Early thirties post-transition stealth Father and Husband
I did not have any private health cover to aid me finanacially speaking, so all up I think it cost somewhere in the vicinity of $8,000AUD.
Here’s a link to information about my particular procedure, unfortunately it’s not related to cost though.
In the future when I have more time, I’ll try and do a breakdown of costs incurred.
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I feel as though K has crossed some kind of threshold into pre-pubescence in
the last couple of months. It’s natural for my Wife and I to occasionally
remark about him looking “grow up” in certain attire, or when he’s just had a
fresh haircut, or when he uses a particularly complex word in the correct
context.
But this time it’s actually different. He actually is growing up – I
can without effort envisage him as a teenager. He’s always been taken with
music, but now he puts his iPod on his speaker, closes the door and sings at
the top of his lungs. The way he interacts with the world around him has
changed, not necessarily in any negative capacity but more so with a general
feeling of growth. It’s difficult to articulate.
Last weekend, my Wife and I took K on a roadtrip to a small quiet rural town
that had a “great” skate park, according to friends. K is super into riding his
scooter, and it’s kind of hysterical because I grew up obsessed with
skateboarding – scooter riders being an active enemy in my youth.
I digress – he and I had such a good time together, me skating and him on his
scooter. We had the park to ourselves for hours, my Wife and our family dog
were going on short walks, playing fetch and watching alternately. K and I were
cheering each other on, doing lines around the skate park following one
another. Afterwards we walked to the nearby café and bought some lunch to eat
in the park, and then K and I played on the play equipment.
Our car was parked back over near the skate park – our gear already in the boot
but when K lamented at the fact we were going home, and asked for another 15
minutes at the skate park – it didn’t take long for either of us to oblige.
I think we’re going again this Saturday.
I agree.
I often see these stories/television programs and forget that these kids will eventually grow up and most likely want to be stealth, or at the very least just live thier lives.
While I would love to have been able to access hormone replacement therapy, puberty blockers and therapy as early as some of these children have, I think that comes with a certain degree of publicity and a lot of “supporters” forget that media nowdays is permanent. Archives are so readily available online that years after a story is published, a simply keyword search will yeild many results.
Kik: transmandad.
I am bored and now logged into this kik. Entertain me, please?
Hey man.
Thank you for the kind words.
You’re most certainly not alone, and feel free to message me any time you aren’t feeling great. It may take me a while to respond, because I’m super busy but I do read every single ask that comes into my box.
You future is going to happen regardless of whether you lay there worrying about it, I promise. It’s difficult to just “let go” but ultimately – that’s the best thing to do. I know it’s hard.
Distraction is a great therapy for a worried mind. I use this tactic all the time and it’s brilliant for us stress heads; check out something that makes your heart flutter, or your mind whizz, or watch cute cat videos on youtube, or watch a super interesting documentary.
This hasn’t been very helpful and I do apologize, but feel free to contact me any time you feel the need.
Hey. Never apologize for asking a question, the only silly question is that which is left unasked.
I think becoming a parent when you are trans is always going to be fraught with “what if?” type scenarios. But ultimately; kids don’t give a fuck if you have three heads and are green, as long as you love and care for them.
It’s terrifying, but the only thing I can think of more terrifying is not living the life you truly want.
As an aside, here is a link about coming out to K, and here is a link to a great rescource pertaining to coming out to your kids called the “Little Boy Book” produced by FTM Australia, available in hard copy for a fee or for free in .PDF form.
This is a very lovely sentiment, thank you.
I am the lucky one. I certainly count my blessings.
My life is by far from perfect in every sense of the word, but it’s about as close as one could possibly get.
The Wife and I have spoken recently about the large amount of questions/asks we get about “how” to find love.
It makes both of us really sad that a ton of trans people are under the impression they’ll have to settle for someone who loves them, or that they may never find that in the first place.
No, stop.
You will find someone who is right for you. It may seem stupid, but I honestly believe there is someone (perhaps even multiple people) out there for everyone. It might be more difficult in the beggining because as trans people, we don’t tend to allow ourselves enough room to love our physical apperance without a lot of work and dedication, but that doesn’t mean it’s impossible.
It’s also spurred conversation about how we might be able to take a non-identifying “family photo” of sorts. Perhaps of the back of us, perhaps in a location no where near where we reside. Perhaps it will never happen at all, but there’s been discussion around it.
Hey, that’s awesome!
I remember when K was 7; such a magical age and they seem to grow so quickly from here on out.
Congrats on T in April, that’s big news!
I know I have answered this before, but upon checking my FAQ’s I couldn’t find it either. Apologies for that.
I had a double incision without nipple grafts. My nipples were removed entirely in the first surgery, and my incisions left to heal.
Once the initial surgery was healed, my surgeon then surgically created new nipples from my skin, while I was under twilight sedation. This was actually amazing to watch, something from nothing.
Once the nipples themselves were healed, I then had my areola and pigmentation of the nipples cosmetically tattooed on.
This way, I got to choose the exact size, color and location of my nipples entirely and my surgeon did not have to focus on anything other than achieving the best possible male contour for my chest. It is the procedure my surgeon reccomended, although they do the “traditional” nipple graft variation alongside peri-areola also.
As an aside, this question is now in my FAQ page located here.
transmandad 