Hey, that’s awesome!
I remember when K was 7; such a magical age and they seem to grow so quickly from here on out.
Congrats on T in April, that’s big news!
Tag: ftm
Sorry I you’ve answered this a million times, but I can’t find it on your page…Which top surgery did you get? (your chest looks great!)
I know I have answered this before, but upon checking my FAQ’s I couldn’t find it either. Apologies for that.
I had a double incision without nipple grafts. My nipples were removed entirely in the first surgery, and my incisions left to heal.
Once the initial surgery was healed, my surgeon then surgically created new nipples from my skin, while I was under twilight sedation. This was actually amazing to watch, something from nothing.
Once the nipples themselves were healed, I then had my areola and pigmentation of the nipples cosmetically tattooed on.
This way, I got to choose the exact size, color and location of my nipples entirely and my surgeon did not have to focus on anything other than achieving the best possible male contour for my chest. It is the procedure my surgeon reccomended, although they do the “traditional” nipple graft variation alongside peri-areola also.
As an aside, this question is now in my FAQ page located here.
Dysphoria.
Being outdoors and doing something physically exhausting has been the best therapy I’ve ever had.
Hands down this is what works for me. I’m blessed to be able to escape to nature right out my back door, or if I’d rather be more secluded a couple hundred metres down the dirt track.
Yard work is especially good, nothing feels like you’ve earnt a beer more to me than slogging away from sun up until sun down on the land.
Camping, fishing, being near water, cycling, hiking, star gazing, building a fire, whittling, sharpening knives, walking your dog/pet, doing something with a young person/your child.
These are things that in the last 12 months have become literal life savers.
Hey man, what are your tips with dealing with dysphoria when you’re 16, your out to only 2 friends who you don’t see too often, and your parents are very transphobic? I plan to start my transition a few months before I turn 18, with my goal of being on t with my name changed by the time I start college. Luckily for me, I have my entire senior year to work towards that..
Hey there.
I went and found the posts tagged dysphoria in hopes they might have some helpful information for you, so feel free to browse through that if you’ve got a minute.
It’s pretty tough when you’re first coming out – there’s much less physical and emotional supports for you. Firstly, I’d like to extend the invitation to you or anyone else who feels they might need it to contact me directly and have a chat – just specify that you’d rather keep the conversation private and I will certainly honour that.
Secondly, there’s a wide variety of IRL and online support groups, especially youth related, that I feel might be beneficial to you. They’re generally categorized by general geographic location, so perhaps try some google-fu akin to “online trans support groups ### area” or something.
Finally, know you’re not alone. There are a lot of other men going through similar experiences, in similar situations. We may not all be the same, but we can all support one another. This shit isn’t easy, and you never have to go through it alone.
Any tips on being stealth and looking for love? I find that being trans and looking for someone who I could spend the rest of my life hard. I am afraid that I’ll find someone and when I tell them that I haven’t always identified as a male they will ether hate me or see me as a female or worse out me.
My Wife and I have been speaking about this a lot recently, probably due to the fact that whenever we have difficult periods in our life we turn inward to each other and our little family and focus on the good we have around us.
I met my Wife during a time I deliberately was “not looking” for a partner. I’d had a series of adolescent relationships that lasted for several years each, and I was finally in a place where I felt I could simply be with myself. I think that had a lot to do with why my Wife and I met; neither of us were looking. How we met was literally serendipity, but I’m not going into that.
I feel like being stealth is kind of the same as though you’ve got any other medical condition; not particularly first date type material but if you have an inkling that things may take a long-term type run, better to be up front about anything right off the bat rather than wait.
The number one ultimate piece of advice I can give you regarding relationships is this: communication and honesty. They’re of the most importance – and don’t come easy, especially with a budding relationship. But I can’t stress how important communication and honesty are.
Stop, breathe, and know that there is someone out there for every one.
Hey. I’m about to start the application process to have my sex on my birth certificate changed. With the statutory declaration is there a specific way its meant to be set out? I’m not sure if there’s a template that the BDM has or its just a statement signed stating that you have had the necessary surgery to live as your true gender? Any help would be greatly appreciated. Cheers
Hey bear-b-bear, there’s a template on the BDM form if I recall correctly? It’s just a part of the form they have to fill out. It’s all available online, but keep in mind this information is all Australia specific. And I’m not sure if processes are different depending on the state in which you were issued you’re Birth Certificate.
greenbaconsmoothie – this is a really good question that I might have to turn over to my lovely followers for some help on.
My suggestions are: Facebook groups, Yahoo groups, Local trans centres might have support groups (this is actually you’re best bet most likely).
Followes – any ideas?
I always want to talk about how great you are, dont-ever-show-weakness. You’re my not-so-secret man crush. ❤
Good topic, though.
While for me, being stealth feels both logical and natural – it’s certainly far from easy. I have difficulty articulating exactly why this is, but I kind of feel as though it’s far easier in the first stages of transition than it is later on in the game.
When you’re completely stealth, there’s a constant fear (for me, anyway) of having your stealthness compromised. That gut feeling you have that while you have friends and co-workers who know and love you, they don’t *know*.
Yeah, this is actually ridiculously difficult to articulate.
When you’re out as trans, people can categorize you. It makes it almost easier on those around you as you’re willing to share this confronting part of yourself simply by being out. You’re allowing others to express a form of curiosity at any percieved inconsistencies; be they related to gender or not.
You give people that space for questions, and allowances. I’m not saying it’s easy, at all – but it does allow a dialouge instead of none at all.
I fear not only for my own saftey if someone found out accidentally, but my family’s. My Son’s.
Now, when I injure myself I am more acutely aware of the need to remain stealth at all costs, even in the ER. This town is tiny. All appointments related to anything remotely needing me to out myself are deliberately scheduled out of town, to remove that “small town” layer. Doctor’s are bound by confidentiality, but in small towns, gossip reigns.
And I guess for me one of the things that makes me acutely aware of my history is my lack of early male socialisation. For all general purposes, I was socialised as female. Here in the sticks, where men are men and sheep are afraid – it becomes an even greater divide. Perhaps that is exaggerated in my head, but it sure feels real.
None of this is even making sense, but I gave it a go regardless.
Personal question. For the bed what equipment do you use? I heard that the peecock can work with play but some say it’s not good. I’m just trying to figure out what’s worth the money for play. Also have you used any pack and plays?
In the bedroom I currently use the Freetom 4-in-1 or whatever it is.
I find it particularly large to pack with, but for the bedroom it suits my needs and my Wife’s needs very well.
I used to use the peecock in the bedroom, but the shaft is kind of skinny and short to be able to be completely “perfect” for the bedroom. That could probably be remedied by getting a larger model, however then packing would be a possible problem.
Other than that, most bedroom prosthetics that I have prefered don’t have any other features than being just a hard packer.
Do you always use your stp or is there time when you don’t? Like do you sleep with it?
If I am awake and have showered, my STP is in my jocks. Always.
As for pissing, sometimes in the comfort of my own home I’ll sit to pee – especially if the trip to the toilet is for erm, multi tasking? ha.
But as for when I’m out and about, at work etc – I will always stand to pee. The exception to this is occasionally when I am absolutely blind drunk and know there’s significant chance I will piss all over myself if I stand. That would likely happen if I were natal male, anyway. Sometimes the floor moves when you’re drunk.
As for sleeping with it, I generally prefer to sleep with a Mr Limpy or some other smaller kind of packer. I don’t usually have to pee during the night, and having a peecock floating about in your boxer shorts is not as comfortable as a Mr Limpy, which is significantly smaller and squishier.
transmandad 