So, my Son is uncircumcised – this has been causing a few issues of late…

We took K for a general health check-up yesterday; there’s a few things that have been out of sorts including his legs being sore when playing basketball or excercising, and the fact that his foreskin still isn’t able to retract much, if at all.

I knew this would be slightly triggering, but I didn’t understand just how severely it would affect me.
Our family Doctor is fantastic, especially with children, and put K’s mind at ease about speaking to him regarding his penis. He made sure K felt comfortable with the examination, and gave him the utmost respect and privacy which was very appreciated. He prescribed some steroid cream to hopefully aid in thinning out his foreskin so it can be retracted over time, and gave K the direct instructions on how to apply it properly. K thought this was absolutely disgusting and gross, but understood that it was better than a surgical alternative.

Our Dr asked my Wife if it was okay if he could show K a photograph in a medical book of an uncircumcised penis with the foreskin retracted fully, so he understood what he was aiming for. My Wife was more than happy to let him see this, as I can’t provide it. The Doctor had difficulty locating a photograph that wasn’t an erect penis, and discussed this with my Wife. She was not concerned if he saw a photograph of an erect penis, due to the nature of the photograph itself (very medicalised) and the situation at hand. K was absolutely disgusted with the photo and thought it was pretty funny!
It was then that I realised he probably had never seen an adult male’s penis before, and that he didn’t realise my body was different from his. Dysphoria central.

Fast forward to when we arrived home and K had to apply the cream. I bowed out of this one due to me already having dysphoria around it, and let his Mum explain the application procedure one more time before she left him in his room with the door closed so he had privacy. K has obviously not begun his journey of physical discovery just yet, but I think having to apply cream to his penis twice daily will get the ball rolling, so to speak.
We explained about masturbation, and how that it’s perfectly normal etc.

So, the kid is doing well with his medicine and is now very comfortable speaking to us about his genitals, which is great. We explained that we are here to talk to, answer any questions etc.

Then, in the midst of discussing this I simply blurted out “Daddy doesn’t have a penis like yours, the testosterone makes a very small penis for me but I still have the parts that female’s are born with.”

He was shocked, and began asking questions which I didn’t have trouble answering. He used words I wouldn’t use to describe my own anatomy, but I understood he needed to use words that meant something to him.

I then also explained that I could not urinate while standing without using a device. I said “When you grow, your penis will grow. As it is now, your penis is already larger than mine – and it will continue to grow perhaps to the size of the penis you saw a photo of at the Doctor’s”
He was really surprised to find this information out! He was very respectful and understood the conversation completely. He apologized for having a larger penis than me, bless his little cotton socks, and I laughed and said “No worries mate!”. I needed to show him that I was okay with my genitals, even though I’m not. Not at all.

After K had gone to bed for the evening I retired to my bedroom and my Wife came in, realising that I had taken this very hard. She attempted to comfort me, but it’s very difficult to comfort someone when there isn’t really anything that can be done.
She listened whilst I blurted out a million different reasons why the situation upset me, including not being able to deal with “penis problems” like most other father’s can.

I am not sure why I am telling you this, but I felt I needed to write about it here. For those of you who perhaps know me IRL, please keep all of this confidential.