Early thirties post-transition stealth Father and Husband
So here’s the artists impression my very good, very talented friend did of me a while back. None of these are entirely accurate, but there’s a lot of ‘me’ in all of them and that makes me feel exposed and vulnerable I guess.
My friend said no credit was due, and that also protects my anonymity somewhat so I am thankful. But I’m very very appreciative of the work that went into this “very quick sketch”.
As always, if you know me IRL please respect my privacy.
This is lovely to have in my inbox, and really reassuring. Thank you for the kind words, and thanks for reading – even when I post little anecdotes.
This touches on a lot of what I feel, but there’s a bit more to it that I don’t have the time to expand on currently.
I’d like to do a post on it sometime soon
This is tough, and ultimately you are the only one who can work this out.
But I like to think you’d be a parent who is more equipped to deal with parenting in general if you weren’t suppressing yourself. Also it bodes well to demonstrate this to kids.
Personally I had already begun transition when I came into K’s world. I’m not sure how I would have handled things in any other scenario.
Because I do suffer from being trans. Daily. Dysphoria is fucked.
I personally despise being trans.
If I could have been born cis, I would.
Everyone else’s mileage may vary but that’s me.
@drankles – Internalised transphobia? Maybe. But it’s difficult to articulate exactly why I don’t think it is. I don’t hate myself for being trans at all, but I certainly suffer from the negative mental and social aspects of having to be trans.
Wife on the front page of the local paper for her work. This is why I need to be stealth – if it’s not her, it’s me.
Survived the party. People are far more interested in our family since we’ve been looking to purchase our first house and land. They can fuck right off, to be frank. If they knew us they’d realise material wealth means literally nothing to us – we aren’t purchasing a dream 5 bedroom estate.
We’re buying piece of mind, stability and something to leave K. Something modest that we can pay off in under 10 years.
My Wife’s niece’s Birthday Party is today.
The kids are amazing and adorable; but my Wife’s family actively dislikes both my Wife and I. We’re too “outside the box” with ideas, politics and everything else for them.
It’s super awkward; but it’s about the kids today.
Not particularly looking forward to it, I must say.
Also I am up early and I’ve already done the dishes. Contemplating going for a skate while the town is so still and quiet.
I love the middle of town at this hour. No one else is around and it makes me feel invigorated.
I got given some sketches that are beyond phenomenal from an exceptionally talented artist friend – of “me”.
They’re not exactly of me, but close enough for me to have held onto them for a week without posting.
I feel bad, because they’re great illustrations. I just need to get over my trepidation and post them.
transmandad 