This is something that I think about often, because it bothers me.
My Mother has three photographs up in various prominent locations in her house which clearly picture me in either a dress or looking female somewhat.
Each time I go and visit my parents (they live in an entire other state) I am literally greeted at the front door of a photograph of my whole family (2 sisters, myself and parents) dressed up in ridiculous formal clothing. Me in a red velvet dress with frills.
I remeber this day clearly, because I spent the majority of the time throwing tantrums because I had to wear that shitty dress. My sisters both wore slacks and blouses… I was not allowed to.
The other one is the last time I wore a dress, and it was for my year 10 formal. I knew I was trans then, and approached my parents about the possibility of me wearing a suit. My Mother then threw every guilt trip in the book at me, ending up with “Just ONCE more, for me? Your Mother? Please!?” And so I did. But I wore fucking boots underneath that damn dress.
The last one is a year 12 photo, and I guess I look like a boy but every time I see it I remeber the way I was feeling back then, and it’s really triggering.
I’ve tried explaining this to my Mother (Dad was quite willing to take them down) and she retorts with “You can’t run away from your past, that will always be there, you can’t change the fact that you were born female”.
No, I cannot, but I can request that very graphic and triggering images be removed at least while I am visiting. But no, I cannot tell her what she can and cannot display in her own house.
I often wonder what her friends think; having photographs of some mysterious little girl and then a shit ton of me and my own little family, bearded and in wedding clobber…. she must look like a dickhead.
But I know she outs me without my consent. She fucking tells anyone that will listen….she says it’s her right. It’s not.
Okay, that was my rant. Apologies. If anyone has any idea on how to approach this, I would appreciate advice.
transmandad 