Tag: ftmfather

~ transmandad ~ Leave a comment

Whoa, things have been hectic here as of late.

There’s not long to go until Christmas, and we have only one weekend at home before we host Christmas for Wife’s parents and her family.

Needless to say, between work and preparing the house/land, I’ve not had much time to sit down and write. For that I do apologize.

All is well in our little family, though. K is so grown up now it’s beyond a joke – I feel like his maturity has soared in the last six months. It’s hard to put my finger on exactly what has changed, but all I know is I feel very blessed to have such an amazing little man as my Son.

K has had a big fear of swimming and putting his head under water in general since a rather horrific swimming lesson experience in Kindergarten where the teacher literally pushed his head under the water, and threatened him with a lack of Santa that year if he didn’t do it himself. Needless to say we fired that swimming coach, and it’s been a work in progress ever since.

We finally convinved him to give lessons another shot – I mean we live in Australia surrounded by gorgeous bodies of water, rivers and oceans. It’s just not safe if you don’t know how to swim around here.

So last week K had his first one-on-one, swimming lesson since Kindergarten. We didn’t tell the teacher how phobic he was, deliberately. She knew he was an absolute begginer but had no idea just how terrified he was at the thought of water over his head.

Within 10 minutes, K had jumped into the pool, had the water over his head and was doggie paddling across the width of the pool by himself.

This progressed to doing a series of Pin Drops – jumping feet first into the water, arms by your side and springing off the bottom. I was in awe. The instructor is absolutely brilliant, K was having the time of his life and although you could see his fear a little bit – he also knew he was very safe.

Proud is an understatement.

He says he can’t wait to go back this week, and can’t wait to finally go along with his school friends for group swimming next year.

SIde note: I am aware I need to review the Freetom Prosthesis! Had a little bit of a stuff around and I ordered it later than I anticipated by a few weeks, so I’m still waiting on it. Hopefully it will be here before Christmas and I promise to give a good review. I’m taking three whole weeks of around Christmas/New Year – I’ll have the time. Thanks for your patience.

~ transmandad ~ Leave a comment

It was Father’s Day here yesterday (Sunday) and I had a fantastic day.
K made me an awesome card at school, and bought me a mug that says “Dad of the Year” on it. My Wife and K also got me a new axe, which was sorely needed seeing as when I split wood on Saturday I cut my hand on the splintered handle of the old axe. Alongside a metal Chevrolet sign for my garage and a new knife steel. My Wife joked that the knife steel is more a present for her, so I can hone her kitchen knives.

We had a lovely day doing not much – as per my request – and lazing about in the sunshine eating good food, telling stories and watching K play on our property.

~ transmandad ~ Leave a comment

Job interview went really well, I’ll find out some time this week if I was successful. I sure hope I was.

Life here has been ridiculously hectic. Cleaning the old house and unpacking the new one, leaves us living in the middle of chaos.

K is doing really well, though – despite our attentions being placed on logistics rather than family time.

In K’s world – life is amazing. He got himself a girlfriend. Or rather, she asked him out – and it’s actually adorable. On the day they began “dating”, he waited for her after school in order to open the school gate for her.

Despite all the disruptions, we still managed to sit around the fire pit last night and toast some marshmallows, which K absolutely adores (who doesn’t!?).

I even got to sharpen my axe for the occasion, as we had no chopped wood. I love splitting wood.

Update.

~ transmandad ~ Leave a comment

I’m still alive! Haha. I’ve been super busy moving house (again!), working and preparing for my dream job interview this coming weekend.

Things are chugging along quite nicely here in the country.

Little K seems to have more of an attitude now, and we’re getting into obnoxious territory but my Wife is amazing at handling these things so I let her take the reigns.

Anyhow – don’t hesitate to ask questions. I’ll answer them, it may just take a day or so.

~ transmandad ~ Leave a comment

Long time no write.

I’ve had two days off in a row (half way through the second one as I type) and it’s been fairly hectic. I haven’t felt as though the opportunity to rest has presented itself.

Christmas is becoming alarmingly imminent, and with my days filled with excruciating 4am (4:30am at best) starts – I’d almost forgotten about Christmas entirely. It’s been Work, Home, Eat, Kid, Sleep, Repeat.

Christmas is the absolute most magical time of year to have Children around. K is really amping up and it’s lovely to witness. I feel jealous of that “free” feeling when (in Australia, anyway) the school year is winding to a halt and the last few days of school are filled with scorching hot days, class parties and icy-poles.

I shouldn’t tout; I get three days off over Christmas (because I put in for them). Christmas Eve, Christmas Day and Boxing Day. We are traveling to and from another State to be with my Parents on Eve and Boxing Day – a lot of travel for a very short visit.

I’ve always had at least a week off over the Christmas period; often up to three weeks at a time. It doesn’t help that my Wife gets three whole weeks off with our Son before she has to go back to work in the New Year, and he back to school some weeks later.

I am greatful that this job has allowed me to indulge my family and friends with nicer gifts than I otherwise would have been able to aquire this Holiday season. It’s relieving not having to “rob Peter to pay Paul” as my Father would say – to put off paying bills or debts or this and that in order to create the Christmas we feel our Son deserves.

We are by no means where we want to be, financially speaking. But if I keep this up for a half dozen months I can get a loan for a house on my wage alone. Let alone combined with my Wife’s income.
And – get this – the mortage repayments per week will be less than we were paying for a week’s rent when living in the city.

I’ll have it paid off in under ten years.

Hi there, I hope to one day be a dad( I am a transguy) and I was curious what the biggest shock for you?

~ transmandad ~ Leave a comment

Hrm, the biggest shock…

In terms of being a Father, I’m assuming? Correct me if I’m wrong.
I’ve been thinking about this for a good amount of time, I deliberately didn’t answer it right away so I could make sure I answered this properly, but for the life of me I can’t think of what was the most “shocking" of all things.

I met K for the first time and literally ten minutes later he’d soiled his nappy (diaper?) – I volunteered immediately; I knew I’d better get the “firsts" over and done with ASAP because this child now depended on me, too, and I needed to give it my all. I wasn’t repulsed, I wasn’t grossed out – I had no clue what I was doing but my Wife talked me through it and everything went smoothly.
My Wife, then girlfriend, was shocked to say the very least. Any other man that had been in K’s life (as a byproduct of being in my Wife’s life) was vehemently opposed to doing anything remotely paternal in fear my Wife would seek thier commitment. Imbeciles.
Her ex boyfriend literally would not watch K while my Wife took ten minutes to have a shower – she would set K in up his high chair in the bathroom with her with a rusk and a few toys and watch him while she showered.

So; the biggest shock for me was how naturally I handled it all, and how easily it all came after the initial adjustment. More than anything, I was very shocked by how thankful and appreciative, incredulous almost, my Wife was of the things I was doing to try and learn and support them both.
To me, that’s just what a human should do if they love someone.

Kids and Triggering Medical Issues.

~ transmandad ~ Leave a comment

So, my Son is uncircumcised – this has been causing a few issues of late…

We took K for a general health check-up yesterday; there’s a few things that have been out of sorts including his legs being sore when playing basketball or excercising, and the fact that his foreskin still isn’t able to retract much, if at all.

I knew this would be slightly triggering, but I didn’t understand just how severely it would affect me.
Our family Doctor is fantastic, especially with children, and put K’s mind at ease about speaking to him regarding his penis. He made sure K felt comfortable with the examination, and gave him the utmost respect and privacy which was very appreciated. He prescribed some steroid cream to hopefully aid in thinning out his foreskin so it can be retracted over time, and gave K the direct instructions on how to apply it properly. K thought this was absolutely disgusting and gross, but understood that it was better than a surgical alternative.

Our Dr asked my Wife if it was okay if he could show K a photograph in a medical book of an uncircumcised penis with the foreskin retracted fully, so he understood what he was aiming for. My Wife was more than happy to let him see this, as I can’t provide it. The Doctor had difficulty locating a photograph that wasn’t an erect penis, and discussed this with my Wife. She was not concerned if he saw a photograph of an erect penis, due to the nature of the photograph itself (very medicalised) and the situation at hand. K was absolutely disgusted with the photo and thought it was pretty funny!
It was then that I realised he probably had never seen an adult male’s penis before, and that he didn’t realise my body was different from his. Dysphoria central.

Fast forward to when we arrived home and K had to apply the cream. I bowed out of this one due to me already having dysphoria around it, and let his Mum explain the application procedure one more time before she left him in his room with the door closed so he had privacy. K has obviously not begun his journey of physical discovery just yet, but I think having to apply cream to his penis twice daily will get the ball rolling, so to speak.
We explained about masturbation, and how that it’s perfectly normal etc.

So, the kid is doing well with his medicine and is now very comfortable speaking to us about his genitals, which is great. We explained that we are here to talk to, answer any questions etc.

Then, in the midst of discussing this I simply blurted out “Daddy doesn’t have a penis like yours, the testosterone makes a very small penis for me but I still have the parts that female’s are born with.”

He was shocked, and began asking questions which I didn’t have trouble answering. He used words I wouldn’t use to describe my own anatomy, but I understood he needed to use words that meant something to him.

I then also explained that I could not urinate while standing without using a device. I said “When you grow, your penis will grow. As it is now, your penis is already larger than mine – and it will continue to grow perhaps to the size of the penis you saw a photo of at the Doctor’s”
He was really surprised to find this information out! He was very respectful and understood the conversation completely. He apologized for having a larger penis than me, bless his little cotton socks, and I laughed and said “No worries mate!”. I needed to show him that I was okay with my genitals, even though I’m not. Not at all.

After K had gone to bed for the evening I retired to my bedroom and my Wife came in, realising that I had taken this very hard. She attempted to comfort me, but it’s very difficult to comfort someone when there isn’t really anything that can be done.
She listened whilst I blurted out a million different reasons why the situation upset me, including not being able to deal with “penis problems” like most other father’s can.

I am not sure why I am telling you this, but I felt I needed to write about it here. For those of you who perhaps know me IRL, please keep all of this confidential.

~ transmandad ~ Leave a comment

I would love to write more here, but I’m exceptionally busy with my studies, work and maintaining a household/ trying to raise a human being/be a husband.

If you’ve got anything you’d like me to write about, feel free to ask/submit.

I find it much easier when I’ve been prompted with something such as that.

I do have something I plan on writing about when I feel I have enough time to dedicate to the topic. I’m not really fond of being half-assed.