K turns 12 on Saturday and that blows my mind!
Tag: ftm dad
Update.
Long time, no actual update hey?
When time stretches between updates, I feel guilty. Like I owe this blog an explanation.
Life as a Dad is still going strong – K is turning 12 this month and boy, can we tell! Emotional rollercoaster is an understatement. We’re constantly having big chats, allowing him to become the master of his own actions/reactions while gently steering him toward stronger emotional intelligence. It’s a big thing – especially when on occasion I don’t feel like I have my shit together, emotionally speaking! haha.
Major dramas with regard to friendship circles, sorting out social hierarchies and navigating hormones alongside the looming High School thing has K on edge a lot. Family time helps, but we’re noticing he’s electing to do “his own thing” a lot more these days.
My favorite time is when we get up in the mornings, I’ll go and make my Wife and I coffee and by the time I come back, K is usually snuggled in our bed alongside our (rather large) dog and my Wife, happily chatting and snuggling.
I feel blessed to still have these moments with him, while he still thinks we’re the bee’s knees haha. He’s such an amazing human.
So yeah, we bought a house. It’s terrifying and exciting all at once and I’m just about frozen with fear. We move in a month and the rental is currently scattered with boxes and cleaning supplies, with a few boxes already sealed up and labelled. My Wife is like a well oiled machine with regard to moving; she’s done it so many times.
To (almost) have ticked off the entire reason why we moved rurally is mind blowing. Our property backs onto bushland and a creek, and it’s ¼ of an acre of land so enough to have a few chooks and a nice large vegetable patch. Exactly what we were aiming for.
Just working my ass off to pay for it, and managing my own insecurities/depression/anxiety, whilst trying to be the best Husband and Father I possibly can be.
We’re going to K’s high school induction next week. He’s still in primary school currently, but applications start this year and the induction is compulsory.
It’s freaking us all out, I think!
Schools around here are lacking, to put it mildly. We’ve been researching for years and have settled on a private school out of area, which is interesting as both my Wife and I were educated publicly (me only in high school) and we don’t particularly value the religious elements of private institutions here.
Nevertheless, this school has amazing curriculum that aligns with K’s interest areas, fantastic facilities and a really good national and anecdotal ranking.
It’s also hella competitive and expensive.
K is busy experiencing all of the emotions that come with entering puberty, finishing a chapter of education and embarking on a whole new stage of life. Naturally we’ve had lengthy discussions around his fears and other concerns. We reckon his feelings are pretty damn normal – this is an intense time in anyone’s life.
So…that’s a tiny portion of what’s been going on for my little family lately. My Wife and I often sit back and discuss how thankful we are for having found one another, and marvel at our wealth of love.
I’m one lucky man and I am so grateful.
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My Wife’s niece’s Birthday Party is today.
The kids are amazing and adorable; but my Wife’s family actively dislikes both my Wife and I. We’re too “outside the box” with ideas, politics and everything else for them.
It’s super awkward; but it’s about the kids today.
Not particularly looking forward to it, I must say.
I got given some sketches that are beyond phenomenal from an exceptionally talented artist friend – of “me”.
They’re not exactly of me, but close enough for me to have held onto them for a week without posting.
I feel bad, because they’re great illustrations. I just need to get over my trepidation and post them.
Recently my Wife was helping K move photos from his iPod to the computer in order to clear space upon his request.
Let me tell you, my kid loves to take selfies.
Out of the literal hundreds there was one stand out – K staring deadpan into the camera with a mean expression, headphones on…flipping the bird!
Naturally my Wife and I almost wet ourselves laughing.
Regardless of our hysterics, I let K know I’d prefer if he didn’t take pictures like that of himself.
Damn I had to bite my lip from laughing while doing so.
Also just briefly; y’all are going to make me solve that cryptic-selfie issue sooner than anticipated. Thanks for the follows, hope I can make it worth your while.
I’m a trans dad as well, I was wondering if your son has any contact with his biological father. My wife & I are currently going through a custody battle, my son’s biological father has never been in the picture & now he suddenly wants to be apart of my son’s life.. He is now 5 years old. It’s really taking a toll on me. Do you have any advice?
I am so very sorry to hear this is happening for you and your Wife. I sincerely do not know what I would do in your situation.
We are ‘lucky’ in the fact that K’s biological Father has, despite us giving him every invitation, never expressed any desire to visit K let alone have custody of him. He left the scene when K was 2 weeks old, and has been given ample opportunity every year to have visitation, or simply hang out with us present. He has only ever contacted us to find out how he could stop paying child support for a “child I never see anyway”.
It also is aided by the fact that even with two amicable parties, it costs a significant amount to go through the court system and arrange these things here – and K’s biological Father has been unemployed for the duration of K’s life thus far so he could not afford to go down this route.
My advice to you is although this is painful, do not negate the importance of you in your Son’s life. Despite the reality of you not being his “biological” Father, it seems as though you have been present for a good portion of his life, if not moreso than his bio Father. This should all be taken into consideration by the courts during the process.
Good luck, and my heart goes out to you.
Hi, I’m also a trans dad. I have a 7 years old and he knows I’m trans. I’m 26, but pre-everything. Looking forward to testosterone in april and hearing from you ^-^
Hey, that’s awesome!
I remember when K was 7; such a magical age and they seem to grow so quickly from here on out.
Congrats on T in April, that’s big news!
transmandad 