I’m 17 and looking at my options for college (I want to be a nurse). Being stealth after high school is really appealing, but I don’t know if it’s realistic. Right now I’m five months on T, and surgery seems pretty far away (but definitely needed for me). Do you have any experience/thoughts you can share of being stealth in college? What are your thoughts on how long it takes to be able to go stealth (in terms of passing/old connections/etc) thanks :)

~ transmandad ~ Leave a comment

Hey – so I was stealth in college however I had the added bonus that I did not attend college anywhere near my home town. In an entirely different state, in fact. 
I never had to worry about running into “old” acquaintances, but there were a few logistics which needed to be considered such as gym locker rooms, showers, party bathroom issues and living arrangements. 

All in all, if you pass – it shouldn’t really be a problem at all. 

Hey, my wife and I are thinking of starting the adoption process quite soon. I was wondering your views on telling our child about the fact that I am trans, I have asked a few other people who told me its better to not tell them but they haven’t any children. Many thanks in advance

~ transmandad ~ Leave a comment

I have written about this before in my FAQ, but briefly – this is an entirely individual choice. 
K learned about me by accident, and prior to his understanding I was almost adamant that he wasn’t to be told. In the end, I’m glad he found out (even if it was through an unfortunate set of circumstances) and he really hasn’t brought it up since except for the odd question here or there. 

I live in a rental house with my boyfriend and 2 roommates. There’s another guy who asked recently if we’re looking for another roommate, and we are. The only problem is, I think this guy might be transphobic. He knows that I’m trans, and I’m afraid it would be really stressful to live with him because he’d be trying to have arguments with me about gender all the time, and I would always know that he doesn’t completely accept me for who I am. On the other hand, perhaps I’m being too sensitive.

~ transmandad ~ Leave a comment

Safety is paramount. You shouldn’t have to put yourself in a situation where you feel uncomfortable in your own home. 

I think I’d probably err on the side of caution with regard to this one. You need  safe space. 

For the anon who struggles with being short, I am also a trans guy who is only 5’0. I’m not a bodybuilder, but the one thing that helps is working out. Seeing the muscle gain from exercise gives me something positive about my body to focus on, and makes being shorter than even most of the women in my family easier to deal with. Hope this helps a bit.

~ transmandad ~ Leave a comment

Thanks anon, I agree – working out and getting bigger in any capacity helps my height dysphoria. 

Update.

~ transmandad ~ Leave a comment

I promised an update a while back, then promptly never got around to writing it. It’s been so long and there’s so much to say that I often attempt to begin only to find myself pretty overwhelmed with the task. 

I’ll do my best, even if it’s only short.

K turns 13 this weekend. It’s ridiculous that I can even say that – thirteen. He’s grown so much, entered High School (!) and is loving having more independence. Due to our rural locale, he has to get up early and catch the bus to his school – then in reverse. This see’s him have longer hours than a lot of 9-5ers, and at first we were concerned about how this would impact him. 

To his credit, he’s taken things in his stride. He adores his campus and his teachers, and his last school report is the best one we’ve ever had yet. It’s such a lovely change to see him enjoy school for the first time since we moved here. 

I taught him how to shave recently, too. We got his school photos back about 4 weeks after they were taken, and in the photo his moustache was significant and noticable! His school is fairly strict on a no-facial-hair policy, and on a whim I decided to teach him how to wet shave. I’m a bit proponent of old school style wet shaving with a badger hair brush, shave soap and a double edged razor. Needless to say, kiddo got a bic and used my brush and soap. He only had to shave his moustache, and he missed the edges so I had to help get those. 
I’m not going to lie, it was quite emotional. My Wife snapped a photo of the process and I will cherish that. 

What else? He’s begun singling me out to ask more questions relating to men, as opposed to his Mum. That’s new, because he’s always been a Mumma’s boy. This is apparently a developmental milestone in kid’s teenage years. 

All in all, K is such a wonderful human being and I am so thankful for the privilege to be his Father. 

hey, my guy. wanted to say thanks for this blog. i’m a … quietly trans guy in my mid-20s, post top, on t, and about to enter my professional career. things are finally feeling settled, and i’ve been thinking about fatherhood: what it means to be a good dad, how much of my life i’d share, that sort of thing. don’t have a lot of role models in this, and i really appreciate you sharing your experiences. feels less lonely, less scary, just knowing others are out there.

~ transmandad ~ Leave a comment

Nothing to add, just posting.