I’m still here. Just lurking a lot due to work and family commitments.
Also I have no bloody clue what to write about, so if there’s any suggestions – feel free to enlighten me.
Tag: ftm
I sincerely apologize for my absence, or lack of posting.
Recently I’ve undertaken a new business venture – in effect started my own business and have already filled my client spaces, so I am exceptionally busy.
I’m still able to respond to questions and asks, I just don’t have enough energy to formulate my own thoughtful posts at the present time.
Good things come to those who wait!
Was there ever a time in your life when you were fervently against having kids? As in, Did Not Want? Or did you always want kids, or were you ambivalent or not sure? Did your attitude towards having kids change at any point and why?
There was certainly a time in my life where I was completely sure I would never have children, nor did I ever think I would want to be a Father.
I grew up stating adamantly that I would never have children, much to my parent’s disgust.
This all changed when I fell in love with my now Wife. When we met, I literally fell for her upon first gaze. At first, neither of us saw what we had as a lasting thing. Three days into knowing her, and having spent every waking hour with her since meeting she told me about K – who was 11 months old at the time and staying with his Grandmother as Wife was on holidays.
I was terrified of meeting K. I walked into the lounge room and saw his gorgeous blue eyes and blonde hair, and knew in that second this was my home. My Wife was my soul mate.
Within minutes, my Wife remarked that K must have soiled his nappy (diaper). Without hesitation I stood up, asked where the wipes and new nappies were and changed my first nappy.
My Wife was taken aback, to say the least. I’d never changed a kid’s nappy before, but seen it done countless times. I’m not scared of a little bit of poo – haha.
And that was it. It just… it was right. I cannot explain how I just “knew” that this was it, this is my family and this is forever. Almost ten years later, over one year married – I still maintain meeting K was the best damn decision I’ve ever made in my life.
[Edited to remove some unneeded, personal information]
I have to write an important post about things that happened while visiting my parents, but I don’t have time right now.
This is a placeholder/reminder to myself.
So, my inbox seems to have eaten a few questions.
If you’ve sent a question/ask in recently and I haven’t gotten to it, feel free to send it again.
Hello! My girlfriend came out to me as trans a few weeks ago. I love and support him no matter what. We’ve already discussed some things pertaining to transitioning to male even though he isn’t quite sure if he wants to go through with it or not. There is one thing I feel like I need to ask someone who has already been through it. What have been things your wife has done to help you transition?
Hey,
It’s awesome that you’re so supportive of your boyfriend. Good for you and good for him!
Things that my Wife does to help me go far beyond transition, but off the top of my head I would say valuable transition-related help has come in the way of:
- Making awkward appointments at gynecological specialists for me when I needed my hysto.
- Sensing when I am dysphoric and allowing me space, comfort and time to heal.
- She gives me my testosterone – I take Reandron (4ml of liquid) and it’s far too intense for me to self inject in my thigh – which is where I prefer to do shots when I do them myself. She does them in my buttocks.
- She took care of me after my various surgeries.
The list is seemingly endless now that I think about it. I couldn’t have done this without my Wife.
What do you suggest for a guy who’s beginning to feel like it’s probably best to just give up? Everything feels hopeless and unattainable right now, and I can’t keep living the way I am…. I feel horrible.
Ugh, my answer didn’t show up.
Hey man, firstly I’d like to commend you on your bravery regarding reaching out to someone. It’s often the most difficult step to take.
Secondly, here’s a list of worldwide crisis help lines which you might like to keep handy in case there’s no one you feel as though you can speak to. These people are specifically trained and will even be able to refer you to people in your local area sometimes.
Finally, I can attest that it does and can get better. I have been down many a dark road in my time thus far, and even took a very dark path where I attempted to take my own life.
I am living proof that people like us can get through this shit.
Hang in there man.
do you have scars or did they fade, what do you do about top surgery scars? (and what kind of surgery did you get?)
I have faint scars on my chest which you can sort of see in my Avatar and this picture here (taken years ago).
I had double incision, with NO nipple grafts; that is the surgeon completely removed my natal nipples and areola, and once my chest itself had healed, surgically reconstructed them. The areola coloration was cosmetically tattooed on once nipples had healed.
I chose this type of procedure as I had no care for nipple sensation at all, wanted to be able to choose exactly what size my nipples were and where they were located.
All in all, I am exceptionally happy with the results. Perhaps I’ll get my areola pigmentation touched up, but that’s a perhaps.
As far as scars are concerned, I used nothing at all except Bio-Oil, which I’ve written about here.
do you think that your wife having your child and the fact that you have a child in general (that im sure is assumed to be your biological child by many) helps you remain stealth? or do you think it does not contribute to you in that way
I do think this was something that aided in the begginig of my transition, yes. Before T really took hold and gave me secondary sex characteristics such as facial hair, deep voice and body hair etc – oftentimes having K and my Wife around most likely did help with “passing” occasionally.
Now, though, it certainly doesn’t do anything of the sort. Regardless of my marital status or if I had children, I doubt there would be any kind of – well, anything that would “give me away” so to speak.
People here probably don’t even know what being trans means.
2014.
FIrstly, Happy New Year to every single one of you. May 2014 be a joyous and peaceful year for you all.
Last week, I quit my job that I had gotten shortly after arriving in the rural town we now reside. A member of my extended family runs a buisness here in town, and she was unable to keep up with the bookwork and wages due to having another job and four children. So she offered the job to me, which I graciously accepted. Same rate of pay as my previous job, less hours however in an air conditioned office and I don’t have to literally run to keep up with customer demand. Lovely.
I do however feel a little bit shit for quitting the other job due to the amount of money it was bringing our family. Realistically it was the most money we have made as a family to date. When paying bills we didn’t usually have to take money off one bill to put on another, which was relieving.
I was however out of the house before sunrise most mornings, and was tired and grumpy upon my return home. K was making it known he did not like me working such hours, and my poor Wife was struggling with working and tending to the house on her own.
We have always lived by the motto of “Work to live, don’t live to work” and I was going back on that. It felt as though I wasn’t being a good Husband or Father, only a good employee.
So, new job abounds and a bit more time to do things for my family now, which is great.
transmandad 