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Tag: f2m
Long time no write.
I’ve had two days off in a row (half way through the second one as I type) and it’s been fairly hectic. I haven’t felt as though the opportunity to rest has presented itself.
Christmas is becoming alarmingly imminent, and with my days filled with excruciating 4am (4:30am at best) starts – I’d almost forgotten about Christmas entirely. It’s been Work, Home, Eat, Kid, Sleep, Repeat.
Christmas is the absolute most magical time of year to have Children around. K is really amping up and it’s lovely to witness. I feel jealous of that “free” feeling when (in Australia, anyway) the school year is winding to a halt and the last few days of school are filled with scorching hot days, class parties and icy-poles.
I shouldn’t tout; I get three days off over Christmas (because I put in for them). Christmas Eve, Christmas Day and Boxing Day. We are traveling to and from another State to be with my Parents on Eve and Boxing Day – a lot of travel for a very short visit.
I’ve always had at least a week off over the Christmas period; often up to three weeks at a time. It doesn’t help that my Wife gets three whole weeks off with our Son before she has to go back to work in the New Year, and he back to school some weeks later.
I am greatful that this job has allowed me to indulge my family and friends with nicer gifts than I otherwise would have been able to aquire this Holiday season. It’s relieving not having to “rob Peter to pay Paul” as my Father would say – to put off paying bills or debts or this and that in order to create the Christmas we feel our Son deserves.
We are by no means where we want to be, financially speaking. But if I keep this up for a half dozen months I can get a loan for a house on my wage alone. Let alone combined with my Wife’s income.
And – get this – the mortage repayments per week will be less than we were paying for a week’s rent when living in the city.
I’ll have it paid off in under ten years.
Hey dude, awesome page. I will be following as I plan to be a dad some day and it’s nice to see someone going through that process as a trans man before me! I just got one of the new tsw stp packers and like it better than my peecock (which felt cheap and broke)… Check out my page if ya like :)
Hey, thanks for the kind words – glad this blog is useful to some.
I also appreciate the recommendation regarding the TSW STP; but I’m not currently in the market for a new STP.
I’ve had my current Generation 1 Peecock for approximately 4 years, using it every single day and it’s only recently begun to wear away and begin to break – not really even break just more wear away from friction. Four years of continual use has far exceeded the lifespan I thought the product would originally have, so I haven’t really had anything negative to say with regards to the longevity of my particular Peecock. They do however leave something to be desired in terms of realism – but that’s a compromise I’m willing to take as it does what I want it to in all other areas.
Edit:
I just researched the TSW STP’s and unfortunately the reason I’m so enamored with the Peecock is it’s 3-in-1 ability to become a hard prosthetic without having to switch “equipment”. The ease of use for an STP and/or packer is simply a bonus for me.
The fact the you have a child who yes is not biologically yours but clearly loves you more than anything is a gift onto itself. My wife and I are going through the insemination process. I put my surgeries aside so we could afford it and although yes this child is not biologically “mine”, I am still her father and always will be. You seem life the kindest and most loving man and your son is extremely lucky to have you and your wife as parents. I aspire to be a father like you.
Words cannot express the deep gratitude I have for your kind words, Anon.
Best of luck with the insemination process and your child.
How did you become a dad ?
Hey,
My Wife already had given birth to our Son 11 months before I came into their lives.
For a more detailed account, you can find a previous post here.
Are you worried about your trans status becoming known in such a small town?
In short, yes. But I’m concerned about my trans status being common knowledge wherever I am.
Here, I have some family. They’re very prominent members of this community and well respected due to business relations and town social standings. This is useful in the fact that if shit ever does hit the fan; they’ll be on my side fighting for me.
I almost feel as though things are so simple here, people are so straight forward that at times it feels less likely for anyone to ever out me due to the fact that trans people are invisible here. There is no knowledge about trans issues. I’m not even sure if people here would know it’s possible to transition from female to male.
Perhaps I’m not giving the town folk enough credit, but here I am seen as a short, odd little “alternative” man with a Wife and Son. Nothing more. The only reason people give me and my family a second look in this town is because we haven’t altered our dress sense to fit in – we appear more “city” than “country”.
So, in-between being a Father and Husband again, before I become employed full-time – I’ll have a few spare hours each day to answer any questions.
If you’ve been wanting to ask things, now is the time they are far more likely to get answered promptly.
Ask here. As always, anonymous is enabled.
I have been with my family for a little over a week now.
To say things are hectic is certainly an understatement, but I’m loving every second of it. I’ve been on riverside bush walks with K, my Wife and our new Dog (who we’ll call D). I’ve cleaned the entire house which was overwhelming my Wife, I’ve cleaned and sorted out the garage and actually have places to put my tools!
I’ve built dog-proof fences, mowed and walked not only K to and from school most days, but by proxy the dog also.
I’ve had roast dinners with my In-Law’s, played Rummiking until bedtime with family, had a good dozen or so coffee’s on the front porch, overlooking our street. Dog and cat by my feet.
I’ve picked up some odd-jobs which actually pay (albeit minimally, but any port in a storm) and am introducing myself to one of the local Drama/Performing Arts schools here in town this coming Thursday. Word has spread via my Wife that I have arrived with Qualifications pertaining to that area, and rumor has it they’re very interested to meet someone who has any kind of qualifications – current employees possess none, only experience.
I am apprehensive; it’s all about social interactions here. Very very small town, so there is perhaps three degrees of seperation between most folk at max. Everyone loves a good gossip.
My Wife gently let me know it would be best for my first impression if I shaved off my beard which has gotten unruly over the last few weeks. I’ve had better things to do than shave.
I’m kind of a bit smitten with it now, it’s a pity it will have to go.
But she’s right; it’s working with youth and in order to appear more my actual age and not ten years older, I should endeavor to groom myself.
Big, big changes. I find myself feeling a little overwhelmed at times – I want to accomplish so much, and I want it all done yesterday. I am slowly wading through “to do” lists I had made in the last few months for when I arrived.
The land here is beautiful. I am an exceptionally lucky man to be able to be this close to such glorious bushland and river systems, an abundance of natural rescources alongside flora and fauna.
I take nothing for granted.
do you have experience with the gen 2 peecock? particularly about what colour to choose?!
Unfortunately I only have experience with the Generation 1 Peecock, but I will tell you that I know a few friends who have the Generation 2 and they say to go a shade darker than you feel is correct.
Any of my followers wish to help out?
Update.
Long time no write, I’ve been ridiculously busy and for that I apologize.
I have two assessments left to complete in order to graduate, and there is 15 days until my Wife makes the journey to this town in order to pick me up and take me home.
I can’t really articulate how I am feeling about it all, because my emotions are so varied. I am beyond excited at finally, after almost three months – reuniting with my family on a permanent basis. I am excited to get work, begin life. Finish this chapter.
In the same instance I feel myself being somewhat saddened by the actuality of leaving this town. More so – the actuality of leaving my pseudo-family. These guys have carried me during some tough times, allowed me into their home without exception. Mostly, they’ve given me experiences I thought I would never have had the opportunity to experience given that I am married with a child.
I basically got to experience share house living, as though I were a batchelor. It’s been an eye opener and very rewarding. What a learning curve. So affirming.
The boys are all pretty shocked that the three months has gone by so rapidly; and the house feels a bit melancholy because of it. I plan to cherish the moments I have remaining with these three guys.
K is doing very well at his new school – the standardized testing results for all children in his year level nationally came back recently, and he is almost an entire band above average in everything. I am very proud.
My Wife is finally getting to do some real work with her job; after a couple of months building rapport with the local community and setting up a new office in the town. She rings me with excitement for debriefs, just like when we were living together in the city. It makes me happy.
The small town has mere spatterings of jobs, but due to the low population; everyone knows each other. As a result my Wife has been speaking of my imminent graduation, and has been encouraged to tell me to apply at several places that are desperate for someone with qualifications such as mine. To be able to use my arts degree in a rural backwoods town is more than a shock, to say the least. I was planning on falling back on hard labor and/or working with my Brother-In-Law with his company as an apprentice.
Today I will complete a take home examination, and then there will be one assessment remaining between graduation and I.
transmandad 