Internal Conflict.

~ transmandad ~ Leave a comment

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I often feel like a hypocrite, or paradoxical at the very
least.

I have been stealth for my entire transition, “deep stealth”
for the last nine years. It’s the way I wanted things to be, because being
transsexual is not my identity and is not who I am.

But recently I’ve begun to yearn for some form of… not
visibility per se, but a safe place where I can speak openly about my history
and the issues that go along with being post-transition.

In a town such as this, where being different could mean
something as small as not conforming to the town’s narrow and outdated idea of
dress codes, it feel suffocating to know that those around me would likely
literally harm me if they were to find out about my history.

I am relived that we are fitting in here so well according
to societal norm, while at the same time frustrated with the lack of open
minded individuals. Not even in relation to outing myself, because I guess that’s
not entirely the crux of the problem – more so just feeling as though I can
relate on a wholly human level without a sense of pretence or distain for those
that may not share my views, whatever they may be.

~ transmandad ~ Leave a comment

I now remember why I got my hyso before I changed my sex! Thank goodness for Wives with great memories.

I could have legally done it before hand, however if I wanted my hysto covered by medicare I needed to be legally female to do so. Men don’t need hystos, there’s no code in the system to put it through if I were legally male already.
I wanted it covered via public health, so I waited to change my sex in order to do so.

~ transmandad ~ Leave a comment

djmadda-hiphop said: I legally changed my sex on my birth certificate to Male without having hysto – only having had top surgery….

For some reason, my GP at the time told me I had to have two surgical interventions prior to them being able to change it. I wasn’t opposed to it anyway, because my pre-hysto tests came back not good so it was time for that junk to get removed regardless. I will admit to being ticked off when I found out they’d likely change my sex as I’d had one surgical intervention, and one other medical intervention (testosterone). Of course, I did literally submit every single medical document relating to my transition as evidence because I was so paranoid they’d refuse me. And the BDM required my GP + at least one surgeon to sign a statutory declaration saying I’d had the procedures as specified.

angels-sang-a-whiskeylullaby said: That’s a huge dose.. I’m on 0.5ml per week,….

Reandron 1000 is a slow release form of Testosterone, meaning I only have to get my shot once every three months. It makes the whole process alot less “medicalised” for me, and I don’t have to remember as many times.

~ transmandad ~ Leave a comment

I’ve been reflecting on my transition a little bit lately.

If it weren’t for my Wife’s incessant need to journal the entirity of my top surgery, I’d not likely be able to give you more than a bare recreation of events. Likewise, and probably more significantly was my hysto – which beyond a few minor things I can hardly even recollect. All I was concerned with is that it meant I could change my legal sex, thus marry my Wife.

Not quite sure where this is going.

~ transmandad ~ Leave a comment

angels-sang-a-whiskeylullaby said: I just switched from intramuscular to Sub-Q, and it’s way easier on my
body, doesn’t cause much scar tissue build-up, and I barely feel the
needle at all. Studies are showing that Sub-Q is just as effective, if
not more effective, than IM injections.

This is also true, for what it’s worth.
I however can’t fathom taking 4ml of liquid sub-q, which is how I get dosed as I take Reandron 1000. That would feel like a sack of liquid until it absorbs…*shudder*

~ transmandad ~ Leave a comment

Puss is likely to be coming home sometime after lunch. She’s still got blood in her urine but has antibiotics, anti inflammatorys and painkillers. She’s eaten and is stable.
If she’s not improved in a few days she’ll need further testing and well…. I’m not even going down that road yet.

She’s coming home.
The dog’s been whining and waiting by the gate for her since it happened last night. Puss HATES the dog. Haha. K went to school looking like a broken little man. I can’t wait to see his face when he sees our little puss home again.

Thank you all so much for the kind words.