I’m still here!
I still exist. I’m just busy as per usual, so I’ll be more likely to answer asks than make spontaneous posts.
Tag: stealth
outting yourself isnt so bad if you know for sure you can trust the people who have that info. I don’t have anything else to offer as advice as I was never able to be stealth since I started transitioning in middle school. Sorry :(
Yeah, I know. I’ve outed myself to people before – it’s a thing.
Just rarely. If ever.
My only issue with outing myself to this certain person is the issue of confidentiality. I live in a tiny rural town and it would be a very negative thing for my family if it became common knowledge.
do you think that your wife having your child and the fact that you have a child in general (that im sure is assumed to be your biological child by many) helps you remain stealth? or do you think it does not contribute to you in that way
I do think this was something that aided in the begginig of my transition, yes. Before T really took hold and gave me secondary sex characteristics such as facial hair, deep voice and body hair etc – oftentimes having K and my Wife around most likely did help with “passing” occasionally.
Now, though, it certainly doesn’t do anything of the sort. Regardless of my marital status or if I had children, I doubt there would be any kind of – well, anything that would “give me away” so to speak.
People here probably don’t even know what being trans means.
does your child know youre trans? if so how would/did you explain it?
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Being Stealth is Not Being Ashamed
There’s a huge shitstorm right now because some dumb ass therapist is equating trans people being stealth with them being ashamed of themselves and inside the closet and shit like that. He is also assuming that stealth trans people can do absolutely nothing for their communities. This is so fucking far from the truth that I just want to scream and shit out a cinderblock or something to throw at the corner of his house.
- Being trans doesn’t make up my entire identity. Yes, it assisted greatly in making me the man that I am today, and it gave me a certain set of unique issues to work through and various problems that I’ll need to face and overcome, but when I think of myself, I don’t describe myself as just being a trans guy. I describe myself as intelligent, resourceful, patient, kind, and stubborn. Those are the traits that make up -who- I am, and that’s all anyone but my medical professionals and significant other, and anyone else I deem worthy enough needs to know.
- Being stealth is not the same as being closeted. I live in Texas, so in part, being stealth for me is used as a safety measure. On the other hand, it’s basic comfort. I want to be viewed as who I am, not targeted and oggled because of something about me. I like getting through the day without being asked invasive questions about things I don’t want to think about.
- I am not hiding anything about myself. The people who need to know are aware that I’m trans. That’s it. Nothing is hidden.
- I am perfectly capable of educating people without having to reveal my trans status. With the assload of studying and life experience I have with all of these issues, it’s safe to say that if I see people having a conversation about it and they have questions that they can’t come to an agreement on, I could easily find some way to explain a foreign concept to them without having to come right out and tell them, “by the way something whacko happened when I was born lol.”
- I am not ashamed of being trans. As I stated in point 1, a large part of the reason I am who I am today is because of the things I’ve had to go through as a result of being trans. I’m not really proud of being trans, but I am proud of myself for coming as far as I have and enduring all of the shit that comes with this condition, as I am similarly proud of myself for overcoming other extremely daunting obstacles in my life. To have worked so fucking hard to get to a point where I’m remotely okay with myself and my accomplishments, I would be pretty fucking pissed if, for the rest of my life, I could only ever be viewed as one thing, instead of the dynamic, strong individual that I am.
It makes me really, really fucking sad that a THERAPIST doesn’t understand these things.
Being stealth is just fucking fine, as is being loud&out. It’s up to the individual to make that choice, and it really fucking bothers me that people are trying to bash on others who live differently than they do. Frankly, it’s none of your business if someone doesn’t want to be out&loud, they don’t have to be that way to be a ‘good trans activist person’ or whatever. There are a metric ton of things that stealth people have done that you don’t hear about because they’re fucking stealth.
my god.
TL:DR basically don’t be a stealth-shaming dick.
I’ve been informed of a group in my area which is specifically for older men with transsexual history. It’s exceptionally private, you basically have to have an intake before you’re able to participate.
I am considering going once, to see what it’s like.
I am also considering running in the opposite direction with all of my might.
So we will see which one wins out.
Feel free to ask me anything you’d like.
Click here to do so.
transmandad 