Never – but speak to your Doctor about concerns if you have any.
Tag: ftm
Different anon, but still. Did you notice any changes in ability to learn or memorize things? Or ability to concentrate more or something?
I noticed I was able to concentrate more, but I feel that was mainly due to the fact that my internal turmoil regarding my transsexuality was subdued once I got the transition ball rolling, so to speak.
I have not noticed any difference in my marks with High School vs. University – if anything my ability to write essays has improved, as have other academic qualities. I don’t see this as a product of testosterone, more age and maturity.
how does T affects your body type? I’m an ectomorph, and I’ve been considering into going ftm for a long time, and I’m curious if T would make me very muscular, because I’m not really willing to get rid of my natural skinny body. (sorry if this sound really stupid)
Personally, Testosterone did not affect my body type. I’m a mesomorph and was also before I began testosterone, just a little less able to build muscle. In the first few years of T, I put on a bit of mass – kind of like “puppy fat”, it was mainly water retention which my body sorted out on it’s own.
Honestly, if you’re very worried about this you should speak to a Doctor about possible side effects of Testosterone; it’s not a given that you will experience T the same as another person – it’s all down to genetics.
Perhaps you need to really question why it is that you want Testosterone – you mentioned you were “considering going ftm” – this is not a decision, really. It’s something I felt I had to do in order to survive.
If you were on a deserted island for the rest of your life with no one else; would you still transition?
Can you see yourself as “female” for the rest of your life, even if it’s uncomfortable?
Hey Tell App: TMD
You will get to hear my sexy voice.
Changes mentally and emotionally since T?
That’s quite a lot to remember. I’ve been on T for approximately 7 (or 8? ffs, I should check, I have it written down somewhere) years.
Mentally I am more confidant, even though my self-esteem is still dismal; it’s improved exponetially. I noticed my anger changed, when I get angry now it feels much more intense than previously, however I get over things a lot faster.
Emotionally I would say a fair bit has changed, crying being the most prominent example. Pre T I would burst into tears in difficult/sad/emotional situations, often unable to control it. It was cathartic to have access to the ability to cry. I don’t have that anymore, and it’s often physically painful. I want to be able to cry, but I’m lucky if I get a single salty tear.
The other week, I blubbered like a baby – the first time in many years. It was most certainly needed.
I’m not even sure if this answered your question adequately enough, however it was a little vauge.
What do you mean by emotional/mental changes, so to speak?
It’s also a long time since I’ve experienced many non-physical aspects of transition; I often forget what has changed.
Hey. I’m thinking about adopting someday. Not necessarily soon, but I was wondering… how’d you tell your son you were transgender? I have no clue how I’d tell someone I adopted or gave birth to that. Also I hope you’re feeling better after the dysphoric bout you just had.
Hi there,
Adopting is a great option. I likely would have gone down that route had I not been in my current situation.
As far as coming out to my Son, I’ve detailed that story here:
LINK. I also have a FAQ tag, which needs to be updated a little but still has some information. Also a FTMFatherhood tag if you’re interested.
And I’m still working through the dysphoria, but thank you for your kind words.
Kids and Triggering Medical Issues.
So, my Son is uncircumcised – this has been causing a few issues of late…
We took K for a general health check-up yesterday; there’s a few things that have been out of sorts including his legs being sore when playing basketball or excercising, and the fact that his foreskin still isn’t able to retract much, if at all.
I knew this would be slightly triggering, but I didn’t understand just how severely it would affect me.
Our family Doctor is fantastic, especially with children, and put K’s mind at ease about speaking to him regarding his penis. He made sure K felt comfortable with the examination, and gave him the utmost respect and privacy which was very appreciated. He prescribed some steroid cream to hopefully aid in thinning out his foreskin so it can be retracted over time, and gave K the direct instructions on how to apply it properly. K thought this was absolutely disgusting and gross, but understood that it was better than a surgical alternative.
Our Dr asked my Wife if it was okay if he could show K a photograph in a medical book of an uncircumcised penis with the foreskin retracted fully, so he understood what he was aiming for. My Wife was more than happy to let him see this, as I can’t provide it. The Doctor had difficulty locating a photograph that wasn’t an erect penis, and discussed this with my Wife. She was not concerned if he saw a photograph of an erect penis, due to the nature of the photograph itself (very medicalised) and the situation at hand. K was absolutely disgusted with the photo and thought it was pretty funny!
It was then that I realised he probably had never seen an adult male’s penis before, and that he didn’t realise my body was different from his. Dysphoria central.
Fast forward to when we arrived home and K had to apply the cream. I bowed out of this one due to me already having dysphoria around it, and let his Mum explain the application procedure one more time before she left him in his room with the door closed so he had privacy. K has obviously not begun his journey of physical discovery just yet, but I think having to apply cream to his penis twice daily will get the ball rolling, so to speak.
We explained about masturbation, and how that it’s perfectly normal etc.
So, the kid is doing well with his medicine and is now very comfortable speaking to us about his genitals, which is great. We explained that we are here to talk to, answer any questions etc.
Then, in the midst of discussing this I simply blurted out “Daddy doesn’t have a penis like yours, the testosterone makes a very small penis for me but I still have the parts that female’s are born with.”
He was shocked, and began asking questions which I didn’t have trouble answering. He used words I wouldn’t use to describe my own anatomy, but I understood he needed to use words that meant something to him.
I then also explained that I could not urinate while standing without using a device. I said “When you grow, your penis will grow. As it is now, your penis is already larger than mine – and it will continue to grow perhaps to the size of the penis you saw a photo of at the Doctor’s”
He was really surprised to find this information out! He was very respectful and understood the conversation completely. He apologized for having a larger penis than me, bless his little cotton socks, and I laughed and said “No worries mate!”. I needed to show him that I was okay with my genitals, even though I’m not. Not at all.
After K had gone to bed for the evening I retired to my bedroom and my Wife came in, realising that I had taken this very hard. She attempted to comfort me, but it’s very difficult to comfort someone when there isn’t really anything that can be done.
She listened whilst I blurted out a million different reasons why the situation upset me, including not being able to deal with “penis problems” like most other father’s can.
I am not sure why I am telling you this, but I felt I needed to write about it here. For those of you who perhaps know me IRL, please keep all of this confidential.
Ugh, I’m not sure if I’ll leave the previous post up for very long.
It’s giving me anxiety and making me paranoid.
Edit:
I’ve taken down the comparison photos from pre and post Bio-Oil application due to me feeling uncomfortable.
I am more than willing to share the photograph on a person-to-person basis through private asks, so if you feel inclined do not hesitate to contact me and request the image. Apologies.
Would you mind uploading a picture of your chest from before and after you started using Bio-oil? I’ve been looking for some effective scar treatment since I had top surgery and even though lots of people have mentioned Bio-Oil I was dubious because it has vitamin E in (and I was strongly advised to avoid vitamin E by my surgeon). Don’t worry if not :)
Hey, I’d be fine with doing this – the only thing is it may take me a few days or so due to time constraints.
I’ve not heard that Vitamin E was bad for scar care, but I never really did that much research and used Bio-Oil as it was reccomended by my surgeon.
I’ll get to taking photos and locating old ones (this will take the most time) ASAP.
transmandad 