Tag: ftm

have you had/do you still get hip dysphoria? i’m a year on T and still trying to figure out how to manage feeling like i’m always going to have an hourglass figure despite how much i work out. i dont feel like i’m ever going to get muscular enough (because i physically don’t have time to as both a full time employee and a full time student) and i don’t know how to come to terms with that

~ transmandad ~ Leave a comment

I still suffer quite severely with hip dysphoria in particular. 
I have, as my Mother puts it “child-bearing hips” and they are often the bane of my existence. 

I find keeping my body fat % as low as I can without being silly, and working out to accentuate your upper shoulders/traps/back muscles can create the “inverse triangle” look; effectively making your hips look smaller. 

Other methods I use are buying pants one size too large and wearing them lower on the hips than I usually would – this way the pants hang straight down and don’t hug anywhere. I get antsy when I wear tight pants. 

Sometimes we’re just given body types we really don’t like. There’s not much I can do about my hip bone structure, but I can do other things to minimise the impact that it does have on me. 

Also – don’t use full length mirrors if you can avoid it. 

I hope any of that was helpful, and I’d like to commiserate with you as part of the “my hips are rather fucking large for a man” club. 

~ transmandad ~ Leave a comment

Happy New Year everyone!

K starts high school in two weeks. It’s freaking us all out! The school he chose (yep, we let kiddo choose from a bunch we thought were good) is amazing. Robotics lab, forensic science in years 11 and 12. Actually ridiculous, and I am very thankful we only have one child as it’s an enormous amount of money. 

He couldn’t go to the (only) local public high school for a plethora of reasons, the least of which being I have come across seniors who are unable to read. 
I’m fucking serious. 

Regardless, we had a great break. Mrs had some health issues which scared the living crap outta me (hospitalised for a while there, never life threatening), but Master K was kept at an arms length with friends and wasn’t aware of that. He has enough to deal with currently. 

Our homestead is coming along wonderfully. We’re already harvesting fruit and vegetables from the seeds we sowed when we first moved in. I love fresh tomatoes so very much. 

~ transmandad ~ Leave a comment

My Father brought us the handmade reclaimed regum dining table he created for us yesterday.

It’s difficult to articulate just how important to me it is to have a piece created by my Dad while he’s still able. He’s lost all sensation in his right hand now, so he built the whole thing with his non dominant hand/arm.

Once we got it inside (fuck, redgum is heavy!) we sat around it the whole afternoon eating, chatting and having a few beers.

K will inherit this table, and it will outlive even his children.

On another note: the year is winding down and my mental health is kind of on the rocks so I’ll be taking a small break from tumblr.
I’ll be back soonish though.

~ transmandad ~ Leave a comment

I’ve had a ton of cis-male acquaintances in town reach out and try to become closer to me lately. 
It’s lovely, but I am actually not particularly a people person and all of these invitations make me thoroughly petrified. 

One dude asked me to go to the local music night with him and have a few beers, and I literally piked at the last second and made a bullshit excuse. 

The other dude realised I lived five doors down and invited me and my friend to come and hang out and ride his mini ramp in his backyard. A literal dream, for anyone that knows me. I’ve been skating since I was six years old. 
That’s coming up this Friday, and I’m already inventing excuses in my head as to why I can’t attend. 

Shit’s been a bit stressful here as of late, my GP moved out of town and didn’t give me any notice (thanks, asshole) so when I went to make an appointment in order to get a new T script and some bloods done for a looming endo appointment; I was asked to see another Dr. 
That means coming out all over again to some other Dr in a really tiny ass town, and I don’t know if I can deal with that right now. It makes my stomach turn and I wake up at night worrying about it….

~ transmandad ~ Leave a comment

If your message/question hasn’t been answered – please try again. 

Despite my best attempts, I continuously have at least 4 messages regardless of empty inboxes. 

IDK why, but I can’t see them!

~ transmandad ~ Leave a comment

Having to buy a new prosthesis has really made me quite irritated.

I don’t want to have to spend the money, especially on something that I should have been fucking born with in the first place.

Not to mention the high likelihood of it being “not right” in a plethora of different ways.
The whole excercise has had me avoiding making a purchase for months, but now it’s kind of getting absolutely necessary and I can’t put it off much longer.

Boo.

~ transmandad ~ Leave a comment

Stuff is super hectic in terms of parenting and work.
I’m away for work until next week, and miss my family lots.

K has been seeing an OT for his inability to perform certain physical activities as well as his weak muscle tone despite him being active. We’ve known he was a little “off” in this department for years, and have taken him to countless different GP’s to try and get some answers, to no avail.

Anyway, turns out K has a slight sensory processing disorder. Now we have a framework to put these behaviours/challenges within we can start making the little dudes life a bit easier.

He’s fine, just not as able to be physical as some other kids his age. But time spent with the OT and physio is going to do him wonders, and he likes the Drs themselves so thats a bonus.

Regardless, that’s why I’ve been AWOL recently.

Hope everyone out there is doing well.

I respond to asks more frequently, so get st me that way if you’d like.

Re the post on your son K favoring you for some authority on things at the moment (which is I think wonderful in its own way) : I’m not sure if you’ve said before: is he aware of anything to do with you being trans? I’m wondering if you’d broached the idea with him before and that doesn’t affect how qualified you are for him to come to with even “guy’s stuff”. As a trans man, in times that I think about parenting, I wonder what I would tell my kids and how that would affect our relationship.

~ transmandad ~ Leave a comment

K knows I am trans – FAQ here – but he completely forgets and doesn’t know my junk is any different to a cis dudes. It doesn’t affect our relationship at all because he honestly needs to be reminded on occasion when it’s popped up again. 

But that doesn’t affect how I feel with regards to being “qualified” – he still exclusively comes to me for penis related things and puberty related things, which has been happening far more frequently as of late, and I guess those are the exact kind of things I don’t particularly feel qualified to answer, so to speak. Despite me knowing the answers to all of his questions. 

Regardless, it’s those situations which reaffirm to me that he literally forgets my junk is not exactly like his. Questions like “Dad, how do you handle random boners?” have been popping up frequently, and I guess explaining how to do the gentleman’s tuck to your kid feels kinda shitty when you’ve never actually needed to do it yourself. 

Boy’s business.

~ transmandad ~ Leave a comment

K has officially entered the stage of favoring me over his Mother for things. It’s interesting to me because I am the “strict” parent, whereas my Wife is the “easy going” parent – she’s the fun one and I am the rules guy. 

K’s always been a Mumma’s boy, not to say he doesn’t love hanging out with me or whatever but his personality and my Wife’s personality are so damn similar. Even in looks he’s like a mini, male version of my Wife. 

Regardless, now it’s “No, I need to talk to Dad about this” or “Hey Dad, come here!” – whereas before it would have been either of us, or his Mother. Now when my Wife responds, he occasionally specifies that it’s a Dad-related thing. 

This is actually adorable, but to be honest has me feeling like I’m less qualified than ever before. Hah. I guess despite having raised this kiddo since he was 11 months old, I can’t ever shake that feeling that there’s just a bunch of male related shit that I am probably not the best authority on. 
And logically speaking I know that’s just my own personal insecurities, but there you have it. 

Anyway – we get the keys for our house this Friday. It’s all we are thinking about – dreaming about, talking about. We did the final inspection yesterday, and when we pulled into the driveway my Wife looked at me and said “Welcome Home!”… I’m not the most emotional man ever but I definitely almost cried. 

I’m super excited to spend some quality Father/Son time with K painting his room whatever colour he chooses, getting him to help me with all of the million DIY things I have planned. My Father is coming to help fix a leak in our laundry and install a new toilet (he’s was a plumber before he retired) and I plan to have K help, even if it’s just passing tools. That’s the kind of shit I fondly reflect on with my father, being knee deep in a trench “helping” (although upon reflection he was just entertaining me… I was likely hindering!).