Tag: f2m

There is life after transition.

~ transmandad ~ Leave a comment

I wanted to post about something, to make something abundantly clear:

I don’t even remember I am trans/think about it in daily life.

There are some exceptions to that rule; dysphoric bouts, family bringing it up, self doubt, anxiety and depression. But for the most part – I live carefree, knowing I am 100% male in everything I do.

I don’t think about my past. It’s just that – the past. Sometimes people have history they’d rather not remember or speak about. And that’s how I view mine.

Have hope, there is life after transition. And it’s beautiful.

My wife and I are currently ttc and non disclosure was an easy decision for us. To you and other parents: If you were able to decide on disclosing or not, would you have? If you chose to do so, what would be your reasoning for it? Going to the Dr regularly or seeing a plastic surgeon is not uncommon today. Do you feel like it has some special relevance to being a parent or a person in general? I fail to see how feeling like a man and living as one means you have a secret that needs to be told.

~ transmandad ~ Leave a comment

I agree wholeheartedly;

there is no “secret” to be told. At all. Disclosure – especially to your children – is a very personal thing. If I had the choice over; I probably would still choose to disclose. My own Son was very, very confused about his own body in relation to my own – among many other reasons.

I feel as though me being trans has absolutely nothing to do with how I raise (or would raise) children, nor does it hold any baring on how I am as a human being in general.

I apologize if I didn’t answer your question properly.

Yes, I would choose to disclose if I had the option. I can’t quite articulate why I feel that way, though, and I know before my status was disclosed to him I was adamant he’d never know until he was older, if at any time.

It’s had no reflection on how he treats me. He still refers to his conception as though I was involved – “When your sperm met Mum’s egg and I was created….” and we don’t correct him. He knows what’s up.

Any other parents want to weigh in?

~ transmandad ~ Leave a comment

I’m still here. Just lurking a lot due to work and family commitments.

Also I have no bloody clue what to write about, so if there’s any suggestions – feel free to enlighten me.

Was there ever a time in your life when you were fervently against having kids? As in, Did Not Want? Or did you always want kids, or were you ambivalent or not sure? Did your attitude towards having kids change at any point and why?

~ transmandad ~ Leave a comment

There was certainly a time in my life where I was completely sure I would never have children, nor did I ever think I would want to be a Father.

I grew up stating adamantly that I would never have children, much to my parent’s disgust.

This all changed when I fell in love with my now Wife. When we met, I literally fell for her upon first gaze. At first, neither of us saw what we had as a lasting thing. Three days into knowing her, and having spent every waking hour with her since meeting she told me about K – who was 11 months old at the time and staying with his Grandmother as Wife was on holidays.

I was terrified of meeting K. I walked into the lounge room and saw his gorgeous blue eyes and blonde hair, and knew in that second this was my home. My Wife was my soul mate.

Within minutes, my Wife remarked that K must have soiled his nappy (diaper). Without hesitation I stood up, asked where the wipes and new nappies were and changed my first nappy.
My Wife was taken aback, to say the least. I’d never changed a kid’s nappy before, but seen it done countless times. I’m not scared of a little bit of poo – haha.

And that was it. It just… it was right. I cannot explain how I just “knew” that this was it, this is my family and this is forever. Almost ten years later, over one year married – I still maintain meeting K was the best damn decision I’ve ever made in my life.

[Edited to remove some unneeded, personal information]

~ transmandad ~ Leave a comment

I have to write an important post about things that happened while visiting my parents, but I don’t have time right now.

This is a placeholder/reminder to myself.

Hello! My girlfriend came out to me as trans a few weeks ago. I love and support him no matter what. We’ve already discussed some things pertaining to transitioning to male even though he isn’t quite sure if he wants to go through with it or not. There is one thing I feel like I need to ask someone who has already been through it. What have been things your wife has done to help you transition?

~ transmandad ~ Leave a comment

Hey,

It’s awesome that you’re so supportive of your boyfriend. Good for you and good for him!

Things that my Wife does to help me go far beyond transition, but off the top of my head I would say valuable transition-related help has come in the way of:

  • Making awkward appointments at gynecological specialists for me when I needed my hysto.
  • Sensing when I am dysphoric and allowing me space, comfort and time to heal.
  • She gives me my testosterone – I take Reandron (4ml of liquid) and it’s far too intense for me to self inject in my thigh – which is where I prefer to do shots when I do them myself. She does them in my buttocks.
  • She took care of me after my various surgeries.

The list is seemingly endless now that I think about it. I couldn’t have done this without my Wife.

do you think that your wife having your child and the fact that you have a child in general (that im sure is assumed to be your biological child by many) helps you remain stealth? or do you think it does not contribute to you in that way

~ transmandad ~ Leave a comment

I do think this was something that aided in the begginig of my transition, yes. Before T really took hold and gave me secondary sex characteristics such as facial hair, deep voice and body hair etc – oftentimes having K and my Wife around most likely did help with “passing” occasionally.

Now, though, it certainly doesn’t do anything of the sort. Regardless of my marital status or if I had children, I doubt there would be any kind of – well, anything that would “give me away” so to speak.

People here probably don’t even know what being trans means.