How do you feel about people that “identify” as trans*?

I disagree with it, because I don’t really feel like being born in the wrong body is an identity – but I don’t have any right to say that how someone feels is wrong.

I am not so sure as to why someone would want to identify as trans; there’s a lot of negative connotations with that label and if you’re seeking it for the label itself it’s kind of missing the point of why people feel they need transition entirely.

But, in short – I don’t feel anything toward those that “identify” as trans. I disagree with them, but I honestly do not care what others choose to identify as. Who am I to devalue thier own perspectives of themselves?

But I can disagree.

Edit: I also disagree with the asterisk at the end of trans, and my feelings about this echo those above.
I wonder if you were really wanting to know if I am truscum or not. According to the defenition; I am truscum due to my belief that transsexualism is a medical condition.

How tall are you? Do you ever get dysphoria over height and how do you overcome it if so?

I’m about 5’2” I think, or around 160cm tall. I do get very dysphoric about my height, especially because my Wife is quite a few inches taller than myself, and our Son is likely to be taller than the both of us at this rate.
I’m not sure how I handle it; I guess I rationalize it by allowing myself to remember that there are men who are much shorter than me, and I should feel lucky to just be an “average” short guy.

Old Photographs.

This is something that I think about often, because it bothers me.
My Mother has three photographs up in various prominent locations in her house which clearly picture me in either a dress or looking female somewhat.

Each time I go and visit my parents (they live in an entire other state) I am literally greeted at the front door of a photograph of my whole family (2 sisters, myself and parents) dressed up in ridiculous formal clothing. Me in a red velvet dress with frills.

I remeber this day clearly, because I spent the majority of the time throwing tantrums because I had to wear that shitty dress. My sisters both wore slacks and blouses… I was not allowed to.

The other one is the last time I wore a dress, and it was for my year 10 formal. I knew I was trans then, and approached my parents about the possibility of me wearing a suit. My Mother then threw every guilt trip in the book at me, ending up with “Just ONCE more, for me? Your Mother? Please!?” And so I did. But I wore fucking boots underneath that damn dress.

The last one is a year 12 photo, and I guess I look like a boy but every time I see it I remeber the way I was feeling back then, and it’s really triggering.

I’ve tried explaining this to my Mother (Dad was quite willing to take them down) and she retorts with “You can’t run away from your past, that will always be there, you can’t change the fact that you were born female”.

No, I cannot, but I can request that very graphic and triggering images be removed at least while I am visiting. But no, I cannot tell her what she can and cannot display in her own house.

I often wonder what her friends think; having photographs of some mysterious little girl and then a shit ton of me and my own little family, bearded and in wedding clobber…. she must look like a dickhead.
But I know she outs me without my consent. She fucking tells anyone that will listen….she says it’s her right. It’s not.

Okay, that was my rant. Apologies. If anyone has any idea on how to approach this, I would appreciate advice.

pokemontrainermax:

I’m curious. You know how they say hair grows back faster and darker the more often you shave… Is that true for facial hair for pre-T? Or would I just be wasting my time if I started shaving?

Regardless of being trans or not, this is simply just a fallacy. Shaving does not cause hair to grow back darker or thicker.
Here’s a link explaining it, but basically hair feels tougher and thicker after it’s cut simply by the act of the cutting itself.

My friend told me that it’s easier to hide your chest with a backbrace as opposed to a binder. I don’t exactly have a lot of money, and backbraces are cheaper than binders. Is it a bad idea to wear a backbrace for binding? I’m worried that it could have bad effects.

Here’s some information from Nick’s blog on the matter: Here and Here.

——

I do feel as though a back brace might restrict your breathing/compress your rib cage too much. Basically if you can’t breathe or feel your ribs hurting – it’s far too tight. I would always err on the side of caution; this is your body and health we are talking about. Use a proper binder.

I never used anything other than really small sports bras or underworks binders.

Once again folks, feel free to answer this too!

i have a really big chest (DD size) and nothing can make it flat. i dont have money for surgery and im at the end of my rope, metaphorically and, it seems, soon to be literally. what do i do…

I’m really sorry to hear this and I can sympathize, I was in a similar situation although not quite as big chested as you.

I’m assuming you’ve tried various types of binders, layering etc? If none of that even helped at all, I really feel for you. For what it’s worth; I used an underworks double front compression back in the day, used to grab my chest and pull it out toward my armpits and down at the same time, then fold the lower half of the double binder back up onto itself. The last step I found was really the key in getting me to look flatter. I then put a singlet (tank) over the top and whatever shirt I was going to wear that day.

Please please try not to bind too tightly, you can seriously damage yourself and your future surgery results. I know it can be tempting especially when you are big chested and it’s not working – but please keep that in mind.

As for money ideas, I’m all for raising money by selling unwanted things on ebay, trading talents for cash such as artwork etc, creating a small buisness. I eventually fell into a credit card which was the only way I was able to afford surgery, but I highly suggest avoiding this at all costs. I’m still paying it off to this day.

Do any followers have anything they’d like to chip in?
I hope things get better, anon.

I’m trans-stepfather to an 3 1/2 year old boy. I’m not on hormones yet, and I’m just out to my family and my girlfriend family, and a few friends. My little boy knows I’m a man but still use my birth name since I’m not out to everybody so that would just confuse him. Planing to come out to everybody soon. If you have some advice about that expecially for my coworkers who er 90% closed minded men? I work as a welder in very mens dominated workplace, so these are the only people I’m “scared” to co

Hey,

Coming out is really tough, so congrats for making that really big decision. There are a few sparse links dedicated to coming out that can be found here but I’m not sure if they’d be useful to you or not.
I can understand why you’d be scared to come out to co-workers in the environment you work in, those blokes can be pretty blunt and tactless when it comes to digesting issues they aren’t familiar with.
I think the best thing to do would be to approach your manager or supervisor and have them help you figure out the best way to deal with coming out to co-workers.

One thing I can tell you is that coming out as trans was probably one of the most difficult things I’ve ever had to do in my life, but it was exponentially worth it.

Good luck!

Hormones.

Things have been turbulent recently for our family due to many things changing in our lives, so I’ve not been as attentive with this blog and for that I apologize. I am also mobile blogging so I apologize in advance for any errors.

K is going through a lot of changes recently alongside the ones we face together as a family, mainly due to a disrupted schedule and more recently – hormones. He’s been having a bit of difficulty controlling his temper, trouble with friends at school having disagreements and generally being a lot more obstinate at home. I’ve heard lines such as “you can’t tame me!” which while are endearing coming from the mouth of an eight year old are still somewhat out of character.

My Wife and I continue to create an environment which clear lines of communication can be had and despite his recent troubles he is being an absolute champ with the new changes that are taking place.

I’m really proud of him, and remind him of that regularly.

A Multitude of Happenings.

I apologize for the inactivity recently, I have been exceptionally busy.
My Wife is now working longer hours, as am I so K has had to learn a bit more resilliance lately. My Wife and I manage our schedules well, and prioritize family time with K each day and on weekends, it just all happens a bit later and for shorter periods during the week now.

K is having to go to after school care more due to aforementioned things, and being a trooper about it all. His schedule moreso than ours has had to be altered because of his extra curricular activities being placed around times one of us is not working, and while he’s voiced a few really valid complaints for the most part he completely accepts this new reality, and understands the good that will come out of it.

He’s growing so much every day.

My Wife and I have noticed his behaviour escalating rapidly lately, his emotions more unstable and volatile than usual. We agree it’s due to hormonal changes – this has been compounded by physical changes as well as emotional then verified anecdotally with other Parent’s. Anyway; both of us grew up in a house with Sisters, and seeing as my history is different from many other Father’s I tend not to be able to draw on my own experiences of boyhood as much.

I’ve been reading some literature, speaking to other Parents and generally just checking in with K a hell of a lot. He’s a Mumma’s boy, but I’m around in the evenings more so I cop the brunt of emotional situations.

Parenting is fucking difficult. There is no time when a Parent has ceased learning, right alongside thier child.

It is the most rewarding, beautiful, amazing thing – being a Father. Never have I felt so blessed.