Hey bear-b-bear, there’s a template on the BDM form if I recall correctly? It’s just a part of the form they have to fill out. It’s all available online, but keep in mind this information is all Australia specific. And I’m not sure if processes are different depending on the state in which you were issued you’re Birth Certificate.
Tag: stealth
I always want to talk about how great you are, dont-ever-show-weakness. You’re my not-so-secret man crush. ❤
Good topic, though.
While for me, being stealth feels both logical and natural – it’s certainly far from easy. I have difficulty articulating exactly why this is, but I kind of feel as though it’s far easier in the first stages of transition than it is later on in the game.
When you’re completely stealth, there’s a constant fear (for me, anyway) of having your stealthness compromised. That gut feeling you have that while you have friends and co-workers who know and love you, they don’t *know*.
Yeah, this is actually ridiculously difficult to articulate.
When you’re out as trans, people can categorize you. It makes it almost easier on those around you as you’re willing to share this confronting part of yourself simply by being out. You’re allowing others to express a form of curiosity at any percieved inconsistencies; be they related to gender or not.
You give people that space for questions, and allowances. I’m not saying it’s easy, at all – but it does allow a dialouge instead of none at all.
I fear not only for my own saftey if someone found out accidentally, but my family’s. My Son’s.
Now, when I injure myself I am more acutely aware of the need to remain stealth at all costs, even in the ER. This town is tiny. All appointments related to anything remotely needing me to out myself are deliberately scheduled out of town, to remove that “small town” layer. Doctor’s are bound by confidentiality, but in small towns, gossip reigns.
And I guess for me one of the things that makes me acutely aware of my history is my lack of early male socialisation. For all general purposes, I was socialised as female. Here in the sticks, where men are men and sheep are afraid – it becomes an even greater divide. Perhaps that is exaggerated in my head, but it sure feels real.
None of this is even making sense, but I gave it a go regardless.
Internal Conflict.
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I often feel like a hypocrite, or paradoxical at the very
least.
I have been stealth for my entire transition, “deep stealth”
for the last nine years. It’s the way I wanted things to be, because being
transsexual is not my identity and is not who I am.
But recently I’ve begun to yearn for some form of… not
visibility per se, but a safe place where I can speak openly about my history
and the issues that go along with being post-transition.
In a town such as this, where being different could mean
something as small as not conforming to the town’s narrow and outdated idea of
dress codes, it feel suffocating to know that those around me would likely
literally harm me if they were to find out about my history.
I am relived that we are fitting in here so well according
to societal norm, while at the same time frustrated with the lack of open
minded individuals. Not even in relation to outing myself, because I guess that’s
not entirely the crux of the problem – more so just feeling as though I can
relate on a wholly human level without a sense of pretence or distain for those
that may not share my views, whatever they may be.
Reblog this if you’re a trans medicalist, stealth, “truscum” or “post-transition”.
I’d like some new blogs to follow.
Freetom Prosthetics 4-in-1 Pleasure/Play review.
NSFW.
I have used the Freetom Prosthesis for play a couple of times since I received the product. There might not be much new information below that wasn’t covered in the video, but as requested here’s a write-up review of the sexual functions.
Fit with a harness.
I use a Rodeoh harness; it’s easier to put on than most others and feels the most minimal and natural in the way there are no straps or adjustable buckles present.
The Freetom looked wider in girth than my previous pack and play, so I didn’t know if it would fit in the Rodeoh’s modest O-ring. It did however, and I was able to place the balls inside the underwear pouch itself, so the prosthesis rests against me and the dick comes out through the aforementioned o-ring hole. This made the “pleasure ridge” aspects actually function, as otherwise there would be a layer of material between myself and the prosthesis.
Use.
This is pretty straight-forward; it works very well. The rod doesn’t want to bend out of shape easily, so it accommodates rough play well. The silicone skin I have been informed feels exceptionally realistic to the recipient, and the size is “just right”.
I felt very connected to this prosthesis during sex. There was minimal mind/body disconnect, unlike when using other prosthesis which might have to be adjusted during sex thus intensifying my dysphoria. The Freetom just stayed put, due to the undersized Rodeoh I use most likely.
The pleasure ridges thing did work intermittently, but the natural er..momentum of having sex means that it’s kind of a sporadic friction, and your natal dick can move out of the “channel” so to speak. Either way, I actually did get stimulation from the little pleasure ridges. Nice touch.
Cleaning.
As with all prosthesis, especially ones I urinate through – I wear a condom during sex.
It ensures cleanliness and hygiene for the prosthesis as well as for your partner.
Clean up simply entails removal of the condom followed by a thorough clean of the prosthesis to remove excess lubricant and possible sneaky bodily fluids – this is the same process as other men. You simply have to clean your dick after you’re done having sex. It’s a thing.
Overall.
I wasn’t dissatisfied with my previous sexual prosthesis, nor was my Wife. I guess it’s true that you don’t know any better until you get something that works better for you. That’s what the Freetom is for me; a large upgrade in the sexual prosthesis department in terms of realistic skin feel, size and mind/body connect. I’d love the skin tone to match a little more, however having sex in full natural light is something that happens rarely, so it’s not noticeable.
Isolation.
It’s a funny thing when you finally get what you want. There’s always something more to aim for, something more to “get”.
That’s what I’m finding lately; besides lower surgery, which seems unobtainable until we buy a house and pay off the mortgage – I feel as though I’ve arrived at the state of simply male.
Yet I find myself yearning for contact with other guys like me, even though each and every single time I’ve been to a group or something specifically for the category of man in which I reside – something nags at me the entire time and I find myself leaving frustrated.
I don’t quite know how to articulate the feelings I’ve been having, but I can hear quiet echoes of my sentiments ebb and flow across tumblr. This is comforting, albeit sad.
In a town where even gay people go “stealth” – for thier literal saftey as much as piece of mind – this whole rigamarole feels wrong. Ungrateful somehow?
Posts about lack of dysphoria recently and ways I have avoided it >> becomes severely dysphoric the week after said post.
Karma’s a bitch.
There is life after transition.
I wanted to post about something, to make something abundantly clear:
I don’t even remember I am trans/think about it in daily life.
There are some exceptions to that rule; dysphoric bouts, family bringing it up, self doubt, anxiety and depression. But for the most part – I live carefree, knowing I am 100% male in everything I do.
I don’t think about my past. It’s just that – the past. Sometimes people have history they’d rather not remember or speak about. And that’s how I view mine.
Have hope, there is life after transition. And it’s beautiful.
My wife and I are currently ttc and non disclosure was an easy decision for us. To you and other parents: If you were able to decide on disclosing or not, would you have? If you chose to do so, what would be your reasoning for it? Going to the Dr regularly or seeing a plastic surgeon is not uncommon today. Do you feel like it has some special relevance to being a parent or a person in general? I fail to see how feeling like a man and living as one means you have a secret that needs to be told.
I agree wholeheartedly;
there is no “secret” to be told. At all. Disclosure – especially to your children – is a very personal thing. If I had the choice over; I probably would still choose to disclose. My own Son was very, very confused about his own body in relation to my own – among many other reasons.
I feel as though me being trans has absolutely nothing to do with how I raise (or would raise) children, nor does it hold any baring on how I am as a human being in general.
I apologize if I didn’t answer your question properly.
Yes, I would choose to disclose if I had the option. I can’t quite articulate why I feel that way, though, and I know before my status was disclosed to him I was adamant he’d never know until he was older, if at any time.
It’s had no reflection on how he treats me. He still refers to his conception as though I was involved – “When your sperm met Mum’s egg and I was created….” and we don’t correct him. He knows what’s up.
Any other parents want to weigh in?
Is your son aware of your transition? If so, why did you tell him?
Hey, this has been answered anecdotally throughout the blog, but the first two links on my FAQ page (located here) will also provide an answer,
Long story short: I didn’t, he found out and I was planning on telling him anyway.
transmandad 