Tag: ftm

World’s Simplest Packy Harness

~ transmandad ~ Leave a comment

I’ve used this harness for years, and I have yet to come across something better in terms of security, simplicity and generally not being able to notice you’re wearing a harness.

I was eternally skeptical, however even the ol’ “boxer brief band with O-ring” is not as secure as this has proven to be for me.

Clear elastic is easily sourced, although I’ve made it with all different types of elastic and it’s still great.

What I especially love about this harness is that it allows one to use an STP easily due to the elastic having a lot of give to move things where you need them to be.

World’s Simplest Packy Harness

~ transmandad ~ Leave a comment

Third Grade.

So K has gone into third grade in the last two weeks. He absolutely adores school and learning, so he’s been looking forward to going back to school all holidays.

After his first day, he came home a little overwhelmed. Not with grade three itself – but because being in third grade meant he began thinking about his schooling future. He was freaking out about High School and the prospect of different classes etc. After I went through some of his concerns (which are all valid) I explained that he doesn’t need to look toward his future with concern, but live as best he can right now to prepare for his future the best he can.

We spoke about Math, and how he really loves that subject. We spoke about how he wants to become a video game designer, and how even at eight he’s taking steps to make that become a reality when he’s older.

It really takes me aback when I think about the conversations I have with my eight year old Son. I often wonder if other parents have to have these conversations so “early” like my Wife and I do.

I think it’s got something to do with the fact that he’s an only child. I was too for the most part as my siblings are much, much older than myself and had moved out/moved states when I was around K’s age. As a result I grew up being spoken to like an adult, and while we do that with K to a certain degree – we still make sure that we allow space for him to enjoy his childhood.

Anyhow, I haven’t written here in a while but still log in each day to see what’s been happening. If you have any questions or topics you’d like to see covered, shoot me a message/ask.

– TMD.

~ transmandad ~ Leave a comment

drakensberg:

Realizing I was trans was like putting together a puzzle. Every time I found another piece, though, it was a bittersweet feeling. I was relieved to find words for what I felt, but I didn’t want those words at all and I sure as hell didn’t want those feelings either.

~ transmandad ~ Leave a comment

Sleep Overs.

K had his best friend stay the night last night, and depite my best intentions this always makes me very anxious. Not only because I am terrified his friend will somehow walk in on me in the shower or toilet, but because we have to care for someone else’s child also.

K’s best friend is very much like him; geeky and full of eight year old energy. They spent thier time switching between playing the Xbox, Star Wars action figures and watching Transformers cartoons. K’s friend is allowed to stay up much later than K (10pm as it’s school holidays for K) and he also forgot his favorite teddy bear so he was finding it difficult to sleep. My Wife was amazing and sprung into action, setting K’s friend up on our lounge with fluffy blankets and a surrogate teddy with some quiet television on. She wandered in every so often and patted his head, reminding him that he was safe and just call if he needed anything.

It did take him until 12:30am to fall asleep, but he felt very comfortable in an uncomfortable situation. I was no good, haha, I was basically reminded of the times I couldn’t sleep and was stuck at friends’ houses when I was a child.

Anyway, it’s interesting seeing how little boys resolve conflicts. I was very proud of K when he abided by the whole “Guests choose/go first etc” rule – for an eight year old who’s used to being an only child that can be difficult.

K also woke up well before his friend due to thier different sleep patterns and simply sat next to where his friend was sleeping playing silently until he woke naturally. Good on him.

Now my Wife has taken them to an indoor playcentre for the morning, then to McDonalds for lunch afterwards and then we will take his friend home. I was thankfully offered to stay home instead, as she will just be reading to pass the time while they play. Whew! Haha.

I need to chill out about these things.

I was wondering if you could talk about how you had your son. Did you adopt? Did you do insemination? Was it a hard process to go through emotionally? I apologize if this is too personal, feel free to not answer and thank you.

~ transmandad ~ Leave a comment

I’ve answered this already, however I’ll indulge again because I’m bored.

My Wife had our Son naturally, with a man from a previous relationship. He was completely unplanned, and the relationship was never anything serious – his birth father left the scene when he was 2 weeks old. I met my Wife when our Son was 11 months old, and I am the only Father he has ever known.

He is aware that I am not his birth Father, I’m pretty sure. He mentions “When Daddy met Mummy” happening after he was born.

Often I get depressed because I am not able to biologically produce such a wonderful accident with my Wife the way my son was concieved. We don’t plan on having more Children, so this isn’t really an issue but it certainly makes me feel horrible. I wish more than anything that the simple act of loving my Wife physically could create such a amazing surprise.

~ transmandad ~ Leave a comment
thatsnothowitworks replied to your post: Suggestions Welcome.
Are you on your son’s birth certificate as his father?
No, I am unfortunately not. His birth father has however asked when this will be happening (mainly because he doesn’t wish to spend any of his unemployment on “a kid he doesn’t even see” – quote) and basically doesn’t give a shit at all. We’ve looked into it and even with both parties consenting, it’s going to be a minumum of $4K to do the court process of me legally adopting him, lawyer’s fees etc. At this time in our lives we simply have to prioritize spending money on other things – but this will eventually happen.

Suggestions Welcome.

~ transmandad ~ Leave a comment

Once again, I’ve exhausted my list of ideas regarding posts relevant to this blog. 

I am more than welcome to suggestions, although I can’t promise I will address all topics suggested as they may not be applicable or I may not have experience in that area. 

Submissions are also welcome.

~ transmandad ~ Leave a comment

Calling out homophobia behaviour in my kid.

K is actually obsessed with video games and his ultimate goal in life is to design and create them for his profession. He’s eight.

Directly connected to this is the youtube videos he watches with walkthroughs and gaming commentary. My Wife and I monitored this at first, watched them with him. They’re usually older guys who use language that an eight year old doesn’t need to hear – so we sat him down and said we would continue to let him watch these sorts of videos as long as he understood that certain words have negative connotations and they can make people feel hurt when you use them. He’s been great, not one single swear word has exited his mouth besides from an accidental “shit!” when we were in the car one day. All it took was a stern look and he said “I am SO sorry, I honestly did not mean that, it just came out!”.

Sweet.

The other day however he said something along the lines of “so and so is gay!” – meaning whoever he was speaking about was bad.
Wifey jumped on this one straight away, asking what he meant by that, if he knew what gay actually meant etc. He knows about homosexuality – is a staunch marriage equality activist to anyone that will lend an ear (8!!! haha) but didn’t actually know what the word gay meant.

Once explained, he agreed that it’s ridiculous to say something like that in a negative way because “gay people are nice people and they just love each other!” – again, good.

I guess we missed the ball on that one, but it’s sorted now.