Hey, you replied to my hysto post. How did your hysto go? What type did you have done?
I had my hysto approximately 2 years ago. I had it done laproscopically (keyhole), and had not only a complete hysto but also an oopherectomy where they take out all female internal reproductive organs entirely.
Surgically everything went perfectly and I found it less painful than my chest surgery. What no one prepared me for however was the emotional upheaval I went through the first few days after my hysto.
It is quite common to bleed for some time after having this operation, so be advised you may be triggered by having to wear sanitary napkins or something similar to catch blood.
I was really really lucky and did not bleed one single drop even the day of surgery, thank goodness. I don’t know how I would have coped with the pad thing.
Suddenly not having anything that produced estrogen in my body really seemed to shake it up physically and more so emotionally until my body was able to get used to not having that shit there I guess. It was pretty heavy days emotionally speaking.
Personally, I was ecstatic – that surgery meant I didn’t have shit in my body that shouldn’t have been there in the first place, that I could change my birth cert to male and therefore marry my Fiance of many years.
I’d been on T for 6 years at that point, but straight after my hysto I found myself bursting into tears for no apparent reason, being very irritable and irrational. I chalked it up to the hormones no longer battling away inside me for supremacy, and the fact that my endocrine system was getting used to a whole new set of rules. The emotional upheaval lasted maybe a week or so.
After speaking with Women who had the procedure done, and then later on other men like myself – they re-iterated the initial feeling of depression/irritability a few days after surgery.
Just exercise self care and be aware that you may become a little emotional in the days after a hysto. I have the emotional capacity of a walnut most days, and was sure this is something that wouldn’t affect me, but it did.
downloading kik
add me! (internet_tears)
I haven’t yet figured out how to add people lmao. I’m “Taxidermy”
Transmandad is my kik username if anyone would like to know.
Got K’s year two final report card. All “high achievement” and “outstanding achievement”. So very proud, so very blessed to have a child who genuinely loves learning and school. I also got to watch his class perform their Christmas assembly item which was adorable. K got a solo singing part and absolutely lapped up the attention. I wont tag this as its not related to trans, specifically.
Gotta say, I love all your little updates about being a trans Dad. It’s something I really want to be and just I’m just so happy and respect you for putting up your experiences for us to read. Cheers.
Thanks very much for the kind words and support. I’m not sure if my little rants are helpful or not, but I didn’t find any other trans dad tumblrs out there so I decided to input what I could.
The Birds and the Bees Talk.
Read more under cut.
K has always been a curious fellow, so when he came home and asked if “The word Sex meant hello?” as another student told him it did, I had to set him straight. I couldn’t have him waving hello to people shouting out “Sex!” thinking that’s what it meant.
My Wife and I had already explained the basics to him previously, he knew he was in his mother’s tummy until he was ready to be born, he also knew that he came out her vagina. He found this funny and gross.
So my Wife and I sat him down this one day and explained exactly how a baby is made, and what the word sex meant. We did it in a somewhat scientific manner – K is obsessed with documentaries and has a very large vocabulary for someone of his age, so this appealed to him. I can’t recall exactly what we said, but it was something along the lines of “When people want to make a baby, a man puts his penis into a womans vagina and releases sperm from his penis inside the woman which then fertilizes the egg. A baby is then able to grow inside the Mother’s tummy.”
He was totally not ready for that answer I guess, because he looked rather mortified, thought it was utterly disgusting that anyone would want thier genitals to meet, then changed the subject to Minecraft (the best thing ever when you’re 8, apparently).
Since then he’s asked a few more questions, like how gay couples are able to have babies. We’ve answered these honestly as well, speaking about IVF, donors, adoption, fostering etc. He gets very upset when speaking about Marriage equality because to him, if you love someone enough you should be able to get married regardless of gender.
Smart kid.
All in all the “birds and the bee’s” talk went over much easier than I had anticipated. Probably because there was not many questions he had, and nothing that particular triggered my dysphoria because I was speaking about it in a somewhat scientific manner.
We always remind K to come to us if he has any questions about sex, and not to me embaressed or ashamed because as parents, it’s our job to answer his questions to the best of our abilities.
Hysterectomy
I am terrified of when I get a hysterectomy. Next to no trans people talk about it… Like ever… Especially on Tumblr where the snowflakes are taking over everything and they don’t even consider the prospect of that type of surgery.
One of my co-workers (cis lady) has just had a hysto and because of the type of work we do she has been told to have 3 months off work. 3 MONTHS!! I am so worried about it. My co-worker are all pretty close but they know nothing about my medical history (and they will not know!) so I have no idea how I am going to get around explaining an op that needs a fair amount of recovery time.
Bleurgh
I had mine almost two years ago and if you have any questions you are welcome to ask.
Burn All Your Mementos of Me: the last time I went to my pharmacist, the cost of my T had tripled -…
the last time I went to my pharmacist, the cost of my T had tripled – my old health center had some sort of ~deal~ so it still only cost me $30 a vial, but the pre-discount cost was like $300
now today, i’m watching TV and I see some new “underarm application” T gel for guys with “low T”, aka….
I am legally male on all documentation and have had my GP Get mine covered by public healthcare so I only have to pay a small gap fee of $5.50. He put the reasoning as “insufficent testosterone production” and an adrenal gland problem – none of which are inaccurate.
Burn All Your Mementos of Me: the last time I went to my pharmacist, the cost of my T had tripled -…
How come Brownstein and Garramone are like the 2 surgeons everyone wants to go to? I’ve seen other surgeons with just as good results. Is it kind of like how people prefer to buy brand name items instead of generic ones?
I’ve been wondering this too. There is a surgeon closer to me, and I’ve seen his results (and they look excellent) and I’m totally gonna go to him, not someone who is way far away (not to mention more expensive)….I do understand why, if you’re only barely looking into it, you would find so many people going to the same people, and would want to go there as well. Especially if the results are good. But research shouldn’t stop there. I’m not trying to make anyone who has gone to Garramone or Brownstein feel bad for their choice, not at all, especially because I’ve seen results from inexperienced surgeons and…my heart goes out to folks who have to deal with multiple follow-up surgeries.
But I do still think there are plenty of other surgeons out there who can do just as good of jobs and get looked over because their names aren’t out there as much.
i went to brownstein mainly because of my location. i had no initial desire to go out of state anways, but my mom and girl came with me so it had to be a reasonable distance from my house even though we stayed in sf for a week. i tried to find a local plastic surgeon closer that could just do it but i was afraid i’d regret going to someone who didn’t “specialize” in “top surgery”. i don’t regret going to brownstein, he’s the nicest guy and has the same sense of humor as me.
but you pay a premium for brownstein compared to local plastic surgeons and other surgeons (medalie, garramone, ect)
edit: also brownstein does good nipples (personal opinion)
OT, but if I could find a local plastic surgeon that had good results I would consider going to them based on their results and price.
I went to a local plastic surgeon. Granted, she had previous excellent results on this type of surgery however she was relatively unknown at the time. I couldnt be happier with my results.
Having to deal with all the “boy issues” because you’re the man of the family…
Read under cut thing.
In our family, gender roles aren’t really a thing. We just sort of fall into them – meaning my Wife is the better cook out of the two of us, so she generally does most of the cooking. I am better at fixing shit, so I generally do those things. If we are travelling somewhere as a family, my Wife will drive as she really enjoys it, whereas I see driving as a bit of a chore.
Despite this, we neatly fall into some categories of gender roles – most specifically the notion that I am the man of the house, therefore I must deal with the man things such as penis questions from K, all manner of male social shit, ridding the house of scary insects, checking outside when a noise is heard, mowing the lawn etc. This has mainly been due to my Wife just not being able to cope with these things on her own, even though she’s more than capable – she prefers if I tend to these things.
This is all well and good, I don’t mind in the slightest.
Except for the part where it means I have to answer questions about penises, girls and general little boy inquiries.
As K has grown, he’s become more aware of his own body. As is normal. There’s been a plethora of penis related questions, and I’ve been able to answer them all accurately as they’ve popped up. That doesn’t do much to relieve the intense stress and dysphoria that also rears it’s ugly head alongside these little queries.
I feel, again, as though I am not one to be able to answer these questions accurately simply due to my history. As a direct result I’ve had to actually “step-down” in that particular role as “sole-penis-question-adviser” and relinquished part of that role to my Wife for when I don’t feel comfortable/able to answer myself.
I explained to my Wife why it made me uncomfortable; it’s a solid reminder that I myself never got to ask the same questions to my Father. That I didn’t grow up with the correct anatomy or socialization. And then it compounds in my head to things such as “I’m not an okay Father because of my history” – cue spiraling self-accusations. My Wife, of course, was mortified that I’d taken this long to speak to her about something that had made me so uncomfortable. She apologized for flippant remarks such as “Well I don’t have a penis, so how would I know?! Better ask your Father…” – because she forgets that I’m trans.
That’s really awesome, I wish more than anything I could forget too.
transmandad 