Tag: transman

While K’s Away.

~ transmandad ~ Leave a comment

It’s only been a few days since K left for his Grandmother’s, but within five hours my Wife and I felt the lack of his presence.

We’ve had to remember what it is couples do when they don’t have children. Last night we went out to the pub to meet up with some friends, and had a quick dinner.

We are so much more playful with each other right now. It’s so lovely and dynamic, and we are bouncing off of one another with chemistry. It makes me reflect upon when we first met eight years ago.

Lately it’s been showers together, giggling within seconds of waking up, falling asleep intertwined, music up as loud as we like, candles and incense and impromptu dinner outings.

We skype K each night, and text him, call him. He’s having an absolute blast; Hip Hop Dance classes, riding motorized buggys around his Grandmother’s 6 acre property, feeding ducks, playing with his cousins.

So many times I’ve been sleeping in (oh.my.word. I forgot what that felt like, you all fucking enjoy that you hear! haha) and woke up in a panic wondering where K is, why he hasn’t woken us, if I’ve made his breakfast or if We’re late for school. It’s just really fucking odd not having him around, and we miss him very much.

If you know me IRL, and don’t particularly want to read about my sex life, then don’t click this read more.

My Wife and I have made an agreement; after one of her colleauges remarked at how doing this improved her life greatly.

One month; sex every single day no matter how tired or busy we are.

That began last night – and if it’s anything to go by, this will be very fun. Of course when K returns we will need to be a little more covert. Hah.

But yes, we are both committed to the cause.

~ transmandad ~ Leave a comment

I am going to a Men’s Support Group this coming Sunday. It’s specifically for FTM Men, and every other guy is quite a bit older than me, although some have yet to medically transition.

I am pretty nervous, but also excited to be honest. It’s a completely private group, I know the facilitator, a friend of mine is likely attending also for the first time. From what my friend (facilitator) said there’s a pretty even mix of blokes attending – I’m looking forward to it a tiny bit but mostly petrified.

Also, tomorrow evening I’m walking around to said friend’s house (older facilitator bloke) and watching the footy, drinking some beers. Butch time, hahahaha.

~ transmandad ~ Leave a comment

11:12PM: I suddenly realise I’ve left a Gen 1 peecock behind the bathroom door in a cabin my wife, son and I rented to stay in for the weekend.

When I got out of the shower, I couldn’t see it anywhere near my clothes where I thought I’d left it. It was early and we were in a rush so I assumed that I must have already packed it with everything else besides the clothes I was about to put on.

I have been looking for it everywhere and I suddenly remember seeing it in the very corner where the door would usually cover if it were open. I must have kicked it off my clothing pile which was a foot or so away.

I want to die. It’s a small place we usually visit, they know us. And now they have my cock all up in thier cabin bathroom. Fuck.

There will be no sleep tonight.

Being Stealth is Not Being Ashamed

~ transmandad ~ Leave a comment

thepolitesir:

There’s a huge shitstorm right now because some dumb ass therapist is equating trans people being stealth with them being ashamed of themselves and inside the closet and shit like that. He is also assuming that stealth trans people can do absolutely nothing for their communities. This is so fucking far from the truth that I just want to scream and shit out a cinderblock or something to throw at the corner of his house.

  1. Being trans doesn’t make up my entire identity. Yes, it assisted greatly in making me the man that I am today, and it gave me a certain set of unique issues to work through and various problems that I’ll need to face and overcome, but when I think of myself, I don’t describe myself as just being a trans guy. I describe myself as intelligent, resourceful, patient, kind, and stubborn. Those are the traits that make up -who- I am, and that’s all anyone but my medical professionals and significant other, and anyone else I deem worthy enough needs to know. 
  2. Being stealth is not the same as being closeted. I live in Texas, so in part, being stealth for me is used as a safety measure. On the other hand, it’s basic comfort. I want to be viewed as who I am, not targeted and oggled because of something about me. I like getting through the day without being asked invasive questions about things I don’t want to think about.
  3. I am not hiding anything about myself. The people who need to know are aware that I’m trans. That’s it. Nothing is hidden. 
  4. I am perfectly capable of educating people without having to reveal my trans status. With the assload of studying and life experience I have with all of these issues, it’s safe to say that if I see people having a conversation about it and they have questions that they can’t come to an agreement on, I could easily find some way to explain a foreign concept to them without having to come right out and tell them, “by the way something whacko happened when I was born lol.”
  5. I am not ashamed of being trans. As I stated in point 1, a large part of the reason I am who I am today is because of the things I’ve had to go through as a result of being trans. I’m not really proud of being trans, but I am proud of myself for coming as far as I have and enduring all of the shit that comes with this condition, as I am similarly proud of myself for overcoming other extremely daunting obstacles in my life. To have worked so fucking hard to get to a point where I’m remotely okay with myself and my accomplishments, I would be pretty fucking pissed if, for the rest of my life, I could only ever be viewed as one thing, instead of the dynamic, strong individual that I am.

It makes me really, really fucking sad that a THERAPIST doesn’t understand these things.

Being stealth is just fucking fine, as is being loud&out. It’s up to the individual to make that choice, and it really fucking bothers me that people are trying to bash on others who live differently than they do. Frankly, it’s none of your business if someone doesn’t want to be out&loud, they don’t have to be that way to be a ‘good trans activist person’ or whatever. There are a metric ton of things that stealth people have done that you don’t hear about because they’re fucking stealth.

my god.

TL:DR basically don’t be a stealth-shaming dick.

My boyfriend and I have been together for a few years now, and one day we’ll want to have children and he’s ftm. This is a weird scienceyish question I guess? Generally, when cis men have kids, their testosterone levels drop significantly. How do you think this effects transmen as fathers?

~ transmandad ~ Leave a comment

This is something I am certainly not qualified to answer, despite having some university Biology under my belt.

I feel as though if your boyfriend has had a hysto, and is taking testosterone – there will be nothing to “drop” his testosterone levels (or raise his estrogen). If he still has his reproductive organs, perhaps they may infer an undue amount of estrogen during/after pregancy, but that’s just a haphazard guess.

My best advice would be to see a fertility specialist. Good luck!

Some time ago, I made a stupid decision and outed a transgendered person without thinking before I spoke. Looking back, I’m not sure why I did this, and due to my anxiety disorder I’ve been unable to stop myself from feeling guilty since this happened and constantly stress over it. I feel like what I’ve done is completely unforgivable but I need some closure, and I wanted to ask for your opinion on it as you’re someone I greatly admire.

~ transmandad ~ Leave a comment

Firstly I want to say congratulations on your self reflection and assessment; I think it’s very bold to own up to past “mistakes”. Secondly I also want to remind you that, well, you’re human! We are fallable and often make mistakes in order to learn from them.

I can understand Anxiety Disorder, and if you were to message me off Anon, we can speak about that at length if you wish.

You need to understand that no amount of guilt or self punishment will “retract” past actions/words, nor will they make you feel any better about the situation. In fact, it’s likely to do the exact opposite.

If you are still in contact with said person, perhaps to gain the much needed closure you speak of, perhaps write them an Anon email or message or something similar, and apologize.

What you did wasn’t nice, but it’s certainly not “completely unforgivable” – I think by the way you have phrased this you are more than aware of the reprecussions of outing someone. That is more than enough of a lesson learnt; many trans people still don’t understand this.

Give yourself a break. You are human, and we all make mistakes. What is impressive to me is that you are working actively to try and rectify what you see as a wrongdoing. Again, much more than most people ever do. Well done.

~ transmandad ~ Leave a comment

Get a wedding invite from friends in the mail: explicitly mentions children are not welcome at the reception but are welcome at the ceremony. Both reception and ceremony are being held at the same damn place – do people not realise how challenging it is to be a parent when things like this happen?!

We will have to pay for a baby sitter, and drive K to/from ceremony before we can attend the reception. Bit inconsiderate.