’s nothing stopping you from marrying the Woman you love.
You don’t have to tell them about your history, you don’t owe anyone anything. This is your private life, and you get to choose who, when, how and if that information is shared. Good luck man.
For everyday packing, I generally wear nothing but men’s briefs.
Generally bonds brand, and I pack daily with a peecock. It sits in the underwear just fine, doesn’t shift and it’s easy to pee with those underpants.
I will use a jockstrap when swimming, and a rodeoh harness for sexytime. Or really tight briefs with a fly hole.
It’s my birthday today or tomorrow. I don’t want to be too specific, so I’m not going to say exactly when.
I turn 28. I feel far older.
transmandad 