hi i was wondering how did your family like your mother and father felt about your change ? and how did you tell them

~ transmandad ~ Leave a comment

Well, they didn’t take it lightly at first.

I told them via a letter, like many other people. I come from a family where anything personal really isn’t encouraged to be spoken about – especially to your parents so I felt this was the easiest way.

I also had the support of my therapist at the local children’s hospital where I was being treated for gender stuff and depression. She arranged a meeting with my Mother, Father and myself alongside her to be able to mediate and answer any questions.

Long story short, that day was very emotional and it took them a good 3 years for them to fully get over the fact that I’m nothing more than thier son.

It certainly helped that once I began my medical transition at 18, I also moved states to be with my now Wife and Son. The next time they saw me, I had significant facial hair, a much deeper voice and no one could mistake me for anything other than a man.

Now, they adore thier Grandson with all thier might, adore the shit out of my Wife (think they like her more than me! haha) and every single time I visit it just gets better. My Dad is getting older now and absolutely loves to employ me to do the heavy lifting jobs and “strong” things. He loves to brag about x, y and z that I’m doing/have done. Has told me several times he is so very proud that I am his son. Everytime he see’s me slouching he takes me aside and says “I know you had that shit on your chest before, but you don’t now. Stand up straight, you’re good looking bloke!”.

It’s really, really good.

~ transmandad ~ Leave a comment

Calling out homophobia behaviour in my kid.

K is actually obsessed with video games and his ultimate goal in life is to design and create them for his profession. He’s eight.

Directly connected to this is the youtube videos he watches with walkthroughs and gaming commentary. My Wife and I monitored this at first, watched them with him. They’re usually older guys who use language that an eight year old doesn’t need to hear – so we sat him down and said we would continue to let him watch these sorts of videos as long as he understood that certain words have negative connotations and they can make people feel hurt when you use them. He’s been great, not one single swear word has exited his mouth besides from an accidental “shit!” when we were in the car one day. All it took was a stern look and he said “I am SO sorry, I honestly did not mean that, it just came out!”.

Sweet.

The other day however he said something along the lines of “so and so is gay!” – meaning whoever he was speaking about was bad.
Wifey jumped on this one straight away, asking what he meant by that, if he knew what gay actually meant etc. He knows about homosexuality – is a staunch marriage equality activist to anyone that will lend an ear (8!!! haha) but didn’t actually know what the word gay meant.

Once explained, he agreed that it’s ridiculous to say something like that in a negative way because “gay people are nice people and they just love each other!” – again, good.

I guess we missed the ball on that one, but it’s sorted now.

~ transmandad ~ Leave a comment

Everyone needs to stop asking Nick so many questions! There’s a lot other guys on here with similar blogs, and you’re burning this dude out.

50 answers a day and you still don’t get your message count down? That’s what I call dedication. Well done for being so resilliant.

~ transmandad ~ Leave a comment

Played a couple of games of pool, watched a couple more. Lost ridiculously but actually had a great time. Met some new friends and was surrounded by mainly very old, quirky men. It was hysterical just observing but I actually feel like I nailed it socialization wise. A+ would socialize again.

~ transmandad ~ Leave a comment

I am friends with a father who’s children also attend k’s school. He’s a really nice guy, very rough cut but cares for his wife and kids immeasurably. Mainly our interactions have been waiting for our kids at school where we both arrive early to ensure we get a car park, but before school broke up we exchanged numbers. He’s having a hard time with his health; been diagnosed with incurable stomach cancer and begun radiation and chemo so I wanted him to know I could help with the kids or transport, even if it’s something small. New years and Christmas well wishes were exchanged via text and I was stoked on having such a good friend that also had children and most importantly, whom I was stealth to. Not queer, didn’t know me via association in certain circles, just met me and liked me. That was comforting. I just got a text asking if I’d be up for a game of pool or snooker sometime. I’m absolutely petrified about this for some reason, I mean it sounds fantastic. Games of pool with a great dude. In my head I’ve got it all twisted up: that something, somehow will out me. Anyway, regardless of stupid dysphoric insecurities – we are attempting to arrange a day/time. Just needed to vent and freak out.