Hey.

I unfortunately do suffer quite a bit from balding. I guess it began shortly after my 19th Birthday – so just over a year on T. It wasn’t particularly significant until approximately five years ago, where my receeding got quite noticable and bad alongside significant thinning on the top of my head.

Genetically speaking, I was fucked either way. Both of the men on either side of my family have the same male pattern baldness, but I really feel I got it from my Mother’s side. Her Father and Brothers both went bald early as did I, and they now sport what I like to refer to as the “Port Phillip Bay” (an Aussie thing…) where they only grow hair on the side of thier head. My Father, his Brothers and my paternal Grandfather however went bald the exact same way, just not as rapidly.

At first, I was so distraught from going bald. I was angry that I had waited so long to be outwardly male, and that I only got perhaps one year with a non receeding full head of hair. I felt cheated. I grew out my fringe, trying to hide it – as was the popular style at the time. It looked horrible. I didn’t want to be that dude with the comb-over, and thankfully I never let it go that long.

Eventually, somewhere along the line I made peace with it. I realised that if I was born properly, I would still be dealing with this. I began buzzing my head really close and kept it that way for some years. It looked much better, but there was a noticable difference between the stubble on the sides of my head as opposed to the top: it was obvious why I kept my hair that short.

Nowdays, I shave my head absolutely bald. I grow hair just fine on the sides, very thick – and I still grow hair on the top of my head however it is far thinner and blonder than anywhere else on my head – and particularly receeded. Shaving it bald makes me feel more confidant – it’s amazing how freeing not having to worry about hair feels. I have a beard, partially so I don’t look like “an egg” (one of my greatest fears!) and partially due to the fact that I may as well grow hair somewhere on my head if not the top of it.

I couldn’t imagine having a full head of hair now. I did mourn the loss of it for sure, and I can safely say that accepting my baldness has taken quite a lot of personal battles – but in no way do I regret taking testosterone.

Quite frankly I’d rather be bald and alive, than dead with a full head of hair.

Don’t let this dissuade or scare you; I personally know men who have been on Testosterone for just as long as me if not longer and they still have a full, luscious head of hair. It’s all in the genes.