Ty.
For other “stealth” trans Men…
Are there instances in your life where you choose to out yourself to people (excluding sexual partners and Doctors)?
Why/why not?
Nope, unless I’m sleeping with you or you’re my doctor there’s no reason for you to know. I’ve spent almost ten years of my life trying to be perceived as the male I am, so why would I want anyone to view me as “different from other men”?
Interesting response, and one I also can commiserate with.
I would never out myself to someone who I felt may view me as any different from other men.
In this particular situation, me outing myself to this individual will benefit them personally (they’re not trans, do not have any association with transness).
So basically I’m stuck wondering if I should put aside my own reservations in order to benefit someone by outing myself. In this case there is no possible way they would be able to view me as “different” from other men.
outting yourself isnt so bad if you know for sure you can trust the people who have that info. I don’t have anything else to offer as advice as I was never able to be stealth since I started transitioning in middle school. Sorry :(
Yeah, I know. I’ve outed myself to people before – it’s a thing.
Just rarely. If ever.
My only issue with outing myself to this certain person is the issue of confidentiality. I live in a tiny rural town and it would be a very negative thing for my family if it became common knowledge.
For other “stealth” trans Men…
Are there instances in your life where you choose to out yourself to people (excluding sexual partners and Doctors)?
Why/why not?
I’ve been thinking about coming out to a few people recently.
In a few weeks I have to give a class presentation to my women’s studies class,…
Thanks so much for this response.
I have the same physical type nausea feelings and stuff when I think about outing myself also.
I have known this person for approximately 6 months, my Wife has known them for over a year and considers them a very good friend.
I guess the reason why I’d be considering outing myself isn’t actually to ‘benefit’ me in any way, rather the person I’d be disclosing to. For reasons I actually cannot be bothered to articulate, ha.
Long story short: actually terrified.
I leave for my second job in a few hours, and feel like doing naught but tumblr until then.
If you have any questions, hit up the ask box.
fightingweakness – I agree. Why in certain circumstances to you choose to out yourself?
I’m having a dilemma. I am considering outing myself to someone.
For other “stealth” trans Men…
Are there instances in your life where you choose to out yourself to people (excluding sexual partners and Doctors)?
Why/why not?
Hey, I just read your post about your dad and bottom surgery. I have several disabled friends as i play sledge hockey, a sport for paraplegics, amputees, etc. (I am able-bodied). I’m having top surgery in a month and been thinking about how to explain things to the guys as I am non-binary. I’m hoping they will understand a bit better when I remind them that if they had the option to change their scars, disability, whatever, most would jump at the chance. We are just lucky to have that option.
Hey, thanks for messaging.
We are certainly blessed (mostly) to be able to change things about our bodies that are not congruent with our innermost selves. For sure.
I think perhaps they may be able to understand a little more if you put it in that context, however it’s important not to devalue the experiences of people with disabilities. Being trans is not being disabled.
Wife’s discussion with my Father.
I’ve been meaning to write about this for quite some time, but haven’t felt I had enough time to give it the attention it deserves.
Some weeks back, whilst visiting my parents in another state – my Wife and Father had a frank, honest discussion with each other.
Some background information: my Dad is disabled, due to a work car accident when I was only six years old. As a result, he’s semi-paralyzed from the waist down and was told he’d never be able to walk again. He cannot feel his legs and feet, amoung other things. He’s taught himself how to walk because he is a stubborn bastard, haha.
Anyway – my Wife was attempting to explain why I feel like I want lower surgery, and the barrier to that surgery for me. Dad could not understand why having a penis was so important to me – he kept saying “But, the penis doesn’t make a man! – he’s more of a man than half the guys with dicks…”
My Wife tried, several ways, to get him to understand that I know a penis isn’t integral to being male, but for me it’s important.
He said something to her which I haven’t been able to forget. He said “Look, if I kept thinking the way he does – that I need to have a functioning ‘normal’ penis in order to be a man – I’d have killed myself years ago. Mine doesn’t work. Nothing. Nadda. Nobodies home. Probably a bit too much information, but you get what I mean.”
Dad has a bit of trouble speaking to me about these types of personal things. It’s not been a usual occurance in his culture and family to have men speak to each other so honestly about such deep topics, so I wasn’t actually there for the conversation.
My Wife told my Father that he needed to tell me that. All of it. And whilst he agreed; it has yet to happen.
I keep thinking about the conversation they had and feeling bad. Because here’s my own Father – the strongest man I know. The most amazing Father and Husband and Brother and Son. And he feels like I do. Or has. Whatever. And here I am – able-bodied, healthy. Not disabled. And I have the nerve to whinge about not having a cock?
I guess this is why I never wrote about this previously, simply because I don’t know what else to say other than this particular conversation has had me thinking for several weeks.
Testosterone
It never seems to amaze me the changes a hormone can produce. I have loved being part of the journey; the voice changing, the hair growing and departing, the fat redistribution, changes to his physique and his cock…. It is so important that he gets the right dose of his man juice when needed.
…
transmandad 