Hey, this has been answered anecdotally throughout the blog, but the first two links on my FAQ page (located here) will also provide an answer,
Long story short: I didn’t, he found out and I was planning on telling him anyway.
Tag: stealth ftm
outting yourself isnt so bad if you know for sure you can trust the people who have that info. I don’t have anything else to offer as advice as I was never able to be stealth since I started transitioning in middle school. Sorry :(
Yeah, I know. I’ve outed myself to people before – it’s a thing.
Just rarely. If ever.
My only issue with outing myself to this certain person is the issue of confidentiality. I live in a tiny rural town and it would be a very negative thing for my family if it became common knowledge.
For other “stealth” trans Men…
Are there instances in your life where you choose to out yourself to people (excluding sexual partners and Doctors)?
Why/why not?
I’m still here. Just lurking a lot due to work and family commitments.
Also I have no bloody clue what to write about, so if there’s any suggestions – feel free to enlighten me.
Was there ever a time in your life when you were fervently against having kids? As in, Did Not Want? Or did you always want kids, or were you ambivalent or not sure? Did your attitude towards having kids change at any point and why?
There was certainly a time in my life where I was completely sure I would never have children, nor did I ever think I would want to be a Father.
I grew up stating adamantly that I would never have children, much to my parent’s disgust.
This all changed when I fell in love with my now Wife. When we met, I literally fell for her upon first gaze. At first, neither of us saw what we had as a lasting thing. Three days into knowing her, and having spent every waking hour with her since meeting she told me about K – who was 11 months old at the time and staying with his Grandmother as Wife was on holidays.
I was terrified of meeting K. I walked into the lounge room and saw his gorgeous blue eyes and blonde hair, and knew in that second this was my home. My Wife was my soul mate.
Within minutes, my Wife remarked that K must have soiled his nappy (diaper). Without hesitation I stood up, asked where the wipes and new nappies were and changed my first nappy.
My Wife was taken aback, to say the least. I’d never changed a kid’s nappy before, but seen it done countless times. I’m not scared of a little bit of poo – haha.
And that was it. It just… it was right. I cannot explain how I just “knew” that this was it, this is my family and this is forever. Almost ten years later, over one year married – I still maintain meeting K was the best damn decision I’ve ever made in my life.
[Edited to remove some unneeded, personal information]
I have to write an important post about things that happened while visiting my parents, but I don’t have time right now.
This is a placeholder/reminder to myself.
do you think that your wife having your child and the fact that you have a child in general (that im sure is assumed to be your biological child by many) helps you remain stealth? or do you think it does not contribute to you in that way
I do think this was something that aided in the begginig of my transition, yes. Before T really took hold and gave me secondary sex characteristics such as facial hair, deep voice and body hair etc – oftentimes having K and my Wife around most likely did help with “passing” occasionally.
Now, though, it certainly doesn’t do anything of the sort. Regardless of my marital status or if I had children, I doubt there would be any kind of – well, anything that would “give me away” so to speak.
People here probably don’t even know what being trans means.
does your child know youre trans? if so how would/did you explain it?
Click the image to go to my ask box.
The Anonymous Man. A poem about being a stealth transsexual man.
This isn’t me, by the way, I just thought this was awesome and worth posting.
This was one of the most moving and relatable things I’ve ever had the privilege of viewing.
transmandad 