This is super important research, and if you’re a trans parent in Australia I urge you to consider filling this out.
University of Western Sydney – Experiences of Transgender Parents Survey
Tag: trans parent
Little K is becoming more aware of things lately.
His own body is changing, and perhaps that’s why all of a sudden he’s a bit more concerned with other people’s bodies than he’s ever been previously.
None the less, it’s a bit confronting when you’re not the biggest fan of your own body, all the while trying to instill body positivity in your child.
Last night I was tucking K into bed, we were both shirtless and in boxer shorts as it’s summer here and quite hot.
We were having a conversation about what he did that day in the school holiday program (kids here still on school break and Wife and I work) – when I caught him talking to my chest scars. I shaved my chest a few days prior so I guess they were fairly visible.
I let him stare, of course. We carried on the conversation until he was satisfied and he went to sleep.
Often more for K than myself, I wish I was born properly.
What a whirlwind this week has been…
I’ve made great strides in assignments thus far; considering it’s only the second week of semester, I’ve already knocked off two assignments as well as keeping up with weekly readings and other minor homework submissions.
I’m using obligations as a means for distraction.
K is finding it very difficult without me, complaining constantly to his mother about how I apparently do things “better” such as help him dry his hair, making lunches and whatnot. We both knew this would happen, in the past when my Wife had to go away due to work commitments all I would hear is how great Mum was, and how much better Mum was at x, y or z.
He’s also having difficulty settling in at school due to different social expectations. Apparently if he’s seen playing with the girls at school he gets teased. This baffled him, because he’s not really aware of gender dichotomy’s or expectations in that regard. He thinks girls are pretty neat friends.
I sent both K and my Wife a letter each last week, and they both were very emotional when they received them. It probably didn’t help that I put some of my cologne on my Wife’s letter…
I feel lost without them both, but am maintaining a really strict work discipline and it’s making time pass a little easier.
Living in a share house with a bunch of blokes is very interesting, entertaining and affirming. I’m not used to socializing as much as I have been, but I’ve caught myself enjoying it every now and then.
I’m alone today, and reveling in the delight of being able to collect my thoughts properly for the first time since my Wife and K left over a week ago.
It’s only the second weekend without them.
Thank fuck for Skype.
I’m back to my regularly scheduled hectic life after a good long break, so I’ll only be on here irregularly.
Feel free to ask me questions, they stick around waiting for me to get back 🙂
Can anyone help this dude out?
ftmdad answered: I’m looking for blogs/tumblr’s by transmen whose partners have had a kid through a known donor. Do you know of any? Thanks!
I take submissions, don’t forget!
If you’re a trans Dad or trans Parent or interested in general, feel free to submit. If you’d prefer to stay anon just specify as such in your submission and I’ll ensure your confidentiality.
I’m procrastinating – if you’d like to help me do so by asking questions or submitting whatnot that would be appreciated, haha.
Third Grade.
So K has gone into third grade in the last two weeks. He absolutely adores school and learning, so he’s been looking forward to going back to school all holidays.
After his first day, he came home a little overwhelmed. Not with grade three itself – but because being in third grade meant he began thinking about his schooling future. He was freaking out about High School and the prospect of different classes etc. After I went through some of his concerns (which are all valid) I explained that he doesn’t need to look toward his future with concern, but live as best he can right now to prepare for his future the best he can.
We spoke about Math, and how he really loves that subject. We spoke about how he wants to become a video game designer, and how even at eight he’s taking steps to make that become a reality when he’s older.
It really takes me aback when I think about the conversations I have with my eight year old Son. I often wonder if other parents have to have these conversations so “early” like my Wife and I do.
I think it’s got something to do with the fact that he’s an only child. I was too for the most part as my siblings are much, much older than myself and had moved out/moved states when I was around K’s age. As a result I grew up being spoken to like an adult, and while we do that with K to a certain degree – we still make sure that we allow space for him to enjoy his childhood.
Anyhow, I haven’t written here in a while but still log in each day to see what’s been happening. If you have any questions or topics you’d like to see covered, shoot me a message/ask.
– TMD.
Topic Suggestions Welcome.
Once again, I’ve exhausted my list of ideas regarding posts relevant to this blog.
I am more than welcome to suggestions, although I can’t promise I will address all topics suggested as they may not be applicable or I may not have experience in that area.
Submissions are also welcome.
On another note: this blog has reached 70 followers. Thank you for your support and I hope you find this information valuable.
The Birds and the Bees Talk.
Read more under cut.
K has always been a curious fellow, so when he came home and asked if “The word Sex meant hello?” as another student told him it did, I had to set him straight. I couldn’t have him waving hello to people shouting out “Sex!” thinking that’s what it meant.
My Wife and I had already explained the basics to him previously, he knew he was in his mother’s tummy until he was ready to be born, he also knew that he came out her vagina. He found this funny and gross.
So my Wife and I sat him down this one day and explained exactly how a baby is made, and what the word sex meant. We did it in a somewhat scientific manner – K is obsessed with documentaries and has a very large vocabulary for someone of his age, so this appealed to him. I can’t recall exactly what we said, but it was something along the lines of “When people want to make a baby, a man puts his penis into a womans vagina and releases sperm from his penis inside the woman which then fertilizes the egg. A baby is then able to grow inside the Mother’s tummy.”
He was totally not ready for that answer I guess, because he looked rather mortified, thought it was utterly disgusting that anyone would want thier genitals to meet, then changed the subject to Minecraft (the best thing ever when you’re 8, apparently).
Since then he’s asked a few more questions, like how gay couples are able to have babies. We’ve answered these honestly as well, speaking about IVF, donors, adoption, fostering etc. He gets very upset when speaking about Marriage equality because to him, if you love someone enough you should be able to get married regardless of gender.
Smart kid.
All in all the “birds and the bee’s” talk went over much easier than I had anticipated. Probably because there was not many questions he had, and nothing that particular triggered my dysphoria because I was speaking about it in a somewhat scientific manner.
We always remind K to come to us if he has any questions about sex, and not to me embaressed or ashamed because as parents, it’s our job to answer his questions to the best of our abilities.
transmandad 