transmandad here is the video!
Here’s a really good and important video from Mr chaseross.
just posted the video for you!
You are amazing, thank you!
(1) Hey, thanks for answering yesterday. I understand how STP factors into the equation; I use one too and have been on T for well over a year now. I have also been with the same woman for five years. That’s why I would have expected my bottom dysphoria to wane much in the way that yours has, and to a degree, it has. But, there are a multitude of things that cannot be satisfactorily approximated without surgery; urinating while standing being the one I chose to mention yesterday. I just can’t…
(2) force myself not to think about how “it’s not the same.” That’s the thought that always goes through my head with almost everything that has to even do with down there or anything that I might do to cope with the fact that there something wrong there (using STPs, packers, etc; even just getting ready in the mornings with those things), “It’s not the same; you’re not the same.” That’s all I can seem to think, even when I actively think that I’m pretty much the same as any other guy except…
(3) for the defect with which I was born (and I really do think that), I can’t ignore the fact that I was born different; that that has an effect, and that that effect is not a major thing to the identity of a human being as male. I can’t shirk the knowledge that no matter what I do or what surgeries I have; I will never be the same as a cis male, and that there are millions of things that they experience that I never will. and furthermore, that there are things that I experience that a…
(4) cis male never has and never will. Sorry that was so long. Also, you answer seemed to assume that I am newly trans or new to this realization; that is not the case. I consider you a resource as being at a place in your transition to which I hope to get in mine; I was hoping you would have some insight as to how you got there.
Hey. Thanks for messaging me again.
I don’t know what to say other than the fact that my bottom dysphoria has not waned, in any way – I am just more readily able to distract myself from it and have found ways which I can escape the dysphoric cycle with regards to packing. I sleep with it, I shower with it, it really never leaves me. My own Father hasn’t got a “properly” functioning penis, and he’s spoken to my Wife about how he reconciles that. I figure if he’s able to do so, maybe I could too. So I began working on ways to lessen my dysphoria.
No, you will never be a cis male. And I commiserate with your disappointment/resentment surrounding that issue, but it’s unfortunately something that we have to grapple with due to our conditions.
I’m not entirely sure how I sounded as though I was assuming you were newly transitioned? I don’t understand how you could have taken my answer that way. I was sharing with you the ways in which I lessen my own lower dysphoria.
I can’t outline any way in which I’ve managed to reach a point where I don’t think about my transness anymore. There isn’t “one thing” that I’ve done, but a series of things after some heavy self reflection.
I do believe being so busy has a lot to do with it; I am around cis males for the majority of my working days (very hetero-centric, bigoted ones mind you) and when I am at home I am constantly on the go; looking after my Son and doing chores. The only times I sit down are right before I go to sleep, and then I’m usually on my phone looking at tumblr.
One thing I did was (other than this, separate blog) unfollowed ALL trans-related blogs on my personal tumblr. I found I’d be triggered by seeing all those relatable dysphoria riddled posts, and simply omitting them from my life worked quite well.
What STP do you use that you don’t have to readjust before peeing? I’ve been looking for something like that..
I mentioned it in my answer to that comment, it’s a Peecock (specifically Gen 1, but Gen 2 looks much improved).
It just sits in my underpants and isn’t gross because it’s made of silicone. When I need to piss, I just whip it out.
Official Trailer for Australian Movie “52 Tuesdays”.
Powerful.
I don’t have to think about it each time I use the bathroom because I use an STP (peecock) for which I do not have to touch my natal anatomy. I pull out my dick and pee.
It’s gotten to the point where I don’t even actually remember that cis males don’t have to do the thing that I do when I use the bathroom (use an STP).
I honestly just don’t even remember that I don’t have the “right” junk downstairs unless I’m showering or washing my STP. It does then give me a fair amount of dysphoria, I will admit, but it’s no where near the “reminding me every single second” that I used to suffer through.
Now I suffer what I call bouts of dysphoria, and in general actually forget that I am not a cis male.
Whereas previously I would remember about every ten seconds and be in somewhat of a constant dysphoric flux.
Edited to add more:
Alongside this; I have been with my (now) Wife for almost ten years; when we are intimate there is no disconnect between my body and my mind, because of the way she interacts with it. This relieves/lessens some dysphoria, I feel.
Sorry to be such a nosey anon. I’m finally getting my transition underway (after living the past two years as a male, non-passing, though) and I’m reaching out to you because you’ve been there, done that. Can you offer advice on how to explain the changes testosterone will cause in me to my children?
That’s a tough one, but there is an awesome free book that’s been released (and you can also buy a hardcopy, too) called the “Little Boy Book” which explains in children’s terms exactly what happens when their Father takes testosterone.
It is something of a relief to find out that I’m not the only transmasculine father that hasn’t had lower surgery. Thanks for being so open about things.
I pack 24/7 as a result, and I can’t tell you that I am happy with my equipment as it stands currently. But I can say that even if I did have the money right now, I’d not be in a rush to go and get things done – I am terrified of having negative results or complications.
Also – No problems about being “open” when I am stealth. That’s the entire reason why I am able to answer all of these questions in the first place.
How soon after finding an endocrinologist were you able to start HRT?
Things work differently in Australia, where I reside.
I had to go: Shrink > General Practitioner (Dr) with Shrink’s referral letter, who then gave me T > find an endo to montior levels. Now I don’t even see an endo, my GP monitors all my bloods etc.
It was almost ten years ago, but I’d had prior Therapy records where I discussed my gender in detail, so when I saw the “Gender Therapist” they spoke to me for exactly one session before they gave me the go ahead to begin T.
Have you had SRS? If so, are you impressed with the results?
I have had a few surgeries, which were considered “SRS” but none of them lower.
I would very much like to have lower surgery, however I am not in a financial position to be able to do so, nor have I found a surgeon I’d like to utilize.
transmandad 