Tag: trans man dad

Update.

~ transmandad ~ Leave a comment

I promised an update a while back, then promptly never got around to writing it. It’s been so long and there’s so much to say that I often attempt to begin only to find myself pretty overwhelmed with the task. 

I’ll do my best, even if it’s only short.

K turns 13 this weekend. It’s ridiculous that I can even say that – thirteen. He’s grown so much, entered High School (!) and is loving having more independence. Due to our rural locale, he has to get up early and catch the bus to his school – then in reverse. This see’s him have longer hours than a lot of 9-5ers, and at first we were concerned about how this would impact him. 

To his credit, he’s taken things in his stride. He adores his campus and his teachers, and his last school report is the best one we’ve ever had yet. It’s such a lovely change to see him enjoy school for the first time since we moved here. 

I taught him how to shave recently, too. We got his school photos back about 4 weeks after they were taken, and in the photo his moustache was significant and noticable! His school is fairly strict on a no-facial-hair policy, and on a whim I decided to teach him how to wet shave. I’m a bit proponent of old school style wet shaving with a badger hair brush, shave soap and a double edged razor. Needless to say, kiddo got a bic and used my brush and soap. He only had to shave his moustache, and he missed the edges so I had to help get those. 
I’m not going to lie, it was quite emotional. My Wife snapped a photo of the process and I will cherish that. 

What else? He’s begun singling me out to ask more questions relating to men, as opposed to his Mum. That’s new, because he’s always been a Mumma’s boy. This is apparently a developmental milestone in kid’s teenage years. 

All in all, K is such a wonderful human being and I am so thankful for the privilege to be his Father. 

~ transmandad ~ Leave a comment

Happy New Year everyone!

K starts high school in two weeks. It’s freaking us all out! The school he chose (yep, we let kiddo choose from a bunch we thought were good) is amazing. Robotics lab, forensic science in years 11 and 12. Actually ridiculous, and I am very thankful we only have one child as it’s an enormous amount of money. 

He couldn’t go to the (only) local public high school for a plethora of reasons, the least of which being I have come across seniors who are unable to read. 
I’m fucking serious. 

Regardless, we had a great break. Mrs had some health issues which scared the living crap outta me (hospitalised for a while there, never life threatening), but Master K was kept at an arms length with friends and wasn’t aware of that. He has enough to deal with currently. 

Our homestead is coming along wonderfully. We’re already harvesting fruit and vegetables from the seeds we sowed when we first moved in. I love fresh tomatoes so very much. 

Boy’s business.

~ transmandad ~ Leave a comment

K has officially entered the stage of favoring me over his Mother for things. It’s interesting to me because I am the “strict” parent, whereas my Wife is the “easy going” parent – she’s the fun one and I am the rules guy. 

K’s always been a Mumma’s boy, not to say he doesn’t love hanging out with me or whatever but his personality and my Wife’s personality are so damn similar. Even in looks he’s like a mini, male version of my Wife. 

Regardless, now it’s “No, I need to talk to Dad about this” or “Hey Dad, come here!” – whereas before it would have been either of us, or his Mother. Now when my Wife responds, he occasionally specifies that it’s a Dad-related thing. 

This is actually adorable, but to be honest has me feeling like I’m less qualified than ever before. Hah. I guess despite having raised this kiddo since he was 11 months old, I can’t ever shake that feeling that there’s just a bunch of male related shit that I am probably not the best authority on. 
And logically speaking I know that’s just my own personal insecurities, but there you have it. 

Anyway – we get the keys for our house this Friday. It’s all we are thinking about – dreaming about, talking about. We did the final inspection yesterday, and when we pulled into the driveway my Wife looked at me and said “Welcome Home!”… I’m not the most emotional man ever but I definitely almost cried. 

I’m super excited to spend some quality Father/Son time with K painting his room whatever colour he chooses, getting him to help me with all of the million DIY things I have planned. My Father is coming to help fix a leak in our laundry and install a new toilet (he’s was a plumber before he retired) and I plan to have K help, even if it’s just passing tools. That’s the kind of shit I fondly reflect on with my father, being knee deep in a trench “helping” (although upon reflection he was just entertaining me… I was likely hindering!). 

Hey there, I’m saving up for a freetom prostethic the 4 in 1 7″ and I’m having trouble deciding what harness will keep it in place. Do you have any suggestions?

~ transmandad ~ Leave a comment

Hey there, 

To be frank I’d avoid the freetom. It was just too large to do anything besides fuck with, for me anyway. Having a giant sausage in your pants becomes awkward and convenient for packing purposes. 
But I found that using tight briefs gave me the best chances of actually being able to pack with it 🙂 

~ transmandad ~ Leave a comment

Here you all go. I had a friend sketch up “something quick, no colour and not entirely recognizable” – this was the result. First one looks like me moreso than second.

~ transmandad ~ Leave a comment

Since K has turned 11, we’re suddenly getting a bit of attitude.
I find it seriously difficult to chastise him and often walk off giggling, hollering for my Wife to reprimand him whilst trying to keep a straight face.
The otherday he lamented about something by saying “that’s bullshit!” – and I mean, it WAS in the totally correct context and I was saying the same thing in my head. But he can’t be swearing like that.
I lost my shit and laughed heartily before explaining why it’s not a great idea.
Bad parenting 101 right here, lol.

It’s not as though we swear around him, but I’ve noticed his friends are starting to occasionally and he thinks it’s interesting to swear around us to evoke a reaction of some kind.

~ transmandad ~ Leave a comment

Hey all,

Apologies (again) for the absence. Work is seriously kicking my ass, and I’ve also acquired a motorcycle so all my free time is split between riding and being with family.

Little K is not so little anymore – we moved closer to his school and he now rides his bike to and from off his own accord. His friend lives about a block away, so he’s been having a lot of fun and gaining independence. I try not to be a helicopter parent, but coming from a city it’s difficult to let go of preconceived notions of “danger”.

So, life is mainly work, chores, errands and family time with a little riding thrown in for headspace.

If you’re curious about something, send a message and I’ll answer as soon as possible.

Thanks for hanging in there everyone. Hopefully I’ll have a colleague soon enough so I won’t have to bust ass at work so much.

~ transmandad ~ Leave a comment

So, our lives have been thrown into chaos lately due to having to unexpectedly vacate the rental we are living in.

Alongside this, we had to put our beloved family cat down two weeks ago and little K hasn’t been taking it very well. They slept together every night, and K was smitten with our cat.

We’re surviving though. Wife got a new job with more hours, and we’ve secured the new rental which is not only cheaper rent, but far more suited to our family than the current rental anyhow.

I’d say with the amount I’m working, alongside my Wife landing that new job – we’ll have enough saved for a deposit on our own little house in 12 months time.

Life is hectic, but our love surpasses anything.

Impending Weekend.

~ transmandad ~ Leave a comment

Work has been so full on and stressful lately, I’m loving every second I am away from the office.
The weekend is creeping up, and we’re all going on a road trip to visit my parents, in particular my Mother – for Mother’s Day.
Mum’s really excited because both of my Sisters and thier kids and spouses will be there too – we’ll all be in the same state at the same time.

This post has been tricky to write, because I’m trying to leave out most details and make this a little less personal.

I’m excited to see K and his cousins play and interact – they’re all fairly similar in age, and K is super excited to see them.
I’m a little apprehensive with regards to my Sisters and I being in the same space for so long together. They’re good people, and we certainly get along but I do have quite a bit of old anxieties when I’m around my whole family at once.
It’s like, old memories of pre transition and they get stuck in my mind. I can’t really articulate it properly. 

And for some reason they feel ownership over my history – they’ve outed me to random fucking people here and there, and when I pull them up on it and get angry they say stupid shit like “You can’t deny your past, you shouldn’t hide who you are!” and it makes me want to smash things. So I tend to avoid them a fair bit as a result.

Regardless, it will be a welcome distraction from thinking about work.