I’m back to my regularly scheduled hectic life after a good long break, so I’ll only be on here irregularly.

Feel free to ask me questions, they stick around waiting for me to get back 🙂

Does anyone remember back in the livejournal days where “mtm” was a thing? I was thinking about this just now and I find it comical but can’t place why.

Are you religious, and/or are your parents religious?

I was raised Catholic, and my parents are Catholic. I went through all the traditional Catholic rites (from Baptism to Confirmation) and went to private Catholic schools up until High School when I refused.

I am no longer Catholic, and do not identify with the diocese in any way.

I hold personal religious beliefs which I don’t feel are relevant to this blog.

Dysphoria.

What do you do when your dysphoria becomes unbearable?

I thought I might attempt to create some dialouge regarding this because, well, I’m in need of some other ways to mitigate the negativity of this fucking condition.

Some things I do that usually quell the urge to top myself when dysphoria becomes unbearable are:

  • Distract myself. Often this includes doing completely pointless things such as watching videos of kittens and puppies on youtube, watching some comedy or a good film.
  • Play music. The concentration it takes to learn a new piece on an instrument is often enough to detract from other intense feelings, if only for a slight while.
  • Attempt to focus on the positive changes that testosterone has brought about (obviously many) instead of the things I’m feeling dysphoric about.
  • Help someone else do something; I love the feeling helping others gives me. Not only is this productive but it also gives you a good feeling that can sometimes be strong enough to mask any negativity.
  • Kill things on Halo/ other FPS type video game(s).

This is only a very limited personal list of things that have helped me in the past. Unfortunately I feel as though none of these are working well as of late, but they’ve held me for eight or so years already so they certainly have thier merrits.

It would be interesting and possibly helpful if anyone felt like they had anything to contribute.

How to make a Packer – Tutorial

jayke:

I want every person who wants to pack to know how to make one, because the packer I bought was a complete waste of money, so here’s a cheap/easy way to make a your own. (I saw the finished product in a video and basically figured it out for myself, and added a few things since my last post.)

Please look over instructions completely before making as there are options within instructions. 

What you need: 

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Hair gel, condoms, yarn (optional), scissors, tissues, nylon and bandages.Tissues are good to keep on hand to avoid messes. Also if try for non-scented gel, or your packer may smell like the gel. Mine smells like coconut suntan lotion, so it’s all good.

 Step 1:Fill a condom with gel, note that the type of condom you use will effect size, so unless you’re going for a large packer, go for smaller condoms.image

 Step 2:Once condom is filled to the desired length of your packers penis, tie a knot at the end.image

Then cut off the loose end of the condom. 

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Step 3:Put another condom over it to make it stronger. It will also be firmer the more condoms you use, two has worked fine for me.

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And once again cut off the end after the knot.

Step 4: Fill a second condom for the balls using the same method as above. When filling it with gel, remember that this will be both balls. I pinched the center while filling it to measure the gel on each side, to make sure the balls would not be too big or too small.image

Step 5: Using the condom you’ve made for the testicles, twist it into two balls.

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Make sure they are at least close to even. Or make one super huge, I don’t care. It’s your packer.

Step 6: Tie a string around the center of the condom where it is twisted, to ensure both balls stay in place.image

Cut off excess string.

Step 7:But bandages over the ends of both balls to cover tip and tied ends. (My bandages are very sticky – they practically wax my legs when I use them. Tape is another option but I find it usually does not stick.image

 Step 8: Fit the balls into the end of the nylon.

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Twist the nylon around the balls and tie a knot – when you untwist it, it should look like this as its easier to adjust than when tied in permanent ball form.image

 Step 9: Place bandages on condom that is the penis, and then place it into the top of the nylon so it rests on the knot. Tying a knot, tightly above the penis. 

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& Cut off excess nylon.

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 This is the basic shape I keep mine in as that was it is easier to adjust. However you can also twist it like this

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 And using some string – tie it into place.

(also if you put the penis in first, and then the balls, you avoid getting a knot at the end of the penis. I personally do not care as it doesn’t show and I can’t feel it through my pants, so it’s no big deal to me.)

Another option I made for myself.

Since I wasn’t planning to use my online-bought stp/packer anymore – I made this as an extra/option.

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 Using a string and a condom to which I could make my own size penis from, I tied it onto the balls I cut off from the packer. I just wanted to do something with it, since I planned to just toss the stp. I couldn’t pack with it – because it was large, it’s too old and personal – cause it’s been in my underwear, to give away, and I didn’t want my mom possibly opening the trash and seeing a dick lying in there.

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 The only thing I really dislike about these, is you can’t wash them. 

I made  variety of options for myself. Smaller ones are better for shorts and jogging pants.

Now I just have to make a harness that works for these, as the self made ftm harness, doesn’t hold these in place.

I haven’t seen many people speak about this method of packing. I actually find these kind of packers much more realistic than a Mr Limpy, especially because you can size it to exactly what you’d like. More than one stocking over the top (several stockings) makes for a more realistic color tone.

Hey – thanks for posting your top surgery info. I am currently deciding what options I have for top surgery, I live here in Sydney but unsure if I should return to NZ for it. May I ask how you found Dr Hassall? I have heard mixed reviews..

Hey.

Dr Hassal is very abrupt, but I actually appreciated that. She is definately not someone who will sugar coat things for you, if you’re overweight and that’s an issue she will tell you in no uncertain terms.

It seems as though people are expecting to have some lovely woman be exceptionally excited about performing surgery. Thing about Hassall is she is a general plastic surgeon, an exceptional one. She has a variety of patients and is often called to trauma cases where plastic surgery is required, so she certainly doesn’t have to worry about a client base.

In terms of surgery itself, she was VERY thorough. She explained what she would like to do with my chest for the best results, asked if I would be happy with that – which I was – and then explained in detail how we would go about it.

She does immaculate work and is very concerned about achieving the best possible cosmetic outcome – it seems like she is a perfectionist.

I hope that helped at all.

Pictoral breakdown of the “World Simplest Packy Harness”

I used a couple of shoelaces because I didn’t want to take off the harness I was wearing.

If you recognize me, please uphold my confidentiality.

I’m not even sure if this is remotely understandable.

It’s probably really strange, but I can’t actually remember how long I’ve been on HRT for, exactly. I do not know the date that I began testosterone, therefore everything is only an approximation.I think it’s coming up to eight years.