Tag: stealth ftm
Do your in-laws know that you are trans? My girlfriend’s parents do not know that I am and I plan to ask her to marry me soon. Any advice?
I met my now wife when I had just begun physical transition. At that stage, I was still getting misgendered occasionally (although I had been living as male for a while) and I was much more open about my situation, because I felt I owed an explanation to those around me.
So they know, and always have. It’s been a blessing, to be honest – they’re wonderfully supportive and certainly don’t see me as less of a Father to thier Grandson, or less of a man in general due to it. They were of course trepidatious at first, but I feel that was more due to me being a new presence in thier Daughter’s life than me happening to have been born female.
My Father-in-Law literally tells me that I’m his “Favorite Son-in-Law”, and my Mother-in-Law approves greatly of our Marriage.
So I guess my situation is different, but if they can see how thier Daughter feels about you – and you give them no reason to doubt your integrity; there’s nothing stopping you from marrying the Woman you love.
You don’t have to tell them about your history, you don’t owe anyone anything. This is your private life, and you get to choose who, when, how and if that information is shared. Good luck man.
this might be a bit of a weird and personal question to ask so i’ll ask off anon in case you’re uncomfortable doing it on anon, but i saw you’re post that youve been on T for ten years. now, my mom is unsupportive constantly trying to say that HRT doesn’t work etcetc but i want to hear how you feel about it. is life treating you well? are you really happy where you are? if you don’t wanna answer it’s fine since this is pretty personal.
Sorry it’s taken me so long to respond, it’s not that I had any reservations with answering these questions – I just wanted to give them the attention they deserved.
Is life treating me well? Yes. Very much so. In the past 12 months I have really felt like things are finally going how I’d like them to. I graduated, got a great job in my field, moved to the country and have for now at least “finished transitioning”.
Am I really happy where I am? Yes. Very much so. That’s not to say I don’t battle with depression, anxiety and dysphoria – the former two not particularly related to transition, and have been long-standing conditions I’ve had to deal with since very early in life. Transition is a battle, and by no means easy – but I always reflect on the choice I made initially. That is, it was not a question of “if” I should begin HRT, but if I should continue to live. It really was that black and white, and I felt I had nothing to lose by going on Testosterone.
I never thought I could be this happy, really. I have an absolutely amazing little family – again something I never thought I’d have. A Wife, a Son. We’re working towards buying our first home and although it may take a while – we actually have money in a designated savings account. I wake up each day knowing I am absolutely blessed, and cannot believe my gorgeous family would choose little ol’ me.
K is going to work with me today as the holiday care is full for the day.
This will be interesting – lets see how much work I actually get done!
Thankfully I have a great Boss whose very accommodating.
Hey man, sorry if this is rude and you don’t by any means have to answer this, but did you experience any hair loss on T and when did you start to? Also, if so, which side of your family did you obtain the balding gene from? Sorry mate, I’m just a bit anxious and would like some input on someone who’s been on T for so long.
Hey.
I unfortunately do suffer quite a bit from balding. I guess it began shortly after my 19th Birthday – so just over a year on T. It wasn’t particularly significant until approximately five years ago, where my receeding got quite noticable and bad alongside significant thinning on the top of my head.
Genetically speaking, I was fucked either way. Both of the men on either side of my family have the same male pattern baldness, but I really feel I got it from my Mother’s side. Her Father and Brothers both went bald early as did I, and they now sport what I like to refer to as the “Port Phillip Bay” (an Aussie thing…) where they only grow hair on the side of thier head. My Father, his Brothers and my paternal Grandfather however went bald the exact same way, just not as rapidly.
At first, I was so distraught from going bald. I was angry that I had waited so long to be outwardly male, and that I only got perhaps one year with a non receeding full head of hair. I felt cheated. I grew out my fringe, trying to hide it – as was the popular style at the time. It looked horrible. I didn’t want to be that dude with the comb-over, and thankfully I never let it go that long.
Eventually, somewhere along the line I made peace with it. I realised that if I was born properly, I would still be dealing with this. I began buzzing my head really close and kept it that way for some years. It looked much better, but there was a noticable difference between the stubble on the sides of my head as opposed to the top: it was obvious why I kept my hair that short.
Nowdays, I shave my head absolutely bald. I grow hair just fine on the sides, very thick – and I still grow hair on the top of my head however it is far thinner and blonder than anywhere else on my head – and particularly receeded. Shaving it bald makes me feel more confidant – it’s amazing how freeing not having to worry about hair feels. I have a beard, partially so I don’t look like “an egg” (one of my greatest fears!) and partially due to the fact that I may as well grow hair somewhere on my head if not the top of it.
I couldn’t imagine having a full head of hair now. I did mourn the loss of it for sure, and I can safely say that accepting my baldness has taken quite a lot of personal battles – but in no way do I regret taking testosterone.
Quite frankly I’d rather be bald and alive, than dead with a full head of hair.
Don’t let this dissuade or scare you; I personally know men who have been on Testosterone for just as long as me if not longer and they still have a full, luscious head of hair. It’s all in the genes.
have you heard anything about eroticreations packers? they look good but it seems like to cheap a price for something so nice.
I haven’t heard much at all, but there’s a couple of videos on youtube NSFW (http://youtu.be/Qj13C50Ukd4 and http://youtu.be/aXhNMaihoiM).
I plan on purchasing one as soon as I am not swamped by bills and also putting away savings for a house. My Birthday is soon so I’m likely to have a bit of gift money I can put towards it that won’t be allocated for something else.
When I do get one, I’ll do a detailed review as per the Freetom.
Until then, do any of my followers have experience with this product – shed some insight?
A decade on Tesosterone.
So I had my shot yesterday. I always put it off, but I’m getting better. Sort of.
It got me thinking about the process of taking testosterone and how that tends to play out for me emotionally speaking, as the years progress.
Sometime this year, I can’t remember exactly – June or so I believe, I will have injected testosterone into my body for 10 years. A decade. That’s a pretty intense thing to reflect upon, let alone live.
During the first few years, maybe the first 4 or 5, I did my own shots in my thigh. I was taught how to do it initially by my GP, and did the same thing, alternating sides every fortnight when my shot was due. As time went on, I began to resent the medicalisation of my life, the fact that I needed artificial testosterone as I was unable to produce my own. After five years of Testosterone shots in my thighs, I had scar tissue built up around the injection sites. I let my shots fall later and later, to the point where my Wife (fiancée at the time) asked if I would prefer she do it. I knew having regular shots was integral to my mental wellbeing and physical health, but I was my own barrier. I was thankful for her help.
I am now on a kind of testosterone called Reandron. This is a large dose of testosterone of the slow release variety, meaning I now get shots once every ten weeks. This has severely reduced my resentment toward the shots themselves, and although it’s large volume-wise (4ml as compared to 1ml injection) the benefits outweigh the slight tenderness of an injection site for a few hours. If it wasn’t for Reandron, I’d be late with my shots consistently, and that’s something I don’t want – it fucks with my hormones and my head.
If it’s not too personal to ask I was just wondering how being trans affects your child in a way that makes you wish you were born properly for his sake more often than for your own? I’m just curious because I’d like to have a family of my own someday.
It’s not too personal. The way I look at things, K and my Wife are the two most important things in my world. Then the dog, the cat, our friends and family, then me.
Being trans is going to fuck you up, at least a little bit. I expected entirely that I would be affected by my transsexuality at least to some degree. So it’s not surprising then when I feel an intense longing to be born correctly.
But when I reflect on how this has already and will continue to impact on K, and to some degree my Wife – it’s intolerable. I feel intense hate that they too are impacted by this fucking ailment. How unfair it is to see those you love impacted negatively by something you yourself cannot control or fix?
And I think of all the things K misses out on by me being this way. The formative toilet training years could have been…better. His knowledge of my condition and the resulting “burden” of having a Father who is not the same as your friends’ Fathers. The trepidation I’m sure I feel when K attempts to ask me a penis related question, followed by the cold realization he’s asked me something I don’t actually have physical experience with. The fact that I flat out have to lie to him on occasion to instill morals around body positivity, even though I’m not sure if I will ever love my body in it’s entirety.
This is all difficult to articulate, and I’m not sure I’m expressing my feeling clearly enough.
The crux of the situation is; I would rather K have a Father who does not have these barriers to Fatherhood.
But I wake up each day feeling utterly blessed, the luckiest man alive.
Sorry if this had already been asked, but I was wondering how/if your dysphoria affects your libido/sex life? Do you go for long periods of time without intimacy because of it? How does it affect your partner? I’m sorry if these questions are too personal, feel free to ignore this if they are. Thanks!
For the most part, my libido outweighs my dysphporia.
Sometimes when things are particularly bad, it will stop me from wanting to recieve any sexual contact – instead I just pleasure my Wife. She completely understands this, because I communicate with her far before the fact. Open communication about your feelings is key – your partner can’t read your mind.
Dysphoria affects my sexual intimacy in a few ways, but it doesn’t generally stop sex entirely – it just changes the way we have sex for a short period of time. That could be a few hours, days, weeks or occasionally months. My Wife says this doesn’t affect how she views me or our relationship at all, which is lovely.
I don’t really feel comfortable going into much more detail, and I hope this answered your questions well enough.
Little K is becoming more aware of things lately.
His own body is changing, and perhaps that’s why all of a sudden he’s a bit more concerned with other people’s bodies than he’s ever been previously.
None the less, it’s a bit confronting when you’re not the biggest fan of your own body, all the while trying to instill body positivity in your child.
Last night I was tucking K into bed, we were both shirtless and in boxer shorts as it’s summer here and quite hot.
We were having a conversation about what he did that day in the school holiday program (kids here still on school break and Wife and I work) – when I caught him talking to my chest scars. I shaved my chest a few days prior so I guess they were fairly visible.
I let him stare, of course. We carried on the conversation until he was satisfied and he went to sleep.
Often more for K than myself, I wish I was born properly.
transmandad 