Tag: transman

Hi there! I recently started following you and am so glad you exist! I was looking for resources on queer parenting that are transdad inclusive and I haven’t found much so far. I’d appreciate any leads you could give me — other blogs, zines, books, speakers, etc. I’m a queer cis woman married to a queer trans guy. We’ve been together for 8 years and he began transitioning within the last two years. We’ll be going through steps to get me pregnant in the next year or so — very exciting!

~ transmandad ~ Leave a comment

That is very exciting! Congrats!

As far as rescources go, I’ve got one that is more for when the child is actually born: The Little Boy Book. My FTM Fatherhood tag on here might also be useful, but it’s mainly my own experiences mixed in with a few sparse rescources. Also there’s the helpful links tag which doesn’t really pertain to parenting per se, yet might also be useful for you or your partner.
Someone linked me to a facebook group for trans father’s in this post. Also this post might be helpful, too.

Whew, I hope any of that helped. Once again, congrats on your upcoming journey and all of my blessings.

I haven’t been following you for long (probably about 15 minutes), but i felt like i had to message you. Your blog has given me so much confidence, knowing that you have found a loving partner and are a father. I feel down because i fear i’ll never find a woman that will fully accept me for who i am, and i know one day i’d love to have children, but i’ve thought it was unrealistic. I love hearing you talk about your son, you really love him. I hope you and your family are well. – Thomas

~ transmandad ~ Leave a comment

Hi Thomas,

Thanks so much for your message. I don’t get many these days.
I originally created this blog with that very intention – to let other guys in our situation know that finding love is certainly possible. But there’s more to it than that; you can have a family, and you can thrive.
I’m not saying all of that it easy, but everyone should know that it’s certainly possible. There are so many ways you could have children in the future: finding a partner who already has a child, IVF, Donors, Surrogates, Adoption.
It’s your life – you get to choose how you live it. Discount nothing.

Hormones.

~ transmandad ~ Leave a comment

Things have been turbulent recently for our family due to many things changing in our lives, so I’ve not been as attentive with this blog and for that I apologize. I am also mobile blogging so I apologize in advance for any errors.

K is going through a lot of changes recently alongside the ones we face together as a family, mainly due to a disrupted schedule and more recently – hormones. He’s been having a bit of difficulty controlling his temper, trouble with friends at school having disagreements and generally being a lot more obstinate at home. I’ve heard lines such as “you can’t tame me!” which while are endearing coming from the mouth of an eight year old are still somewhat out of character.

My Wife and I continue to create an environment which clear lines of communication can be had and despite his recent troubles he is being an absolute champ with the new changes that are taking place.

I’m really proud of him, and remind him of that regularly.

~ transmandad ~ Leave a comment

I’ve been informed of a group in my area which is specifically for older men with transsexual history. It’s exceptionally private, you basically have to have an intake before you’re able to participate.

I am considering going once, to see what it’s like.

I am also considering running in the opposite direction with all of my might.

So we will see which one wins out.

Do you think there are any good parts about being trans? I mean there is so much shitty stuff there must be something right?

~ transmandad ~ Leave a comment

I had to think on this a while.

I tend to note all the terrible things regarding being trans, which are numerous obviously. But the only good thing I can think of somewhat is that my female history has allowed me a better understanding of my Wife and sometimes Women in general. I feel like a dickhead for saying that, but being able to know exactly how horrible some of the things that happen to Women are allows me to empathize with my Wife and other Women moreso than I probably would be able to if I didn’t have a female history.

~ transmandad ~ Leave a comment

A Multitude of Happenings.

I apologize for the inactivity recently, I have been exceptionally busy.
My Wife is now working longer hours, as am I so K has had to learn a bit more resilliance lately. My Wife and I manage our schedules well, and prioritize family time with K each day and on weekends, it just all happens a bit later and for shorter periods during the week now.

K is having to go to after school care more due to aforementioned things, and being a trooper about it all. His schedule moreso than ours has had to be altered because of his extra curricular activities being placed around times one of us is not working, and while he’s voiced a few really valid complaints for the most part he completely accepts this new reality, and understands the good that will come out of it.

He’s growing so much every day.

My Wife and I have noticed his behaviour escalating rapidly lately, his emotions more unstable and volatile than usual. We agree it’s due to hormonal changes – this has been compounded by physical changes as well as emotional then verified anecdotally with other Parent’s. Anyway; both of us grew up in a house with Sisters, and seeing as my history is different from many other Father’s I tend not to be able to draw on my own experiences of boyhood as much.

I’ve been reading some literature, speaking to other Parents and generally just checking in with K a hell of a lot. He’s a Mumma’s boy, but I’m around in the evenings more so I cop the brunt of emotional situations.

Parenting is fucking difficult. There is no time when a Parent has ceased learning, right alongside thier child.

It is the most rewarding, beautiful, amazing thing – being a Father. Never have I felt so blessed.