thepolitesir:

There’s a huge shitstorm right now because some dumb ass therapist is equating trans people being stealth with them being ashamed of themselves and inside the closet and shit like that. He is also assuming that stealth trans people can do absolutely nothing for their communities. This is so fucking far from the truth that I just want to scream and shit out a cinderblock or something to throw at the corner of his house.

1. Being trans doesn’t make up my entire identity. Yes, it assisted greatly in making me the man that I am today, and it gave me a certain set of unique issues to work through and various problems that I’ll need to face and overcome, but when I think of myself, I don’t describe myself as just being a trans guy. I describe myself as intelligent, resourceful, patient, kind, and stubborn. Those are the traits that make up -who- I am, and that’s all anyone but my medical professionals and significant other, and anyone else I deem worthy enough needs to know. 
2. Being stealth is not the same as being closeted. I live in Texas, so in part, being stealth for me is used as a safety measure. On the other hand, it’s basic comfort. I want to be viewed as who I am, not targeted and oggled because of something about me. I like getting through the day without being asked invasive questions about things I don’t want to think about.
3. I am not hiding anything about myself. The people who need to know are aware that I’m trans. That’s it. Nothing is hidden. 
4. I am perfectly capable of educating people without having to reveal my trans status. With the assload of studying and life experience I have with all of these issues, it’s safe to say that if I see people having a conversation about it and they have questions that they can’t come to an agreement on, I could easily find some way to explain a foreign concept to them without having to come right out and tell them, “by the way something whacko happened when I was born lol.”
5. I am not ashamed of being trans. As I stated in point 1, a large part of the reason I am who I am today is because of the things I’ve had to go through as a result of being trans. I’m not really proud of being trans, but I am proud of myself for coming as far as I have and enduring all of the shit that comes with this condition, as I am similarly proud of myself for overcoming other extremely daunting obstacles in my life. To have worked so fucking hard to get to a point where I’m remotely okay with myself and my accomplishments, I would be pretty fucking pissed if, for the rest of my life, I could only ever be viewed as one thing, instead of the dynamic, strong individual that I am.

It makes me really, really fucking sad that a THERAPIST doesn’t understand these things.

Being stealth is just fucking fine, as is being loud&out. It’s up to the individual to make that choice, and it really fucking bothers me that people are trying to bash on others who live differently than they do. Frankly, it’s none of your business if someone doesn’t want to be out&loud, they don’t have to be that way to be a ‘good trans activist person’ or whatever. There are a metric ton of things that stealth people have done that you don’t hear about because they’re fucking stealth.

my god.

TL:DR basically don’t be a stealth-shaming dick.