I’m so pissed off I missed out on all the perksofdatingatransguy action. Boo.
Tag: ftm
It’s difficult some days when you realize there’s nothing that can make it okay.
I’m back to my regularly scheduled hectic life after a good long break, so I’ll only be on here irregularly.
Feel free to ask me questions, they stick around waiting for me to get back 🙂
10 Reasons It’s Not Okay To Out Him
1.     Safety.
- Â Everyday Trans* people face violence simply for being who they are. Outing someone can severely compromise their safety. Violence against them occurs on many different levels, every day. You cannot predict how anybody will react to this information, let alone how whomever they tell will act. If you want to look up some high profile cases of violence I suggest using google and looking up Colle Carpenter, Lance Reyna, and Chrissy Lee Polis.
2.     It’s private information.
- The steps they must go through to transition are legally recognized by health organizations. Information about their status should be held as private information just like anyone person’s medical issues/treatments. This should only be disclosed to people that he says are okay.
3.     He doesn’t want to be an activist 24/7.
-  Some guys don’t mind being in the public eye, especially if he really is an activist. But some guys just want to live their lives, no differently than anyone else. And even if he is out in the public, it doesn’t mean he always wants to be in that position. It’s best to just leave it up to him as to when he wants to disclose his trans status.
4.     Match Making
-  Let’s say a cisgender person knows your trans* friend, and decides they would like to get to know each other better. You’re first reaction might be to tell him/her about your trans* friends status. Perhaps you think that the trans* person’s body might not be what the other person expects, but unless you have seen them naked, you don’t know what their body is like either. And who says that they won’t find it appealing? Or maybe you think you’re sparing them from a negative reaction you’re sure they’ll receive once they disclose their status. But what you might consider to be a deal breaker, might not be a problem for them. Many people don’t even make it past the first stages of a relationship for reasons that have nothing to do with their trans* status. Let him/her disclose this information when they think it should be.
5.     Being trans is not who he is.
- Being trans is not who he is. It is a part of him, yes. But it does not define him. It is a medical condition and not a definition of them. They should not be identified by it.
6.     “Diversity Training”
- If you have an urge to teach someone about diversity and you want to enlighten and educate them in order to help them be a better citizen and a more accepting human being, and to do it, you are going to tell them all about the trans* person you know, stifle that thought. Unless you have asked the trans* person involved whether they would mind being the subject of someone’s education on humanity, it would be best to leave the trans* person out of the lesson.
7.     It doesn’t matter if he is out.
- It might seem like he is out to a lot of people, and that might make you think that it is okay because they don’t mind. But as with other assumption, it’s best not to because you might be wrong.
8.     Rendering them invisible
- One minute they’re no different than anyone else, then poof, in the minds of some people, they’re immediately transformed into their birth assigned gender, or seen as a fake, or somebody who’s been trying to fool everybody. In some cases, to the person told, the trans* persons true self can disappear.
9.     Disclosing birth names.
- What some people do not realize is that some trans* people guard their birth name and would consider it’s disclosure to be hurtful/offensive. For some their birth name represents a period of their life that they would like to put behind them.
10. Whose business is it anyway?
- Ultimately, the bottom line is that their status is their personal information, their history, their story, their life. It is nobody else’s place to disclose it.
Mtm means, or meant “male to male” where trans guys would specify that they never felt female and therefore could not transition from a female state.
Does anyone remember back in the livejournal days where “mtm” was a thing? I was thinking about this just now and I find it comical but can’t place why.
I forgot to care: Important and Helpful Links
Bottom Surgery (NSFW):
- Metoidioplasty
- Phalloplasty
- Your Lab Grown Penis Is Almost Ready (link)
- NSFW: Video of Man Having Sex (Phalloplasty)
- Phalloplasty Procedure Explained
- Pre-Surgical Advice
Top Surgery:
Are you religious, and/or are your parents religious?
I was raised Catholic, and my parents are Catholic. I went through all the traditional Catholic rites (from Baptism to Confirmation) and went to private Catholic schools up until High School when I refused.
I am no longer Catholic, and do not identify with the diocese in any way.
I hold personal religious beliefs which I don’t feel are relevant to this blog.
Dysphoria.
What do you do when your dysphoria becomes unbearable?
I thought I might attempt to create some dialouge regarding this because, well, I’m in need of some other ways to mitigate the negativity of this fucking condition.
Some things I do that usually quell the urge to top myself when dysphoria becomes unbearable are:
- Distract myself. Often this includes doing completely pointless things such as watching videos of kittens and puppies on youtube, watching some comedy or a good film.
- Play music. The concentration it takes to learn a new piece on an instrument is often enough to detract from other intense feelings, if only for a slight while.
- Attempt to focus on the positive changes that testosterone has brought about (obviously many) instead of the things I’m feeling dysphoric about.
- Help someone else do something; I love the feeling helping others gives me. Not only is this productive but it also gives you a good feeling that can sometimes be strong enough to mask any negativity.
- Kill things on Halo/ other FPS type video game(s).
This is only a very limited personal list of things that have helped me in the past. Unfortunately I feel as though none of these are working well as of late, but they’ve held me for eight or so years already so they certainly have thier merrits.
It would be interesting and possibly helpful if anyone felt like they had anything to contribute.
How to make a Packer – Tutorial
I want every person who wants to pack to know how to make one, because the packer I bought was a complete waste of money, so here’s a cheap/easy way to make a your own. (I saw the finished product in a video and basically figured it out for myself, and added a few things since my last post.)
Please look over instructions completely before making as there are options within instructions.Â
What you need:Â
Hair gel, condoms, yarn (optional), scissors, tissues, nylon and bandages.Tissues are good to keep on hand to avoid messes. Also if try for non-scented gel, or your packer may smell like the gel. Mine smells like coconut suntan lotion, so it’s all good.
 Step 1:Fill a condom with gel, note that the type of condom you use will effect size, so unless you’re going for a large packer, go for smaller condoms.
 Step 2:Once condom is filled to the desired length of your packers penis, tie a knot at the end.
Then cut off the loose end of the condom.Â
Step 3:Put another condom over it to make it stronger. It will also be firmer the more condoms you use, two has worked fine for me.
And once again cut off the end after the knot.
Step 4: Fill a second condom for the balls using the same method as above. When filling it with gel, remember that this will be both balls. I pinched the center while filling it to measure the gel on each side, to make sure the balls would not be too big or too small.
Step 5: Using the condom you’ve made for the testicles, twist it into two balls.
Make sure they are at least close to even. Or make one super huge, I don’t care. It’s your packer.
Step 6: Tie a string around the center of the condom where it is twisted, to ensure both balls stay in place.
Cut off excess string.
Step 7:But bandages over the ends of both balls to cover tip and tied ends. (My bandages are very sticky – they practically wax my legs when I use them. Tape is another option but I find it usually does not stick.
 Step 8: Fit the balls into the end of the nylon.
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Twist the nylon around the balls and tie a knot – when you untwist it, it should look like this as its easier to adjust than when tied in permanent ball form.
 Step 9: Place bandages on condom that is the penis, and then place it into the top of the nylon so it rests on the knot. Tying a knot, tightly above the penis.Â
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& Cut off excess nylon.
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 This is the basic shape I keep mine in as that was it is easier to adjust. However you can also twist it like this
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 And using some string – tie it into place.
(also if you put the penis in first, and then the balls, you avoid getting a knot at the end of the penis. I personally do not care as it doesn’t show and I can’t feel it through my pants, so it’s no big deal to me.)
Another option I made for myself.
Since I wasn’t planning to use my online-bought stp/packer anymore – I made this as an extra/option.
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 Using a string and a condom to which I could make my own size penis from, I tied it onto the balls I cut off from the packer. I just wanted to do something with it, since I planned to just toss the stp. I couldn’t pack with it – because it was large, it’s too old and personal – cause it’s been in my underwear, to give away, and I didn’t want my mom possibly opening the trash and seeing a dick lying in there.
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 The only thing I really dislike about these, is you can’t wash them.Â
I made  variety of options for myself. Smaller ones are better for shorts and jogging pants.
Now I just have to make a harness that works for these, as the self made ftm harness, doesn’t hold these in place.
I haven’t seen many people speak about this method of packing. I actually find these kind of packers much more realistic than a Mr Limpy, especially because you can size it to exactly what you’d like. More than one stocking over the top (several stockings) makes for a more realistic color tone.













 
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