This is super important research, and if you’re a trans parent in Australia I urge you to consider filling this out.
University of Western Sydney – Experiences of Transgender Parents Survey
Tag: trans parenthood
So I still have a fair number of questions in my ask box, but I am going to call it a wrap for tonight. (I love you all but I need to sleep too!) If I happened to miss your question I will try to get to it soon, I may sprinkle a couple more throughout the week, or just save them for next Tuesday. If I did not answer you, it is nothing personal, promise! In a few cases I deleted some questions where I felt like I would be offering the same answers, so if I totally missed you there feel free to resend something in between now and then.
Thanks for all the interest, Tumblr! Goodnight.
Just letting you all know about this really cool and interesting tumblr – trans-parenting. If you haven’t already you should check it out.
Whoa, things have been hectic here as of late.
There’s not long to go until Christmas, and we have only one weekend at home before we host Christmas for Wife’s parents and her family.
Needless to say, between work and preparing the house/land, I’ve not had much time to sit down and write. For that I do apologize.
All is well in our little family, though. K is so grown up now it’s beyond a joke – I feel like his maturity has soared in the last six months. It’s hard to put my finger on exactly what has changed, but all I know is I feel very blessed to have such an amazing little man as my Son.
K has had a big fear of swimming and putting his head under water in general since a rather horrific swimming lesson experience in Kindergarten where the teacher literally pushed his head under the water, and threatened him with a lack of Santa that year if he didn’t do it himself. Needless to say we fired that swimming coach, and it’s been a work in progress ever since.
We finally convinved him to give lessons another shot – I mean we live in Australia surrounded by gorgeous bodies of water, rivers and oceans. It’s just not safe if you don’t know how to swim around here.
So last week K had his first one-on-one, swimming lesson since Kindergarten. We didn’t tell the teacher how phobic he was, deliberately. She knew he was an absolute begginer but had no idea just how terrified he was at the thought of water over his head.
Within 10 minutes, K had jumped into the pool, had the water over his head and was doggie paddling across the width of the pool by himself.
This progressed to doing a series of Pin Drops – jumping feet first into the water, arms by your side and springing off the bottom. I was in awe. The instructor is absolutely brilliant, K was having the time of his life and although you could see his fear a little bit – he also knew he was very safe.
Proud is an understatement.
He says he can’t wait to go back this week, and can’t wait to finally go along with his school friends for group swimming next year.
SIde note: I am aware I need to review the Freetom Prosthesis! Had a little bit of a stuff around and I ordered it later than I anticipated by a few weeks, so I’m still waiting on it. Hopefully it will be here before Christmas and I promise to give a good review. I’m taking three whole weeks of around Christmas/New Year – I’ll have the time. Thanks for your patience.
It was Father’s Day here yesterday (Sunday) and I had a fantastic day.
K made me an awesome card at school, and bought me a mug that says “Dad of the Year” on it. My Wife and K also got me a new axe, which was sorely needed seeing as when I split wood on Saturday I cut my hand on the splintered handle of the old axe. Alongside a metal Chevrolet sign for my garage and a new knife steel. My Wife joked that the knife steel is more a present for her, so I can hone her kitchen knives.
We had a lovely day doing not much – as per my request – and lazing about in the sunshine eating good food, telling stories and watching K play on our property.
Was there ever a time in your life when you were fervently against having kids? As in, Did Not Want? Or did you always want kids, or were you ambivalent or not sure? Did your attitude towards having kids change at any point and why?
There was certainly a time in my life where I was completely sure I would never have children, nor did I ever think I would want to be a Father.
I grew up stating adamantly that I would never have children, much to my parent’s disgust.
This all changed when I fell in love with my now Wife. When we met, I literally fell for her upon first gaze. At first, neither of us saw what we had as a lasting thing. Three days into knowing her, and having spent every waking hour with her since meeting she told me about K – who was 11 months old at the time and staying with his Grandmother as Wife was on holidays.
I was terrified of meeting K. I walked into the lounge room and saw his gorgeous blue eyes and blonde hair, and knew in that second this was my home. My Wife was my soul mate.
Within minutes, my Wife remarked that K must have soiled his nappy (diaper). Without hesitation I stood up, asked where the wipes and new nappies were and changed my first nappy.
My Wife was taken aback, to say the least. I’d never changed a kid’s nappy before, but seen it done countless times. I’m not scared of a little bit of poo – haha.
And that was it. It just… it was right. I cannot explain how I just “knew” that this was it, this is my family and this is forever. Almost ten years later, over one year married – I still maintain meeting K was the best damn decision I’ve ever made in my life.
[Edited to remove some unneeded, personal information]
If this is uncomfortable or you don’t want to answer that’s fine but I was wondering, did you carry your child or did you donate eggs or did you do the thing where they change the eggs into sperm or what? sorry, just trying to understand my furture options if i ever want to have kids.
This isn’t uncomfortable at all.
K is not my biological child, he is my Wife’s biological child that she had 11 months before we met. K’s maternal “dad” left shortly after K was born, he was an unplanned pregnancy and my Wife did not feel abortion was an option she wanted to take.
Turns out, K had a Father all along. When we met, I wasn’t called Dad straight away (obviously). Soon it became very clear that I wasn’t going anywhere at all – and my Wife asked me if I wanted to be K’s Father. The rest, as they say, is history.
Games Children Play….
Our whole little family has been very busy these past months, and now K is on a short mid-term school break. His good friend at school has been asking if K wanted to go over to play Dungeons and Dragons with thier little crew on Sunday afternoons, and last week we finally found the time to take him.
K is utterly obsessed with almost everything nerdy/geeky – we have simply let this flourish. Video games are his specialty, and he also likes to play card games like pokemon and magic the gathering which I find myself playing against him occasionally. He’d never played D&D before, and whilst some of our adult friends play D&D and have tried to get my Wife and I to participate; we simply aren’t interested. Card games are one thing, but we just can’t get into this whole role playing dice scenario.
K however was smitten from first game. His mate’s family are right into role playing games of all kinds and literally have book cases filled with minatures, games, comics and video games. He saw the Warhammer figures and got really interested. I simply said he’d have to save up his allowance for those kinds of games – I tried warhammer once when I was 12 and it cost well over $100 just to get into it; then I had to paint all those bastard figures.
Needless to say, K is coming into his own. He’s developing his own interests and becoming more and more independant. It’s really cute to observe.
Although my Wife and I have recently come to the realisation that our Son is a geek, that’s pretty cool with us.
Today I had to take K to a class I had due to circumstances beyond my control. He was ridiculously excited to attend a lecture, enthralled with the magnitude of the library and kept saying “I can’t wait to go to University!”.
In short, it was probably the cutest thing ever.
A Multitude of Happenings.
I apologize for the inactivity recently, I have been exceptionally busy.
My Wife is now working longer hours, as am I so K has had to learn a bit more resilliance lately. My Wife and I manage our schedules well, and prioritize family time with K each day and on weekends, it just all happens a bit later and for shorter periods during the week now.
K is having to go to after school care more due to aforementioned things, and being a trooper about it all. His schedule moreso than ours has had to be altered because of his extra curricular activities being placed around times one of us is not working, and while he’s voiced a few really valid complaints for the most part he completely accepts this new reality, and understands the good that will come out of it.
He’s growing so much every day.
My Wife and I have noticed his behaviour escalating rapidly lately, his emotions more unstable and volatile than usual. We agree it’s due to hormonal changes – this has been compounded by physical changes as well as emotional then verified anecdotally with other Parent’s. Anyway; both of us grew up in a house with Sisters, and seeing as my history is different from many other Father’s I tend not to be able to draw on my own experiences of boyhood as much.
I’ve been reading some literature, speaking to other Parents and generally just checking in with K a hell of a lot. He’s a Mumma’s boy, but I’m around in the evenings more so I cop the brunt of emotional situations.
Parenting is fucking difficult. There is no time when a Parent has ceased learning, right alongside thier child.
It is the most rewarding, beautiful, amazing thing – being a Father. Never have I felt so blessed.
Ask me things.
Please, I am bored.
Anon is on as always.
transmandad 