Tag: ftm father

~ transmandad ~ Leave a comment

Happy New Year everyone!

K starts high school in two weeks. It’s freaking us all out! The school he chose (yep, we let kiddo choose from a bunch we thought were good) is amazing. Robotics lab, forensic science in years 11 and 12. Actually ridiculous, and I am very thankful we only have one child as it’s an enormous amount of money. 

He couldn’t go to the (only) local public high school for a plethora of reasons, the least of which being I have come across seniors who are unable to read. 
I’m fucking serious. 

Regardless, we had a great break. Mrs had some health issues which scared the living crap outta me (hospitalised for a while there, never life threatening), but Master K was kept at an arms length with friends and wasn’t aware of that. He has enough to deal with currently. 

Our homestead is coming along wonderfully. We’re already harvesting fruit and vegetables from the seeds we sowed when we first moved in. I love fresh tomatoes so very much. 

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My Father brought us the handmade reclaimed regum dining table he created for us yesterday.

It’s difficult to articulate just how important to me it is to have a piece created by my Dad while he’s still able. He’s lost all sensation in his right hand now, so he built the whole thing with his non dominant hand/arm.

Once we got it inside (fuck, redgum is heavy!) we sat around it the whole afternoon eating, chatting and having a few beers.

K will inherit this table, and it will outlive even his children.

On another note: the year is winding down and my mental health is kind of on the rocks so I’ll be taking a small break from tumblr.
I’ll be back soonish though.

~ transmandad ~ Leave a comment

If your message/question hasn’t been answered – please try again. 

Despite my best attempts, I continuously have at least 4 messages regardless of empty inboxes. 

IDK why, but I can’t see them!

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Stuff is super hectic in terms of parenting and work.
I’m away for work until next week, and miss my family lots.

K has been seeing an OT for his inability to perform certain physical activities as well as his weak muscle tone despite him being active. We’ve known he was a little “off” in this department for years, and have taken him to countless different GP’s to try and get some answers, to no avail.

Anyway, turns out K has a slight sensory processing disorder. Now we have a framework to put these behaviours/challenges within we can start making the little dudes life a bit easier.

He’s fine, just not as able to be physical as some other kids his age. But time spent with the OT and physio is going to do him wonders, and he likes the Drs themselves so thats a bonus.

Regardless, that’s why I’ve been AWOL recently.

Hope everyone out there is doing well.

I respond to asks more frequently, so get st me that way if you’d like.

Re the post on your son K favoring you for some authority on things at the moment (which is I think wonderful in its own way) : I’m not sure if you’ve said before: is he aware of anything to do with you being trans? I’m wondering if you’d broached the idea with him before and that doesn’t affect how qualified you are for him to come to with even “guy’s stuff”. As a trans man, in times that I think about parenting, I wonder what I would tell my kids and how that would affect our relationship.

~ transmandad ~ Leave a comment

K knows I am trans – FAQ here – but he completely forgets and doesn’t know my junk is any different to a cis dudes. It doesn’t affect our relationship at all because he honestly needs to be reminded on occasion when it’s popped up again. 

But that doesn’t affect how I feel with regards to being “qualified” – he still exclusively comes to me for penis related things and puberty related things, which has been happening far more frequently as of late, and I guess those are the exact kind of things I don’t particularly feel qualified to answer, so to speak. Despite me knowing the answers to all of his questions. 

Regardless, it’s those situations which reaffirm to me that he literally forgets my junk is not exactly like his. Questions like “Dad, how do you handle random boners?” have been popping up frequently, and I guess explaining how to do the gentleman’s tuck to your kid feels kinda shitty when you’ve never actually needed to do it yourself. 

Boy’s business.

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K has officially entered the stage of favoring me over his Mother for things. It’s interesting to me because I am the “strict” parent, whereas my Wife is the “easy going” parent – she’s the fun one and I am the rules guy. 

K’s always been a Mumma’s boy, not to say he doesn’t love hanging out with me or whatever but his personality and my Wife’s personality are so damn similar. Even in looks he’s like a mini, male version of my Wife. 

Regardless, now it’s “No, I need to talk to Dad about this” or “Hey Dad, come here!” – whereas before it would have been either of us, or his Mother. Now when my Wife responds, he occasionally specifies that it’s a Dad-related thing. 

This is actually adorable, but to be honest has me feeling like I’m less qualified than ever before. Hah. I guess despite having raised this kiddo since he was 11 months old, I can’t ever shake that feeling that there’s just a bunch of male related shit that I am probably not the best authority on. 
And logically speaking I know that’s just my own personal insecurities, but there you have it. 

Anyway – we get the keys for our house this Friday. It’s all we are thinking about – dreaming about, talking about. We did the final inspection yesterday, and when we pulled into the driveway my Wife looked at me and said “Welcome Home!”… I’m not the most emotional man ever but I definitely almost cried. 

I’m super excited to spend some quality Father/Son time with K painting his room whatever colour he chooses, getting him to help me with all of the million DIY things I have planned. My Father is coming to help fix a leak in our laundry and install a new toilet (he’s was a plumber before he retired) and I plan to have K help, even if it’s just passing tools. That’s the kind of shit I fondly reflect on with my father, being knee deep in a trench “helping” (although upon reflection he was just entertaining me… I was likely hindering!). 

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8:30am – 10:45pm with no breaks is a damn harsh work day. But I at least got time accrued for moving.

Signed the mortgage documents yesterday and we get the keys in 10 days!

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Alright, 

I toyed with the idea of turning off anon asks because of the spam/hate I’ve been logging in to lately, but it completely takes away from the entire ability for those who wish not to be identified asking questions to have a safe space which they feel they can. 

So I’m going to leave it open, and just deal with the repercussions if any. 

K turned 12 this weekend and ever since, he’s had some kind of magic sass about him that is hysterical. He has decided that 12 is the magic “grown up” number, so now he’s actually 12 going on 21. 
He had a great birthday and elected to have an entire day just doing family things with the three of us- we took him 10 pin bowling, had a decadent lunch overlooking the river and went to a special lolly shop (candy store) and EB Games. My Son is a huge self professed geek, and is totally gaming obsessed. 
After a brief afternoon intermission my Wife and I took him out to his favourite chinese restaurant for his favourite dish; sweet and sour battered pork. He even got a fizzy drink with his meal, which in our house is an extra special treat.  

We all had a blast, and it was a much needed respite from the insane work schedule my Wife and I have been keeping, alongside all our “downtime” being used for packing, cleaning and organising things for the move – which just so happens to be TOO DAMN SOON! Haha. We’re freaking out a little bit, but once we’ve got all our shit at the new place I’ll feel a lot better. I have this thing where I must leave a rental in better condition than when we moved in, so I’ll have to do a good deep clean inside and out after everything has been moved out. 

My best mate is coming to help us clean and stuff in a few weeks, and I’m really looking forward to having him here.

Thanks for all the questions. I hope I do them justice with my answers. 

🏡

~ transmandad ~ Leave a comment

We get the keys on the 9th of September.

They originally wanted it to be the 2nd of September- which is actually our 4th wedding anniversary (ohh, it’s a ~sign~) but we needed that few extra days of leeway so I can take some Annual Leave at work and actually physically move our stuff.

I’m still in awe that this is happening.

All K cares about is that we said he can get a cat once we’re in our own place, and he can paint his room any colour he likes. Haha, priorities.