Tag: ftm

~ transmandad ~ Leave a comment

mean1mrgrinch:

If it’s not too personal to ask I was just wondering how being trans affects your child in a way that makes you wish you were born properly for his sake more often than for your own? I’m just curious because I’d like to have a family of my own someday.

It’s not too personal. The way I look at things, K and my Wife are the two most important things in my world. Then the dog, the cat, our friends and family, then me.
Being trans is going to fuck you up, at least a little bit. I expected entirely that I would be affected by my transsexuality at least to some degree. So it’s not surprising then when I feel an intense longing to be born correctly.

But when I reflect on how this has already and will continue to impact on K, and to some degree my Wife – it’s intolerable. I feel intense hate that they too are impacted by this fucking ailment. How unfair it is to see those you love impacted negatively by something you yourself cannot control or fix?

And I think of all the things K misses out on by me being this way. The formative toilet training years could have been…better. His knowledge of my condition and the resulting “burden” of having a Father who is not the same as your friends’ Fathers. The trepidation I’m sure I feel when K attempts to ask me a penis related question, followed by the cold realization he’s asked me something I don’t actually have physical experience with. The fact that I flat out have to lie to him on occasion to instill morals around body positivity, even though I’m not sure if I will ever love my body in it’s entirety. 

This is all difficult to articulate, and I’m not sure I’m expressing my feeling clearly enough.

The crux of the situation is; I would rather K have a Father who does not have these barriers to Fatherhood.

But I wake up each day feeling utterly blessed, the luckiest man alive.

Sorry if this had already been asked, but I was wondering how/if your dysphoria affects your libido/sex life? Do you go for long periods of time without intimacy because of it? How does it affect your partner? I’m sorry if these questions are too personal, feel free to ignore this if they are. Thanks!

~ transmandad ~ Leave a comment

For the most part, my libido outweighs my dysphporia.

Sometimes when things are particularly bad, it will stop me from wanting to recieve any sexual contact – instead I just pleasure my Wife. She completely understands this, because I communicate with her far before the fact. Open communication about your feelings is key – your partner can’t read your mind.

Dysphoria affects my sexual intimacy in a few ways, but it doesn’t generally stop sex entirely – it just changes the way we have sex for a short period of time. That could be a few hours, days, weeks or occasionally months. My Wife says this doesn’t affect how she views me or our relationship at all, which is lovely.

I don’t really feel comfortable going into much more detail, and I hope this answered your questions well enough.

~ transmandad ~ Leave a comment

Little K is becoming more aware of things lately.
His own body is changing, and perhaps that’s why all of a sudden he’s a bit more concerned with other people’s bodies than he’s ever been previously.

None the less, it’s a bit confronting when you’re not the biggest fan of your own body, all the while trying to instill body positivity in your child.

Last night I was tucking K into bed, we were both shirtless and in boxer shorts as it’s summer here and quite hot.
We were having a conversation about what he did that day in the school holiday program (kids here still on school break and Wife and I work) – when I caught him talking to my chest scars. I shaved my chest a few days prior so I guess they were fairly visible.

I let him stare, of course. We carried on the conversation until he was satisfied and he went to sleep.

Often more for K than myself, I wish I was born properly.

Freetom Prosthetics 4-in-1 Pleasure/Play review.

~ transmandad ~ Leave a comment

NSFW.

I have used the Freetom Prosthesis for play a couple of times since I received the product. There might not be much new information below that wasn’t covered in the video, but as requested here’s a write-up review of the sexual functions.

Fit with a harness.
I use a Rodeoh harness; it’s easier to put on than most others and feels the most minimal and natural in the way there are no straps or adjustable buckles present.
The Freetom looked wider in girth than my previous pack and play, so I didn’t know if it would fit in the Rodeoh’s modest O-ring. It did however, and I was able to place the balls inside the underwear pouch itself, so the prosthesis rests against me and the dick comes out through the aforementioned o-ring hole. This made the “pleasure ridge” aspects actually function, as otherwise there would be a layer of material between myself and the prosthesis.

Use.
This is pretty straight-forward; it works very well. The rod doesn’t want to bend out of shape easily, so it accommodates rough play well. The silicone skin I have been informed feels exceptionally realistic to the recipient, and the size is “just right”.
I felt very connected to this prosthesis during sex. There was minimal mind/body disconnect, unlike when using other prosthesis which might have to be adjusted during sex thus intensifying my dysphoria. The Freetom just stayed put, due to the undersized Rodeoh I use most likely.
The pleasure ridges thing did work intermittently, but the natural er..momentum of having sex means that it’s kind of a sporadic friction, and your natal dick can move out of the “channel” so to speak. Either way, I actually did get stimulation from the little pleasure ridges. Nice touch.

Cleaning.
As with all prosthesis, especially ones I urinate through – I wear a condom during sex.
It ensures cleanliness and hygiene for the prosthesis as well as for your partner.
Clean up simply entails removal of the condom followed by a thorough clean of the prosthesis to remove excess lubricant and possible sneaky bodily fluids – this is the same process as other men. You simply have to clean your dick after you’re done having sex. It’s a thing.

Overall.
I wasn’t dissatisfied with my previous sexual prosthesis, nor was my Wife. I guess it’s true that you don’t know any better until you get something that works better for you. That’s what the Freetom is for me; a large upgrade in the sexual prosthesis department in terms of realistic skin feel, size and mind/body connect. I’d love the skin tone to match a little more, however having sex in full natural light is something that happens rarely, so it’s not noticeable.

Much obliged for your Freetom review, you’ve decided me on what I’m going to save up for. I also have a Peecock (gen 2) and I just cannot get the hang of pissing with it, but your statements about the extra silicone and the ease of use have me almost drooling to get my hands on one of my own. Thank you very very much for putting that out there.

~ transmandad ~ Leave a comment

I’m glad I could help shed some light on the situation.

Please be aware however that this is only my experience – I have never had any difficulty with any type of STP device/recepticle therefore my ease of use is not the best measure.

There are enough people who have difficulty with peeing using the FreeTom as there are any other STP, it seems.

~ transmandad ~ Leave a comment

Freetom Prosthetics 4-in-1 Review.

I will likely regret posting this, I do apologize for my manner and long sleeves despite the heat. Anonymity is my highest concern.

Here is the initial in-depth pictoral review.

Finally.

~ transmandad ~ Leave a comment

Success in editing the video. The quality is sub-par, and to be honest I became exceptionally frustrated so it’s not as good as I’d have hoped, but it’s complete and edited.

I am now just waiting on my Wife to watch it a few times to make sure my anonymity is secure and the precautions I took are enough. Call me paranoid, because I am. I enjoy being stealth.

I kind of feel like the video is null and void seeing as it covers a lot of my initial written review, alongside it being my hands moving a prosthetic around in front of a camera for nine minutes while talking – thats kind of odd.

Regardless, if it passes the Wife-test, it’ll be uploaded to youtube and then posted  here.