Tag: tmd

~ transmandad ~ Leave a comment

Recently my Wife was helping K move photos from his iPod to the computer in order to clear space upon his request.

Let me tell you, my kid loves to take selfies.

Out of the literal hundreds there was one stand out – K staring deadpan into the camera with a mean expression, headphones on…flipping the bird!
Naturally my Wife and I almost wet ourselves laughing.
Regardless of our hysterics, I let K know I’d prefer if he didn’t take pictures like that of himself.
Damn I had to bite my lip from laughing while doing so.

Sorry I you’ve answered this a million times, but I can’t find it on your page…Which top surgery did you get? (your chest looks great!)

~ transmandad ~ Leave a comment

I know I have answered this before, but upon checking my FAQ’s I couldn’t find it either. Apologies for that.

I had a double incision without nipple grafts. My nipples were removed entirely in the first surgery, and my incisions left to heal.
Once the initial surgery was healed, my surgeon then surgically created new nipples from my skin, while I was under twilight sedation. This was actually amazing to watch, something from nothing.
Once the nipples themselves were healed, I then had my areola and pigmentation of the nipples cosmetically tattooed on.

This way, I got to choose the exact size, color and location of my nipples entirely and my surgeon did not have to focus on anything other than achieving the best possible male contour for my chest. It is the procedure my surgeon reccomended, although they do the “traditional” nipple graft variation alongside peri-areola also.

As an aside, this question is now in my FAQ page located here.

~ transmandad ~ Leave a comment

Whoa, things have been hectic here as of late.

There’s not long to go until Christmas, and we have only one weekend at home before we host Christmas for Wife’s parents and her family.

Needless to say, between work and preparing the house/land, I’ve not had much time to sit down and write. For that I do apologize.

All is well in our little family, though. K is so grown up now it’s beyond a joke – I feel like his maturity has soared in the last six months. It’s hard to put my finger on exactly what has changed, but all I know is I feel very blessed to have such an amazing little man as my Son.

K has had a big fear of swimming and putting his head under water in general since a rather horrific swimming lesson experience in Kindergarten where the teacher literally pushed his head under the water, and threatened him with a lack of Santa that year if he didn’t do it himself. Needless to say we fired that swimming coach, and it’s been a work in progress ever since.

We finally convinved him to give lessons another shot – I mean we live in Australia surrounded by gorgeous bodies of water, rivers and oceans. It’s just not safe if you don’t know how to swim around here.

So last week K had his first one-on-one, swimming lesson since Kindergarten. We didn’t tell the teacher how phobic he was, deliberately. She knew he was an absolute begginer but had no idea just how terrified he was at the thought of water over his head.

Within 10 minutes, K had jumped into the pool, had the water over his head and was doggie paddling across the width of the pool by himself.

This progressed to doing a series of Pin Drops – jumping feet first into the water, arms by your side and springing off the bottom. I was in awe. The instructor is absolutely brilliant, K was having the time of his life and although you could see his fear a little bit – he also knew he was very safe.

Proud is an understatement.

He says he can’t wait to go back this week, and can’t wait to finally go along with his school friends for group swimming next year.

SIde note: I am aware I need to review the Freetom Prosthesis! Had a little bit of a stuff around and I ordered it later than I anticipated by a few weeks, so I’m still waiting on it. Hopefully it will be here before Christmas and I promise to give a good review. I’m taking three whole weeks of around Christmas/New Year – I’ll have the time. Thanks for your patience.

What do you suggest for a guy who’s beginning to feel like it’s probably best to just give up? Everything feels hopeless and unattainable right now, and I can’t keep living the way I am…. I feel horrible.

~ transmandad ~ Leave a comment

Ugh, my answer didn’t show up.

Hey man, firstly I’d like to commend you on your bravery regarding reaching out to someone. It’s often the most difficult step to take.

Secondly, here’s a list of worldwide crisis help lines which you might like to keep handy in case there’s no one you feel as though you can speak to. These people are specifically trained and will even be able to refer you to people in your local area sometimes.

Finally, I can attest that it does and can get better. I have been down many a dark road in my time thus far, and even took a very dark path where I attempted to take my own life.
I am living proof that people like us can get through this shit.

Hang in there man.

~ transmandad ~ Leave a comment

Long time no write.

I’ve had two days off in a row (half way through the second one as I type) and it’s been fairly hectic. I haven’t felt as though the opportunity to rest has presented itself.

Christmas is becoming alarmingly imminent, and with my days filled with excruciating 4am (4:30am at best) starts – I’d almost forgotten about Christmas entirely. It’s been Work, Home, Eat, Kid, Sleep, Repeat.

Christmas is the absolute most magical time of year to have Children around. K is really amping up and it’s lovely to witness. I feel jealous of that “free” feeling when (in Australia, anyway) the school year is winding to a halt and the last few days of school are filled with scorching hot days, class parties and icy-poles.

I shouldn’t tout; I get three days off over Christmas (because I put in for them). Christmas Eve, Christmas Day and Boxing Day. We are traveling to and from another State to be with my Parents on Eve and Boxing Day – a lot of travel for a very short visit.

I’ve always had at least a week off over the Christmas period; often up to three weeks at a time. It doesn’t help that my Wife gets three whole weeks off with our Son before she has to go back to work in the New Year, and he back to school some weeks later.

I am greatful that this job has allowed me to indulge my family and friends with nicer gifts than I otherwise would have been able to aquire this Holiday season. It’s relieving not having to “rob Peter to pay Paul” as my Father would say – to put off paying bills or debts or this and that in order to create the Christmas we feel our Son deserves.

We are by no means where we want to be, financially speaking. But if I keep this up for a half dozen months I can get a loan for a house on my wage alone. Let alone combined with my Wife’s income.
And – get this – the mortage repayments per week will be less than we were paying for a week’s rent when living in the city.

I’ll have it paid off in under ten years.

Are you worried about your trans status becoming known in such a small town?

~ transmandad ~ Leave a comment

In short, yes. But I’m concerned about my trans status being common knowledge wherever I am.

Here, I have some family. They’re very prominent members of this community and well respected due to business relations and town social standings. This is useful in the fact that if shit ever does hit the fan; they’ll be on my side fighting for me.

I almost feel as though things are so simple here, people are so straight forward that at times it feels less likely for anyone to ever out me due to the fact that trans people are invisible here. There is no knowledge about trans issues. I’m not even sure if people here would know it’s possible to transition from female to male.

Perhaps I’m not giving the town folk enough credit, but here I am seen as a short, odd little “alternative” man with a Wife and Son. Nothing more. The only reason people give me and my family a second look in this town is because we haven’t altered our dress sense to fit in – we appear more “city” than “country”. 

~ transmandad ~ Leave a comment

I have been with my family for a little over a week now.

To say things are hectic is certainly an understatement, but I’m loving every second of it. I’ve been on riverside bush walks with K, my Wife and our new Dog (who we’ll call D). I’ve cleaned the entire house which was overwhelming my Wife, I’ve cleaned and sorted out the garage and actually have places to put my tools!

I’ve built dog-proof fences, mowed and walked not only K to and from school most days, but by proxy the dog also.

I’ve had roast dinners with my In-Law’s, played Rummiking until bedtime with family, had a good dozen or so coffee’s on the front porch, overlooking our street. Dog and cat by my feet.

I’ve picked up some odd-jobs which actually pay (albeit minimally, but any port in a storm) and am introducing myself to one of the local Drama/Performing Arts schools here in town this coming Thursday. Word has spread via my Wife that I have arrived with Qualifications pertaining to that area, and rumor has it they’re very interested to meet someone who has any kind of qualifications – current employees possess none, only experience.

I am apprehensive; it’s all about social interactions here. Very very small town, so there is perhaps three degrees of seperation between most folk at max. Everyone loves a good gossip.

My Wife gently let me know it would be best for my first impression if I shaved off my beard which has gotten unruly over the last few weeks. I’ve had better things to do than shave.
I’m kind of a bit smitten with it now, it’s a pity it will have to go.

But she’s right; it’s working with youth and in order to appear more my actual age and not ten years older, I should endeavor to groom myself.

Big, big changes. I find myself feeling a little overwhelmed at times – I want to accomplish so much, and I want it all done yesterday. I am slowly wading through “to do” lists I had made in the last few months for when I arrived.

The land here is beautiful. I am an exceptionally lucky man to be able to be this close to such glorious bushland and river systems, an abundance of natural rescources alongside flora and fauna.

I take nothing for granted.

~ transmandad ~ Leave a comment

I got sent an invitation to do Honors in the mail.
I am flattered, and it’s certainly something I would love to undertake. 

But not next year. 

This coming year belongs to no one else but my family and work.

Update.

~ transmandad ~ Leave a comment

Long time no write, I’ve been ridiculously busy and for that I apologize.

I have two assessments left to complete in order to graduate, and there is 15 days until my Wife makes the journey to this town in order to pick me up and take me home.

I can’t really articulate how I am feeling about it all, because my emotions are so varied. I am beyond excited at finally, after almost three months – reuniting with my family on a permanent basis. I am excited to get work, begin life. Finish this chapter.

In the same instance I feel myself being somewhat saddened by the actuality of leaving this town. More so – the actuality of leaving my pseudo-family. These guys have carried me during some tough times, allowed me into their home without exception. Mostly, they’ve given me experiences I thought I would never have had the opportunity to experience given that I am married with a child.

I basically got to experience share house living, as though I were a batchelor. It’s been an eye opener and very rewarding. What a learning curve. So affirming.
The boys are all pretty shocked that the three months has gone by so rapidly; and the house feels a bit melancholy because of it. I plan to cherish the moments I have remaining with these three guys.

K is doing very well at his new school – the standardized testing results for all children in his year level nationally came back recently, and he is almost an entire band above average in everything. I am very proud.

My Wife is finally getting to do some real work with her job; after a couple of months building rapport with the local community and setting up a new office in the town. She rings me with excitement for debriefs, just like when we were living together in the city. It makes me happy.

The small town has mere spatterings of jobs, but due to the low population; everyone knows each other. As a result my Wife has been speaking of my imminent graduation, and has been encouraged to tell me to apply at several places that are desperate for someone with qualifications such as mine. To be able to use my arts degree in a rural backwoods town is more than a shock, to say the least. I was planning on falling back on hard labor and/or working with my Brother-In-Law with his company as an apprentice.

Today I will complete a take home examination, and then there will be one assessment remaining between graduation and I.