Tag: transman

~ transmandad ~ Leave a comment

Support Groups and conflict within myself.

So, in the past I’ve attended several support groups for men who happen to have transsexuality. They’ve for the most part been difficult to navigate due to the vast differences between myself and a lot of other men in those groups, but I have none-the-less actually found them valuable.

It aided me in being able to vent frustrations to other men who understand, allowed me anonymity due to strict confidentiality guidelines and I was even able to talk about the level of self-hatred my transsexuality causes without judgement. All of the groups soon dissipated after a while.

At the very least, I was able to understand that I am not like the vast majority of men who attend groups like this. I am not “out” and do not wish to be, I am not in the early stages of transition, I am not proud of my condition. I was able to express all of this without being confronted, sneered at or told that I “should embrace who I am” and I really appreciated that.

There’s talk amoungst a service I volunteer for regarding the creation of two related yet different groups for men who suffer with transsexualism. One being for the vastly increasing “younger” crowd who may or may not be trans, but feel like the need a space to speak about gender. Some may be trans, some may not be.
The other group is for much older men, much older than myself – who for whatever reason have not until much later in thier lives found out transition was possible. It’s heartbreaking to see how many older men around my area just resigned themselves to being “butch lesbians” because they thought that was all they could do. These men are in thier late 40’s all the way up to late 70’s, and I couldn’t imagine begging my transition so late.
But they do, because they have to. Because even if it’s one or two years living in a body that doesn’t constantly betray them, it’s better than nothing.

I will admit I have no idea what the point of this rant was, but I feel very conflicted with regards to groups like this.

On one hand, I have a strong desire to attend one or two meetings so I can explode my dissatisfaction amoungs men who have similar feelings. On the other hand I absolutely have no desire whatsoever to be associated with the trans label, or trans anything.

I feel contradictory, so I’m calling myself out.

Hi, a guy has created a facebook group for trans dads and I though maybe you or some of your followers would like to know about it. If you go to JackGr8ndEmpire’s youtube channel, his newest video has the link to it in the description. By the way, thank you for making this blog, I’m not a father but I really enjoy reading it.

~ transmandad ~ Leave a comment

Thanks for this. While I will not affiliate myself with trans things on Facebook, I’m sure some followers may appreciate it.

~ transmandad ~ Leave a comment

Anon:

If you don’t use an STP this is another great solution; a lot of men’s briefs have a fly that you pull your dick through to pee, but some of them are sewn like little pouches except for a small hole inside and out.

The underpants in the photo are what I am describing. You can just put the packer inside the little pouch – it’s not touching your skin, it’s holding the shaft down and in place and doesn’t move at all.

Packer shown for demonstration is 4" GV Sailor.

Packing.

~ transmandad ~ Leave a comment

For those who follow that are male and happen to be trans; do you pack? With what? Have you found it to be triggering, or the opposite?

All of a sudden I’m really curious.

I pack every day. Quite often during the night, too – but I tend to find that my packer migrates out of my boxers. I am a very restless sleeper.

I use a 4" Gen 1 Peecock, and I really like it better than most other STPs I have tried due to the fact that I don’t need to touch my actual anatomy to pee with it.

~ transmandad ~ Leave a comment

I take submissions, don’t forget!

If you’re a trans Dad or trans Parent or interested in general, feel free to submit. If you’d prefer to stay anon just specify as such in your submission and I’ll ensure your confidentiality.

I’m procrastinating – if you’d like to help me do so by asking questions or submitting whatnot that would be appreciated, haha.

Submit to transmandad // Ask a question.

~ transmandad ~ Leave a comment

Third Grade.

So K has gone into third grade in the last two weeks. He absolutely adores school and learning, so he’s been looking forward to going back to school all holidays.

After his first day, he came home a little overwhelmed. Not with grade three itself – but because being in third grade meant he began thinking about his schooling future. He was freaking out about High School and the prospect of different classes etc. After I went through some of his concerns (which are all valid) I explained that he doesn’t need to look toward his future with concern, but live as best he can right now to prepare for his future the best he can.

We spoke about Math, and how he really loves that subject. We spoke about how he wants to become a video game designer, and how even at eight he’s taking steps to make that become a reality when he’s older.

It really takes me aback when I think about the conversations I have with my eight year old Son. I often wonder if other parents have to have these conversations so “early” like my Wife and I do.

I think it’s got something to do with the fact that he’s an only child. I was too for the most part as my siblings are much, much older than myself and had moved out/moved states when I was around K’s age. As a result I grew up being spoken to like an adult, and while we do that with K to a certain degree – we still make sure that we allow space for him to enjoy his childhood.

Anyhow, I haven’t written here in a while but still log in each day to see what’s been happening. If you have any questions or topics you’d like to see covered, shoot me a message/ask.

– TMD.

~ transmandad ~ Leave a comment

Sleep Overs.

K had his best friend stay the night last night, and depite my best intentions this always makes me very anxious. Not only because I am terrified his friend will somehow walk in on me in the shower or toilet, but because we have to care for someone else’s child also.

K’s best friend is very much like him; geeky and full of eight year old energy. They spent thier time switching between playing the Xbox, Star Wars action figures and watching Transformers cartoons. K’s friend is allowed to stay up much later than K (10pm as it’s school holidays for K) and he also forgot his favorite teddy bear so he was finding it difficult to sleep. My Wife was amazing and sprung into action, setting K’s friend up on our lounge with fluffy blankets and a surrogate teddy with some quiet television on. She wandered in every so often and patted his head, reminding him that he was safe and just call if he needed anything.

It did take him until 12:30am to fall asleep, but he felt very comfortable in an uncomfortable situation. I was no good, haha, I was basically reminded of the times I couldn’t sleep and was stuck at friends’ houses when I was a child.

Anyway, it’s interesting seeing how little boys resolve conflicts. I was very proud of K when he abided by the whole “Guests choose/go first etc” rule – for an eight year old who’s used to being an only child that can be difficult.

K also woke up well before his friend due to thier different sleep patterns and simply sat next to where his friend was sleeping playing silently until he woke naturally. Good on him.

Now my Wife has taken them to an indoor playcentre for the morning, then to McDonalds for lunch afterwards and then we will take his friend home. I was thankfully offered to stay home instead, as she will just be reading to pass the time while they play. Whew! Haha.

I need to chill out about these things.

~ transmandad ~ Leave a comment
thatsnothowitworks replied to your post: Suggestions Welcome.
Are you on your son’s birth certificate as his father?
No, I am unfortunately not. His birth father has however asked when this will be happening (mainly because he doesn’t wish to spend any of his unemployment on “a kid he doesn’t even see” – quote) and basically doesn’t give a shit at all. We’ve looked into it and even with both parties consenting, it’s going to be a minumum of $4K to do the court process of me legally adopting him, lawyer’s fees etc. At this time in our lives we simply have to prioritize spending money on other things – but this will eventually happen.